


The Stars Foretold

by EscapeTheVault



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:13:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 52,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27874386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapeTheVault/pseuds/EscapeTheVault
Summary: Celeste Shepard may be "Ruthless", but the job has to get done somehow.Fortunately, she gets by with a little help from her friends.
Relationships: Female Shepard (Mass Effect)/Original Male Character(s), Garrus Vakarian/Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, Jack | Subject Zero/Original Character(s), Jack | Subject Zero/Original Female Character(s), Kaidan Alenko & Female Shepard, Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard, Thane Krios & Female Shepard, Thane Krios/Female Shepard, Thane Krios/Shepard
Kudos: 11





	1. The Butcher

**Author's Note:**

> I really didn't know where to start with this fic just because there is SO MUCH content int the Mass Effect trilogy. I didn't want to write four recruitment missions (hell I barely even wrote one) so I kinda just spitballed, but after this, it'll be more spread out.

Celeste Shepard hurled one last warp at the charging Krogan and sighed in satisfaction when he didn’t stand back up. She turned her attention back to where Dr T’Soni had hidden behind a large crate. Kaidan finished off one last geth easily, and Wrex chuckled heartily. Suddenly, the entire digsite shook violently.

“Shepard!” The asari shouted, panicked. “This whole thing is going to crumble. We need to get out- now!”

The quad set off at a run. The tremors continued to get worse. Celeste stumbled, but Wrex caught her arm and helped right her. A large boulder fell just inches from Dr T’Soni, who involuntarily squeaked. This reminded Celeste of some of the old adventure vids she’d seen as a kid and she giggled as they barely cleared the door to the dig site. She briefly stopped to catch her breath. Joker set the Normandy down just outside the campus and they booked it for the airlock. Dr T’Soni neatly leapt over geth corpses like some sort of deadly assassin gymnast. Wrex moved remarkably quickly for something his size. 

The Normandy lifted off as the group shed their armor. They dispersed silently and Celeste headed into the cockpit. 

“Commander, next time can we not cut it so close?” Joker smirked up at her.

“But I thought you’re the best pilot in the Alliance?” She smirked back.

“I am, but that doesn’t mean I want to keep landing on crumbling mine shafts on the regular.”

“Fine, I guess.” Celeste grinned. She turned and headed out.

“She seems nice though, I guess.” 

“Uh-huh. Talk to you later, Joker.”

She headed back to the Normandy’s elevator. Liara was being checked out by Dr. Chakwas but she wanted to check on her anyway. She picked at her fingernails and waited for the ungodly slow elevator to come to a stop. She practically burst out of it and turned towards med-bay. She glanced over at Kaidan but he was busy tinkering with something and didn’t look up. She slipped into med-bay, nodding to the two women inside. 

“Shepard, Dr. T’Soni checks out.” Dr Chakwas smiled genuinely.

“Good.” Celeste smiled back. “Liara, you have some time to chat?”

“Of course, Shepard. I’d like that. I set up in this back room here, if that’s alright with you?”

“Sure. If it’s comfortable enough, I guess. There are more comfortable quarters available if you’d like, though?”

“I’m happy back here near the doctor, really.”

“Fine.” Celeste crossed her arms. “I’m sure you know why I’m really here.”

“You mentioned something before about Matriarch Benezia. I am her daughter, so I imagine you must have questions.”

“Bingo.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have any information for you. I haven’t spoken to my mother in some time. I’m sure it is a common thing for humans, as well- when is the last time you spoke to your mother, for example?”

“Yeah my parents died when I was a kid, though. I was a street orphan.”

“Oh. I apologize, Shepard. I meant no disrespect…”

“It’s fine, really.”

“But I cannot say why my mother would be working with Saren. I wish that I could be more helpful.”

“I’m sure you’ll be more than helpful, Liara.”

“I truly hope that you are right.”

“Anyway, you should rest and settle in. We have a long road ahead of us.”

“Agreed.” Liara nodded. Celeste bowed and backed out of the room. She nodded to Chakwas on the way out. She dug into her pocket for her pack of cigarettes. She glanced over at Kaidan’s area again. He wasn’t there, though, so she continued. She took the elevator down to the Mako pit, lighting a cigarette on the way. A filthy habit, but one of the few things that calmed her down when stress levels rose. She had a feeling she would need to pick up a case the next chance she got. 

Garrus was elbow deep in the Mako engine when she walked up. He definitely had gotten the thing running better since he came on board. She despised the Mako, but it was unfortunately a necessary evil in this new life. He waved as she approached.

“How’s she looking, Garrus?” She took an extra long drag. 

“Pretty good considering the maneuver you pulled to get her past that rock formation.”

“I thought that was pretty impressive.”

“That’s one word for it I guess.”

“Would you rather have gone toe to toe with all those geth on foot?”

“I would rather have gone toe to toe with them with fewer bruises.”

“Fine. You drive next time, then.”

“I thought you’d never ask, to be honest.” Garrus grinned. “Hey can you hand me that wrench over there?”

Celeste wedged the cigarette between her lips and rifled through the nearby toolbox. She found the wrench and handed it over. “Doesn’t Alenko normally work on the Mako?”

“He does, but I asked if he’d let me take over the maintenance to have something to do.” Garrus furrowed his brow. “I wasn’t expecting him to agree to it but he seems much more cooperative with the aliens than Williams.”

“Williams has a rough family history with aliens. I think her attitude could definitely use an adjustment but I’m trying to give her a chance.”

“Respectable.”

“It’s more complicated than that but I doubt I have the right to go into details.”

“Oh, absolutely. I don’t mean to pry at all.” He tilted his head to look at her. “You look tired. After your cigarette, you should get some rest.”

“You’re probably right. Thanks, buddy.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“So this Major Kyle fellow was your CO during the siege of Torfan?” Ashley asked.

“Yeah. Apparently he has already killed two Alliance officials sent to investigate his compound. Brass is hoping that since he knows me, we might be able to get him to surrender. He’s put together a group of biotics and they’re hunkered down on Presrop.”

“Do you think he’ll listen to you?” Kaidan looked concerned.

“One way or another.” Celeste sneered. “I have no problem wiping out the whole compound if we have to and hopefully he’ll remember that. I don’t actually want to, obviously, but he doesn’t know that. I’m bringing you two since you’re both Alliance.”

“There’s a very real possibility he won’t be happy to see you, Shepard,” Kaidan said, concerned. She briefly raised an eyebrow at the informality but ignored it. Ashley’s eyes widened for a split second.

“I’m counting on that.”

The trio was silent heading into the Mako. Joker was going to drop them just outside of the compound and Celeste was hoping that the group wouldn’t be immediately hostile. When the Mako landed, she let Kaidan do the driving while she and Ashley manned the guns. 

Much to their relief, there was no activity outside as they drove up. Celeste pushed open the vehicle’s door. She frowned. “There’s absolutely no one outside. Friendly or not. Is anyone else concerned? Not even a guard.”

They cautiously exited and looked around. Celeste headed straight for the door of the nearest building and rang the buzzer. “Go away. Leave us in peace.”

“I need to talk to the man in charge,” she said firmly. “Now, please. He needs my help.”

“Father Kyle will see you. Head to the far building at the end of the compound.”

“We might be able to settle this peacefully after all.” Celeste motioned for them to follow her. As they walked over, her thoughts were going a mile a minute. She had never denied her actions on Torfan, but they had always been easy to talk about as some foreign thing totally detached from her. Even her nickname, “The Butcher of Torfan” was some distant joke that always echoed hollow when shouted at her. All of it now, though, was very real and staring her right in the face, with more lives depending on her. And it was very painfully possible that she would have to repeat her namesake.

Oh well. It was a job, just like Torfan had been.

They approached the building where the voice over the speaker had directed them. The lobby was full of people in ritualistic-looking robes that ignored them as they walked through. They worked their way back through a maze of rooms until they reached the very end of the building. Major Kyle shook his head as they approached him.

“I know you. The Butcher of Torfan. Why have you come here, Shepard? Why can’t you leave us alone?” Kyle tilted his head.

“You killed two Alliance officers.” Celeste pursed her lips.

“They came here speaking blasphemy. They tried to make me abandon my children. What was I supposed to do but protect my children?”

“It’s too late for them now. How are you supposed to help them now that the entire Alliance has it out for you? Do you think the Alliance will show them any mercy or see you all as outlaws?” She gestured to the door. “How does this end? It’s up to you this time.”

Kyle stared at her for a few moments. He glanced at both Kaidan and Ashley briefly, but his gaze returned to Celeste. “You’re right… I’ve endangered them, haven’t I?”

“Unfortunately.”

“I will come with you, Shepard. But if my children see you walking me out, they will not understand. They may become violent. Please- allow me one hour to talk to them, explain everything that I’ve done wrong. I will then go with you peacefully.”

Celeste blinked. She studied Kyle’s face- he seemed genuine, truly. Her gut told her to trust him. “Alright. One hour. Don’t make me regret this, or I will personally end you.”

“I thank you, Shepard.”

“I’ll send a ship to come pick you up. You better be waiting.” 

The trio turned and walked away. As they made their way back through the building, Kaidan altered his pace to match Celeste’s. He looked at her sideways. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Shepard.”

“‘Shepard, eh?” She smirked over at him.

“Errr… If I’m out of line, tell me.” His face flushed.

She smiled. “Let’s get back to the Normandy, shall we?”

“Of course.”


	2. The Gig is Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big inspiration for part of this chapter hit me when I was picking up my nephew from school- "Rose Tattoo" by Dropkick Murphys came on and I knew I had to incorporate it somehow.

“My god, is that you, Celeste?”

Celeste, Kaidan, and Wrex all spun around simultaneously. Celeste lit up when she saw the source of the voice. A handsome man with dark hair was leaning against a wall nearby. “Finch!”

Celeste ran up to Finch and gave him a bear hug. “Holy shit, Celeste, it’s been forever. How have you been? I’ve seen the news vids but they only say so much.”

“You know me, always getting into trouble. I just do it for the Alliance now. Well, the Council too.”

“Of course. You wouldn’t have it any other way, darling.” Finch grinned. “Hey, we should catch up sometime soon.”

“I’d like that! Very much! We’re on the Citadel for a few days.”

“Tomorrow? 8?” 

“It’s a date.” 

“I’ll meet you by the embassies’ rapid transit stop?”

“Perfect.” Celeste hugged him again. She turned to her friends. “Come on guys. You up for noodles? Let’s go to Zakera Cafe.”

“I could definitely go for some spicy noodles.” Joker cut into their comms.

“Joker, stop eavesdropping! But you’re welcome to meet us there. Bring the rest of the team if they want.”

“Right on, Commander.”

They walked to the nearest rapid transit stop and Celeste typed in the destination request. The headlights of a sporty red cab nearby flared on. “Oooh that one’s kinda sexy.”

Wrex climbed in awkwardly, and the cab dipped, almost tapping the floor. Kaidan followed, then held out a hand to help Celeste. She dropped down into the seat and put the cab into gear. Zakera Wards was about fifteen minutes away, and they rode mostly in silence, with the exception of Celeste. Kaidan was secretly glad that Shepard drove the cab better than she did the Mako- he still had a bruise on his knee from a particularly spectacular bounce on Rayingri, which she still blamed on Garrus’s Mako “calibrations”. Garrus, of course, insisted that the fault was in Shepard’s driving..

When they arrived at Zakera Ward, the team was waiting at the cafe. Tali and Garrus were eating some sort of greenish dextrose soup, and the rest of the team had noodle bowls of varying colors. Ash grinned up at them and pointed to two bowls next to her. “Commander, LT, I got your faves! Sorry, Wrex- I didn’t know what you like. I took a guess and got you the spicy beef noodles.”

“Did Ash just voluntarily buy an alien noodles?” Celeste muttered. Wrex chuckled, highly amused. He shuffled over and sat down directly next to her. Celeste grinned and squeezed in between Joker and Garrus. Joker elbowed her, harder than someone so fragile probably should.

“So, what’s this date tomorrow?” Joker asked, just loud enough for the whole group to hear. The team immediately fell silent at once.

“It’s not an ACTUAL date. It’s just a saying.” Celeste rolled her eyes. “It’s an old friend from my time in the gangs on Earth. Wasn’t expecting to run into him on the Citadel and I don’t expect to again, to be perfectly honest. Small world.”

“I keep forgetting you were a hooligan before you joined the Alliance,” Joker quipped. Celeste playfully slapped his arm.

“I wasn’t a hooligan,” she said. The team members with eyebrows or eyeridges all raised them. “Alright I wasn’t THAT much of a hooligan. I was just a punk-ass street orphan trying to get by with the help of some sketchy friends.”

“So who exactly is this friend?” Joker clearly wasn’t going to let this go.

“I was in the Tenth Street Reds with him back on Earth. Petty stuff. Pickpocketing, minor schemes, that sort of thing. Not like…. murder or anything.”

“Well that’s not very exciting.” Ash grinned. “Any good stories?”

“Well he did have a pretty good haul one time in a theater district. We came up with a scheme to fake purse snatching. We teamed up, Finch with our friend Shelly and this guy Curt with me. The men would pretend to steal our purses, and we would shout and scream and bring all sorts of attention. Then, assuming no one chased the men down, the women would pick the pockets of the people who rushed to our aid. We made a LOT of money that weekend. The downside was that on that Sunday, Curt had had a little too much to drink on our ‘break’ so he was slow running away. This little old lady nearby ran after him, took the purse back, and proceeded to beat him about the head with it. He had to act like there was actually anything in it so that the gig wouldn’t be up. His acting was so good, he should have been in one of the shows.” 

“That’s kind of terrible,” Liara piped up. Celeste stared straight at her and shoved noodles into her mouth. She didn’t blink until she swallowed her food.

“Liara, I’m talking about a story from when I was in a literal gang on Earth. We weren’t exactly doing charity work.” Celeste rolled her eyes in jest. Wrex snorted (or whatever the closest thing is that Krogan do.)

“Of course, Shepard. I forget that humans age differently than Asari. 12 years is a much larger period of time for you than us.”

“11! I’m only 29!” She quipped. “Don’t age me like that yet.”

“Oh,” Liara said sadly. “I know so little about humans. My research has been so focused on the Protheans that I miss some of the nuances of human culture.”

“You’re fine, Liara. I’m sorry I didn’t explain it better.” Celeste smiled. “Now enjoy your noodles.”

The team splintered into smaller groups while chit-chatting. Celeste didn’t notice Kaidan periodically staring at her, but Garrus did, regularly staring right back. Meanwhile, Joker had Celeste and Ash roaring with laughter with stories from his flight training. Celeste, Garrus, and Wrex all ordered second helpings of their noodles. Ash, Kaidan, Joker, and Wrex split off and went back to the Normandy. Tali tilted her head and it was obvious she was studying Celeste.

“Now that the person most likely to tease you about it is gone, what is really going on with this Finch person?” Tali leaned in closer to her.

“We were a thing at one point but that was ages ago. It’s just friends now.”

“Does Finch know that?” Garrus flexed his mandibles.

“Finch is a really smart guy. I’m quite sure he does.”

“Well be safe either way.” Garrus slurped the rest of his soup. “Come on, Tali. Let’s get back to the Normandy.”

“We should be getting too,” Celeste said. “I have some important messages I have to take care of while we’re on the Citadel.”

They stacked their bowls at the end of the table, and Celeste transferred some credits to tip their waitress. They requested a cab from one of the ones parked at the transit stop. Celeste let Garrus drive and climbed in back with Ash. The cab lurched forward and the three women all shouted at him. 

“Garrus, for someone who loves to complain about my driving, you also drive like shit,” Celeste grumbled. “We just ate, let’s not lose our lunches.”

“It’s not my fault! It’s an older cab!”

“Sure, Vakarian,” Ash spoke up. “Did your dog eat your homework, too?”

“...What?” 

“It’s a joke about a common excuse human kids use when they don’t do their homework for school.”

“Oh.” Garrus was obviously still confused. “But why would anyone believe that?”

“I doubt any teacher in the history of ever has fallen for it, honestly.” Celeste cackled. “Even the least intelligent humans would see through it.”

“Ugh, good. Otherwise I would second guess humans’ capabilities as a whole.”

“Turians are pretty good at that.” Ash definitely had a shitty undertone in her voice. Celeste glared at her with steel gray eyes.

“Williams, knock it off.”

“...Yes, Commander.”

The last few minutes of the cab went by in silence. Celeste was somewhat embarrassed about Ash’s behavior. Ash was truly a good person but she was going to have to shape up regarding working with aliens, and do it soon. Everyone on the Normandy had the same goal- catching Saren- and they were going to have to work together to make that happen. She was sure Ash would adjust quickly, though. 

The cap arrived at C-Sec and the four of them spilled out of it. They walked the short distance to the docking bay elevator. Ash let out a guttural sound. “Why exactly have they not put a transit stop in the actual docking bay. We get dirty looks every time we have to walk through here. Especially if Vakarian is with us.”

“They can get over it,” Celeste said. “Though I completely agree with you. This is just an unnecessary extra step. Plus the docking bay elevator has the worst elevator music.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

One of the equipment lockers by the med bay was malfunctioning AGAIN. Kaidan was determined to fix it before they left the citadel. He was pretty sure he just needed one small part to fix it. When he heard the door to Shepard’s quarters open, he turned to ask about filling out a requisition for it. He froze when he saw her. She’d changed into a form-fitting black tank top, leather pants, and knee-high combat boots. She’d let down the blonde hair normally piled on top of her head and it reached mid-way down her back. But what stood out most was the giant roses tattoo on her left shoulder and arm. He wasn’t sure why it was such a surprise since Shepard was very open about her non-traditional background. He knew he shouldn’t look at her like this and definitely shouldn’t stare. He shook it off as she disappeared up the stairs to the CIC. Besides, the locker actually needed his attention. Almost an hour passed with him frustratedly working on the locker, Garrus materialized beside him and startled him.

“What’re you working on, Alenko?” He tapped his fingers on the locker he was supposed to be working on.

“This locker’s acting up and I have to get it up and running for Shepard.”

“Good idea. Shepard needs her equipment running at its best. And her team.”

“Aww Garrus, are you trying to tell me I’m slacking?” Kaidan chuckled.

“No, but I’ve seen the way you look at her. She’s my best friend.” Garrus flared his mandibles. “So think long and hard about it before you make a decision.”

“She’s on a date tonight, anyway.”

“About that- does any of this seem off to you? Like feelings aside- does it feel like she’s walking into trouble?”

“Yeah but I figured that was clouded judgement on my part.”

“I’ll tell you what. We’re gonna suit up and go ashore. I don’t have clouded judgement and something about this reeks. I’d feel better if she had some backup nearby.” Garrus was clearly highly annoyed at the whole thing.

“Agreed. Let’s go.” The two men went up the short flight of stairs up to the CIC. A few crew members looked up briefly at them as they walked by on the way to the airlock but they ignored them. Garrus had already hauled their armor up to the airlock, and they quickly strapped into it, magnets and buckles clicking the only sound in the airlock before the door opened. As they walked out, Kaidan craned his neck to look up at the Turian. “Real talk, Garrus- what is this really about?”

“I got a tip from a friend in C-Sec. One of the friends from her story yesterday has been arrested for possible attempted murder. I think he’s going to play their old friendship trying to get Shepard to get their friend sprung. I’m not worried about Shepard, I’m worried what she’s going to do to him when she finds out he’s trying to use her.” They stepped out of the elevator and into the bustle of C-sec.

“Do you know for sure?” Kaidan glanced around. “Did your tip say anything about where they were going?”

“No, but I’m sure enough that we need to be there just in case.” Garrus frowned. “You have any ideas?”

“I mean, if I had to guess by what she was wearing, they’re going to Flux or Chora’s Den.”

“Uh…. okay. Let’s start there I guess.” He motioned for Kaidan to follow him to the rapid transit kiosk. “We’ll go to Flux first. I have a good feeling about it.”

They climbed into the cab. Kaidan had the weird feeling someone was watching them but when he looked back, he couldn’t see anyone that seemed out of place. Garrus pressed the button to close the vehicle doors and stomped on the accelerator. Kaidan braced himself against the door. “Geez, Garrus.”

“No time for finesse, Alenko.” Garrus narrowly ducked underneath a giant beam. 

“We can’t help Celeste if you kill us on the way to her!” Kaidan braced himself again as Garrus whipped around a slow-moving cab in front of them. Garrus guffawed.

“Oh it’s ‘Celeste’ now, is it? I thought even calling her by her last name was a no-no- we’re on first names now?”

“No… I shouldn’t have said that. There’s regs.”

“Listen, I don’t care what you call her as long as you have her back.” Garrus braked hard and lowered the cab onto the ground near the Flux stop. “Let’s get in there.”

When they hopped out, they could already hear the deep bass of the music in Flux. They walked up the stairs calmly. They did a quick scan of the first floor but Celeste was nowhere in sight. Garrus gestured to the upstairs area as he headed straight for the downstairs bar. Doran shook his head to himself when he saw the Turian approaching. He motioned to a bottle of his dextrose booze. Garrus shook his head. He scanned the crowd one more time and didn’t see Shepard anywhere.

He had a very bad feeling about this.

He sighed and looked out of the window at the hustle and bustle of the Citadel outside. There hadn’t been many chances to during his stint in C-Sec, which he had never really thought about. Shepard had remarked about it a few times, however, and he caught himself doing it more, even in places like Omega. Shepard called it “smelling the roses” and something about “the color purple.” Hell, half the time when they landed on a new planet, Shepard literally walked up to the first flowers they saw. It didn’t go great for her the one time, but most of the time it made her smile. Shepard hadn’t smiled much since her Spectre induction. 

Doran cleared his throat and Garrus realized that he had asked him a question. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Who are you here looking for? I didn’t do it, whatever it is.”

“I’m looking for Shepard. Have you seen her? She would have been here with a tall guy with dark brown hair named Finch.”

“Actually yes. They got a table about 45 minutes ago but left abruptly after about half an hour. I didn’t catch why they left but they both tipped us very well so I didn’t think anything of it.” Doran looked over nervously as Kaidan walked up to join Garrus in front of the bar. “Is she in some kind of trouble? More importantly am I in trouble?”

“Maybe and no.” Kaidan furrowed his brow in concern. “Garrus, I have a very bad feeling about this.”

“Me too.” Garrus sighed loudly. “Come on. Let’s check Chora’s Den.” 

Garrus glanced out the window one more time, then gestured for Kaidan to follow him. They nodded to the bouncer on the way out, who motioned for them to come over. “You guys looking for Shepard?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?” Kaidan asked.

“You might want to get to Chora’s Den. And fast. Something’s definitely about to go down.”

“Shit,” Garrus said. They thanked the bouncer, then ran out of the club and down the stairs. They turned off to the right and ducked through the crowd in the markets. Out of the corner of his eye, Kaidan caught a glimpse of that Conrad Vernor guy who was basically obsessed with Shepard. He was trying to get their attention but Kaidan just gave him a sort of half wave and they ducked through the door leading to the hallway outside of Chora’s Den. They turned the corner leading to the door just in time to see two separate customers fleeing. Garrus and Kaidan glanced at each other and then ran into the club. Kaidan’s eyes immediately fell on Celeste in what was obviously a showdown. She followed a Turian guard’s gaze and glared behind her at her friends. Cold steel grey eyes flashed with anger. She ignored them and turned back to the Turian guard and the man they recognized as Finch.

“It’s fine, Shepard. I’ll just make sure to let the word get out that you used to be associated with an anti-alien group. I’m sure the people would love to know that their beloved first human Spectre is problematic and anti-alien.”

“No one’s going to believe you, Finch. Especially since you’re the one trying to spring Curt, not me.” Celeste shifted her weight and subtly reached back slightly towards the pistol on her hip. “Besides, I’d like to point out that, as a Spectre, I can legally execute everyone in this bar, starting with you.”

“Well we’ll just have to see. You made your decision. Now I’m going to tell everyone.”  
Finch smirked.

“No, you’re not.” In one fluid motion, Celeste drew her pistol and shot Finch squarely between the eyes. His body paused for a moment before slumping to the floor. Just as quickly, she holstered the gun

“I can’t thank you enough, Shepard. I’m glad you saw through the bullshit on that one, and to know that Turian lives matter to a Spectre.” He held out his hand to shake Celeste’s and walked away. Celeste whirled around, furious. 

“I’m LIVID with you two right now. I don’t want to talk to either of you for a bit.” She walked between them, deliberately shoving them both out of her way angrily. 

“Shepard!” Kaidan shouted after her. She paused, then turned just enough to glare back at him. Her eyes were full of anger almost bordering on hatred. His words failed in his throat. She sneered and whirled back around, storming back out of the club. He looked at Garrus, who merely shrugged and gestured for them to leave. 

Both of them were completely silent all the way from Chora’s Den, to the rapid transit kiosk, to C-Sec, and all the way up to the airlock. They slowly unbuckled their armor, neither of them particularly looking forward to whatever maelstrom was waiting on board. 

“So which of us do you think is getting the worst in this?” Garrus shifted uncomfortably.

“Depends on whose idea she thinks this was, probably,” Kaidan grumbled. “Probably me though.”

The airlock door opened. As they stepped out of it, Celeste stormed out of the cockpit and past them. She was seething so intensely that they could almost feel it coming off of her in waves. They stopped dead in their tracks and waited until she was heading down the stairs. Garrus groaned.

“She’s going downstairs to shoot, isn’t she?” He asked. It was Kaidan’s turn to shrug. They collectively sighed and followed her. “You know, at least you don’t work on the same level as the shooting range.”

“No, I just work directly next to her quarters.”

“Oh, right…”

“I’ll go downstairs with you. Maybe she’ll take it a fraction easier on us if she only has to rage at us once.”

They stepped into the elevator nervously and rode down one floor. They could hear her pistol firing rapidly before they even stepped out. They stepped out and stopped when they saw her. Ash had helped set up ten targets at several varying distances and each one had two shots- one squarely through the chest and one in the middle of the forehead. She stood still for a moment, pulled her cigarettes out of her pocket, then looked over at Ash and Wrex. “Can you guys give me a minute?”

Ash and Wrex glanced at each other and awkwardly shuffled out of the cargo bay. Celeste turned around and lit a cigarette. She took a few drags in silence and looked up at them. She was very clearly still angry. She looked back and forth between them. 

“So which of you has no faith in me? Obviously one of you does. If I had needed or wanted your help. I WOULD HAVE ASKED,” she bellowed. “I’m not a fucking child that needs to be babysat.”

“It was my idea to follow you,” Garus spoke up. “Alenko tried to stop me but when I wouldn’t listen, he came along to make sure I didn’t fuck it up or shoot someone or something.”

Kaidan shifted his weight and lowered his eyes for a moment. Why had Garrus covered for them? It HAD been kind of his idea, but Kaidan also could have stopped him. Did Garrus think that Shepard would take it easier on him than Kaidan? He looked back up at Shepard’s face and could definitely tell that she definitely did not completely believe the story Garrus fed her. She was also still clearly fuming. She waved them away with the hand holding the cigarette. “Get the fuck out of my face and stay there for a while.”

She lifted her leg upward and put the cigarette out on the bottom of her boot. She glared at each of them one more time and stormed off back to the elevator. Kaidan glanced over at Garrus. “What was that?”

“You’ll see. I just did you a favor.”

“She didn’t believe anything you said for a second.”

“Oh, I know.”

“So why’d you say it?”

“Like I said, you’ll see.” Garrus looked over at the Mako. “I should double check everything on her before we go to Noveria this week. You should go up and finish working on that locker you were working on.”

“Yeah, I guess I should.” Kaidan looked down at his hands. “Let me know if you need me for anything for the Mako.”

Garrus waved him away with an almost identical gesture to the one Shepard had used on them. He nodded and ducked his head as he headed towards the elevator. He was startled to see Shepard still in the elevator. She was leaning against the back right corner with her arms crossed. Her frown didn’t budge when he stepped in. He stood closer to the left side and she snorted. 

“What, do you think I’m going to hurt you?” She sneered. 

“No,” he replied. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Yeah because the extra two feet would actually make a difference.” She punched the elevator button. “I want an honest fucking answer from you, do you understand me?”

“Yes, Commander.” He kept his gaze straight ahead. She pushed herself off of the wall and stepped in front of him. Those steely eyes were still sharp enough to cut into him, so he lowered his eyes to the rose tattoo he had noticed earlier. It stretched from her shoulder all the way down to her elbow. She noticed, of course, and scoffed.

“Is Garrus bullshitting me with that answer?” Her voice softened slightly. “And don’t try to butter me up.”

“He approached me about...something else...while I was working on your equipment locker. He was joking with me, and then I brought up your date… I mean, going onto the Citadel… and he brought up being uncomfortable with the whole thing. He said he’d gotten a tip from a C-Sec buddy saying that Finch was trying to pull something on you. I said I agreed, and agreed that we should go ashore to make sure everything went smoothly. I did not try to stop him.”

She crossed her arms. “And that’s the absolute truth? Not a single ounce of bullshit?”

“Not at all.”

“Fine.” She uncrossed her arms and left the elevator otherwise wordlessly. Kaidan stood there for a moment, confused.

He still had to fix her locker. And all he could see was that fucking rose tattoo.


	3. Kaidan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two are definitely going to happen... right?

Shepard didn’t take Garrus or Kaidan with her on missions for the rest of the week. She took Liara and Wrex onto Noveria for the initial visit. Apparently, the reception was chilly (no pun intended, she insisted). She made sure to keep discussion of the mission limited to Liara and Wrex as well. Kaidan heard murmurs about a Peak 15 and an issue with a garage, but if he got too close, the trio would look at him and stop talking. He tried to not let himself be embarrassed every time she glared at him, but he also noticed the glares had slightly softened since their exchange in the elevator. So when she stormed onboard, swearing and pacing, he was torn between steering clear and trying to talk to her. Joker beat him to it, though.

“What’s going on, Commander?”

“There’s a fucking blizzard that we have to drive through. And Beneziah’s secret cargo was a bunch of geth.”

“But she’s here, right?”

“Yes. She’s at Peak 15, which is having major issues. Tons of damage to the facility, and some sort of unknown organic enemy. On top of geth. At least we got the garage pass. Fucking finally.” She dug out a cigarette and lit it with obvious frustration. She rubbed her temples and growled. “Oh, and she has Asari commandos with her. This is all really just going great.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“I need you to be ready to get the fuck out of here the instant I tell you.”

“You got it, commander.”

“Also I have a feeling Beneziah isn’t going to let herself be taken into custody.” She took two long drags of her cigarette. “I hope Liara can convince her.”

“Shepard….” Kaidan piped up. She looked over at him unblinking as the smoke from the cigarette rose and swirled around her face.

“No.” She held up her hand and shook her head. She turned around and left the ship as quickly as she’d walked in. Kaidan looked behind him as Garrus walked up. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to suggest following her.” Kaidan half-joked.

“I have a different idea.” Garrus grinned.

“The last one didn’t go great, if I recall correctly.” 

“Okay, but hear me out.” Garrus put up his hands. “What if you buy her a gift?”

“A gift? You think she’s going to just magically get over this and not be angry anymore?”

“That’s why you buy her a badass gift.”

“Like what? A gun?”

“I mean, maybe. But I talked to that Hanar merchant and he has a rare set of Titan armor that’s the best damn light armor I’ve ever seen.”

“So you think I’m going to buy her new armor and she’s gonna be happy about this and stop glaring at us constantly?”

“Maybe.”

“Fine. Let’s go talk to the Hanar.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The shore party practically exploded through the airlock. Celeste craned her neck to shout into the cockpit. “Joker! Now!”

Joker spun his seat back around and punched in some controls. Celeste stepped fully out of the airlock, arm around Liara and walking her quickly towards the rear stairs. The crew gladly stayed out of her way as they made a beeline for the med bay. Kaidan and Garrus looked up as they rushed past the mess table. They glanced at each other, concerned, but looked back as the door closed behind the women.

“Did that look bad to you?” Kaidan asked.

“Very.” Garrus glanced over his shoulder as Shepard stormed back out of the med bay, pulling off pieces of armor as she crossed over to her quarters. He looked back at Kaidan. “I really hope this isn’t about to backfire on you.”

They heard a door slam, and muffled shouting. Garrus stood up quickly and walked away from the table. “You’re on your own, Alenko.”

As Garrus disappeared behind him, Shepard stepped out of her quarters dramatically. Her gaze immediately fell on Kaidan, and he braced for an outburst. She walked over to him and climbed up to sit cross-legged on the table in front of him. He slowly raised his eyes to look at her. She narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. “Armor?”

“...Yes.”

“You know that’s the top of the line Titan model, right?”

“Yeah…” He swallowed hard. “I figured it was better than following you again. It’s got better shields and everything.”

“It does.” She tapped her fingers on the table on either side of her. 

“I’m sorry if it was out of line. I knew just an ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t enough.”

“Stop.”

Kaidan sighed and looked down. Before he knew what was happening, She’d leaned over and put a knuckle under his chin. “Um….”

“You’re not out of line. I went nuclear and shouldn’t have.” She straightened up. “Don’t fuckin’ do it again though, okay? Come on, we gotta debrief.”

Kaidan stood and stepped back from the table. She slid off ungracefully and stumbled into him. He instinctively reached out to stop her and flinched in embarrassment when he accidentally caught her by the waist. He met her eyes and was surprised to notice a faint scar over her left eye. “What happened with your eye?”

“Oh this?” She raised a hand to it. “Bar fight back on Earth. Ages ago. Got hit with a broken bottle.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t lose an eye,” he said. 

“Me? The bitch who did this is lucky she didn’t lose both.” She winked and took a step back. She laughed at the horrified look on his face. “I’m kidding! I did fuck her up though. Wait… she might have wound up losing that eye, now that I think about it. There are two fights I mix up, to be honest. They were both a long time ago.”

“You are definitely an adventurous type aren’t you?”

“I mean I guess. I wish I was brainy like Liara. Far more interesting.” She frowned, with some genuine sadness behind her eyes. “But here I am, trying to save the galaxy or whatever.”

“I’ve always preferred adventurous women,” he said. His eyes immediately widened when he realized what he had said. She merely smirked and jerked her thumb in the direction of the stairs. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste rolled over and groaned like a dying animal. Another sinus infection, of course. She got one basically the same time every year, and it seemed like not even the urgency of hunting Saren would give her a break. Every part of her body ached and moving her head too quickly was making her stomach turn. She groped blindly in the direction of the communicator on her nightstand. She changed it to the channel she shared with Dr. Chakwas and sat up as much as her head would let her..

“Chakwas, I got another sinus infection. Please tell me you have something for me that’ll take less than a week.”

“Shepard, you sound terrible.” Chakwas sounded pretty concerned. “Alenko is here for one of his migraines. I’ll send him over with something for you.”

“No, not….” The channel shut off. “Great. This is great.”

She rolled back onto her back and almost gagged. She groaned again in frustration. It seemed like an eternity before she heard the timid knock. Definitely Alenko. “What?!”

“I have medicine from Dr Chakwas,” he said. He sounded confused.

“Oh.”

“.....Is it alright if I bring it in?”

Celeste rolled her eyes. She wasn’t in the mood to interact with anyone but she wasn’t sure she could make it to the door if she had him leave it there. “Fine.”

The door clicked open softly. The mess lighting cast his shadow onto her bed and the wall. She tilted her head to look at him. He held up a small bottle and shook it. “Sweet relief from the good doctor.”

“And my hero, bringing it to me.” She immediately rolled her eyes at herself. Good job, Celeste, she thought. Oh well. “We should get you a cape to wear.”

He walked over to the nightstand and put down the medicine. He hesitated a moment next to her. “Hey, let me know if you need anything else. I’m literally right outside.”

“Okay, but you can’t tell anyone I sound like a dying animal right now though. I have a reputation to uphold.” 

“Is there anything else we can do? Do you want some soup or something?”

“Oh you really are determined to be my hero, aren’t you?” She squinted her eyes and looked up at him. He leaned over to put a hand on her forehead- she was burning up. 

“You have a fever, it feels like.” He brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. “Take the medicine and I’ll check on you in a couple of hours. You might be able to sleep some of this off.”

“Yes, mother.” Her fever wasn’t keeping her from smirking or being a smartass. Kaidan shook his head at her. He left the room silently. She sighed and rolled her eyes at herself again. “Thank you.”


	4. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two are actually gonna happen. 
> 
> Fluffy chapter for Christmas.

Shepard ducked behind a shipping container. “Cover me, Alenko!”

Kaidan paused to let his pistol cool down, and threw a warp at the mercenary shooting at her. Shepard exhaled sharply. Wrex roared and charged into the enemy hoard, smashing his shotgun into a number of their faces. Kaidan turned his attention back to Shepard, who was frantically fumbling with her pistol. “What’s wrong, Shepard?”

“Gun’s overheated and won’t cool down!” She popped up to throw a warp at a particularly problematic asari. She took cover again and Kaidan could swear he saw fear in her eyes for the first time since this all began. She knocked on the side of the gun, to no avail. She shook her head at him and looked helplessly in the direction of the onslaught of mercs. 

“Don’t do it, Shepard!” He shook his head back at her. She shrugged, pointing towards the mercs. “Please…”

She stood up. She glowed bright blue as she unleashed a slew of biotic attacks. She managed to duck a few shots but then one caught her right shoulder. She winced and stumbled, but kept throwing attacks anyway. He watched in horror as a Turian merc slipped around some storage containers. Was that… 

VYRNNUS? What the fuck….

He walked up behind Shepard and grabbed her right arm. He twisted it behind her and pulled it up as far as it would go. She tried not to react visibly, but she couldn’t help but to cry out in pain. She turned around to face him to try to relieve the pain. Kaidan could swear Vyrnnus was smiling the whole time. He grabbed Shepard by the throat and began strangling her.

Wait.

Vyrnnus’s face slowly melted into a blurry spiral, becoming twisted up with Shepard’s. Kaidan woke up, drenched with sweat. “Celeste….”

He rolled out of bed and grabbed a t-shirt he’d thrown towards the foot of his bed. Right now he was incredibly grateful that he’d been given his own quarters aboard the Normandy. He’d rather not explain any of this to someone who might have overhead any noise he made. He poked his head out into the hallway. When he saw that no one was nearby, he padded out in the direction of Shepard’s quarters. He wasn’t sure why he had the compulsion to check on her, but he would feel better if he knew she was alright.

He knocked on her door softly. When she didn’t answer after a few moments, he knocked again, slightly louder.

“What?” He could tell he’d woken her up.

“It’s… Kaidan.”

“Um… okay? Come in I guess.” He cracked open her door. “In or out, Alenko.”

“In. I’m coming in.” He slipped into the room and closed the door behind him quietly. She sat up in bed. “This seemed like a much better idea before I walked over here.”

“You still haven’t told me what ‘this’ is.” She rubbed an eye and patted for him to sit down. “Is ‘this’ bad?”

“I had a nightmare…” He shifted uncomfortably. She blinked a few times, obviously still tired, then tilted her head. 

“Ah, the good old ‘I had a nightmare and the anxiety voices in the back of my head say I need to make sure the person is okay’ thing.” She smiled sadly. “I know that feeling. Remember my friend Shelly from my story about our gang heist? I had a nightmare about her dying horribly. Two days later, I found out that she had actually died horribly.” Ever since then, I follow up when I can. So I’m not going to judge you on this, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m morbidly curious though- what happened?”

“We were taking on a group of mercs. Vyrnnus randomly showed up and was hurting you, then started to try to kill you, and you looked scared for maybe the first time ever. That’s when I woke up.”

“Let me guess, he tried to break my arm? Like Rahna?”

Kaidan shifted his eyes away from her. “Um… yeah.”

“Kaidan, I’m not judging you. Pinky promise.” Her face softened. She pushed her hair behind her ears and raised a finger to trace his jawline. “When someone’s special things like this rattle you.”

“Special, huh?” Kaidan raised an eyebrow. Shepard flushed a little.

“I… sorry. I… assumed too much.” She stammered. “That’s awkward.”

“No, you’re fine.” He grabbed her hand gently and intertwined their fingers.

“I mean, there are regs… and I can’t ask you to put yourself in that position.”

“When this is over, Shepard.”

“Please… when it’s just us you can call me Celeste.” She squeezed his hand. “If you’re sure about this.”

“This is the most sure I’ve been about something in a long time.” He kissed the back of her hand. 

“Same, honestly.” She pulled him towards her and giggled. He managed to catch himself with a hand on either side of her. He flushed bright red. 

“Shep-... Celeste…” He leaned in towards her, close enough that she could feel the heat from him blushing.

“Are you going to kiss me or not?” She smirked at him. He ran a hand into her hair and gently pulled her head back. He kissed her gently as she ran a hand up his back. They were both startled when Joker’s voice sounded from the comm over her desk.

“Commander, the Alliance needs you. You know, again.”

“Fuck,” she mouthed silently. She kissed him back roughly. “I suppose we should go be heroes, shouldn’t we?”

“Probably.” He smiled at her and stood up to leave. “Let me know when you need me, Celeste.”

“You bet.” She winked at him as he let himself out of her room quietly. When the door clicked shut, she fell back on her pillows. “Well, shit, Ella. This wasn’t part of the plan.”


	5. Closer

Ashley impatiently tapped her fingers on one of the tables in her work station. The Commander, LT, and T’Soni had gone after a lead on a missing Admiral and definitely should have been back by now. The Commander could definitely handle a group of rogue scientists, or at least Ashley thought. She tried not to think of a thousand things that might have gone wrong. Shepard had saved her ass on Eden Prime based off of a gut feeling despite her reputation for being a cold-hearted hardass. She’d noticed that Shepard had been just the slightest bit softer at times recently but Ashley had no idea why. She wasn’t particularly upset by it, to be honest. 

She looked over at Vakarian and noticed he seemed anxious as well. Wrex seemed his same grumpy self and probably didn’t even notice anything was different until about five minutes into her tapping her fingers. He narrowed his eyes at her, and she stopped. All three of the crewmates on that level stopped in their tracks when they heard commotion upstairs. They ran for the elevator.

Meanwhile, Kaidan had just come crashing through the airlock, carrying a barely conscious Shepard. She was muttering something unintelligible and Kaidan looked terrified. He rushed in the direction of Chakwas’s office, leaving a trail of blood behind them.

“LT, what the hell happened?” Ashley asked with wide eyes. Kaidan shook his head at her.

Kaidan really was actually terrified. Celeste had taken multiple attacks from a rachni that had been held in captivity for Cerberus testing. It had managed to get through a vulnerability in the right underarm of her armor and she was in and out of consciousness. When he managed to understand anything she said, it sounded like she was asking him to put her down, which he refused to do. He would be damned if he put her down or left her. He shifted her to go down the stairs and she yelped in pain.

“Celeste, I’m sorry. Stay with us, please!”

“Kai… stay with me... “ She raised her good arm to cling to him. He had a brief flash of memory of the tattoo under the armor. He charged through the mess area and into the med bay. Chakwas lept into action, prepping one of the beds.

“Alenko, help me get her out of her armor!” She barked at him. He hesitated for a moment, embarrassed that he could feel his face starting to flush, but then set to work. He was secretly thankful that Garrus had had the idea to pick up the new armor for her as a gift. It was probable that the better armor made the difference in her condition. He and Chakwas worked quickly, and had her armor off in a matter of minutes. Kaidan’s face got even redder when he noticed she was wearing an athletic tank top underneath the armor. Not thinking, he ran a finger down her arm, tracing the tattoo. This seemed to give her a brief moment of clarity, and she looked up at him directly.

“Please stay with me…”

“I have to get out of Chakwas’s way.”

“Well then it’s an order. Chakwas, let him stay here. You’ll need help keeping others out of here.” Her eyes fluttered and then closed. Kaidan looked up at Chakwas nervously.

“What? You heard her.” Chakwas frowned. “Are you really going to defy a direct order?”

“No, I guess not.” He shifted uncomfortably. “At least let me help you.”

“Stand there and keep an eye on her. Let me know if anything seems wrong besides this bleeding, alright?”

Kaidan reached down and put his hand over Celeste’s. He’d give anything in this moment to change places with her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The first thing Celeste noticed when she woke up was the sheer pain on the right side of her ribs. She tried to lift her arm and felt like she was being stabbed. The second thing she noticed in the dark was a dark figure slumped over the side of her bed. She recognized the smell of Kaidan’s aftershave almost immediately and sighed. 

“Kaidan….” She nudged him with her leg. “Hey, I’m awake.”

He stirred and sat up, bleary-eyed. She heard him inhale sharply and he rolled the chair backwards to turn on her desk lamp. He looked back at her with an expression she couldn’t quite place. He rolled back to the side of her bed and pushed hair out of her face. “I was starting to think you might not wake up. And I’ve had to beat the rest of the team away with a stick.”

“How long have I been out?” She shifted herself slightly with her right arm and whimpered in pain.

“About five days.”

“FIVE days? How long have you been here?”

“The whole time. You gave me a direct order to stay with you before you passed out.”

“I did?”

“Yeah you ordered Chakwas and me,” he said. 

“Oh.” She frowned. Kaidan felt a pang of guilt. Celeste shifted again and realized her hair had been braided to the left. “What the… I know my hair wasn’t like this when we came back.”

“Oh, Chakwas kept complaining your hair was getting in the way so I braided it.” Even in the dim light, Celeste’s hair was a bright blonde against her dark nightshirt.

“Ah. So were you also the one who changed my clothes?” 

“No. Chakwas wanted me to help but it didn’t seem right. I got Ashley to help her.”

“What a gentleman.” She smirked at him. “Though, if I’m ever in that situation again. I’d rather you helped when asked rather than waste time to find someone else to do it. Though hopefully this all works out and we’ll save the galaxy and you’ll see me before you get put in that situation again. Come on, help me sit up.”

She laughed warmly at him as his face turned bright red. A good part of her felt a particular joy in doing it to him, but she’d never admit it to him. It’d been a while since anyone looked at her so genuinely. She’d had plenty of casual encounters (maybe more than she should admit) and the occasional boyfriend and/or girlfriend but never anything serious. Although, for all she knew, this wasn’t going to go anywhere. She knew Kaidan was nervous about regs and she couldn’t blame him at all. She knew that most days she walked a fine line between what was acceptable behavior and was not. Being a Spectre at least bought her some leeway. In this moment, though, she had a faint glimmer of hope that this wouldn’t be short-lived.

Who was she kidding, though?

At least a little bit of this would be nice. If it didn’t work out, the ship was plenty big enough to mostly avoid him, and she had no doubt he wouldn’t waver in a combat situation regardless of the status of whatever relationship they would have (or not have).

“I should go tell Chakwas that you’re awake.” He started to stand up. Her hand darted out to grab his arm.

“Not yet,” she blurted. “She doesn’t need to know yet.”

“If she sees me leave, she’ll know.”

“So don’t leave yet.” Kaidan was surprised to see her look sort of vulnerable. “Keep me from rolling over on that arm or something.”

“Wait so you want me to sleep in here?”

“Yeah.. I mean, if you want. It’s been a long time since I slept next to someone but I promise I won’t make it weird. You can tell Chakwas tomorrow morning that I’m awake.” She shifted her weight slightly. She patted the bed. “If you’re not going to help me sit up then get down here with me.”

Kaidan paused. His gut reaction was to immediately climb into bed next to her. He wished he could do that every night, honestly. Even sleeping next to her slumped over on her bed had been somehow more peaceful than he’d slept in over a decade. Something in her eyes compelled him and he circled the bed. He climbed in next to her, immediately greeted by the warmth underneath the covers. She grabbed him by the front of the shirt and pulled him down to kiss him. He initially tensed up, afraid of possibly injuring her side. “Celeste, I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Oh you could never hurt me.” Her eyes widened. “I mean I hope not.”

He settled down beside her. She smiled faintly and rolled over onto her left side. She reached behind her to slip her hand down to grab his. She pulled his arm over her waist. He inhaled sharply when she let go and nervously rested his hand on her stomach. They were both asleep in a matter of minutes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste was in rare form. She was going ashore for a sort of night off with Kaidan and Garrus in a newer club on the Citadel, technically looking for information on supposed red sand dealings. Quite frankly, Celeste was there as bait while Kaidan and Garrus watched for any suspicious behavior, like attempts to drug drinks. Celeste was definitely down for what was basically a night of shore leave. The plan was to stagger their arrival, since the three walking in together would set off alarm bells in even the daftest suspect. Kaidan and Garrus were posted by the airlock, waiting for word to come from Celeste when it was time for them to join her. Garrus was wearing a simple tunic and trousers, while Kaidan had gone with an edgier look- he’d dug out his old leather jacket and was paired it with a basic olive shirt, mid-calf combat boots, and grey pocketed engineer’s pants. It had been ages since he’d dressed like this for any reason and it made him mildly uncomfortable. He had to be honest, if Celeste was going to be dressed anything like the last time she went ashore casually, he would definitely not be upset. 

Garrus had noticed his discomfort and nudged him in the ribs. “She’s going to be fine, Alenko. She’s been cleared by Chakwas.”

“I know. I worry. It’s stupid though.”

“Not stupid at all.”

“You guys are cleared to come join me.” Celeste’s voice cut in over the comms. What was strange was the voice in the background.

“Oh my god, ELLA!” another woman’s voice was barely audible. 

“Lana!” The comms went quiet. Kaidan and Garrus looked at each other, confused.

“Time to go I guess.”

The walk to the club was mostly casual. As much as Kaidan wanted to run to Celeste, see her, maybe even dance with her, he couldn’t. Not yet anyway. As they approached the long line outside, the bouncer, who was a plant, waved them in. There were several cries of upset customers in the line and Garrus couldn’t help but smile a little. 

The music was loud inside- even louder than in Flux. It was also darker, with elaborate lighting pulsing along with the music. They searched the crowd and eventually found Celeste. Kaidan’s jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw her. She’d forgone her previous tank top and leather pants for a tight bubblegum pink leather dress that showed off her tattoo, dramatic makeup, and very high black heels. Her hair was braided and piled on top of her head, and stood out even in the club lighting. She was dancing with a petite woman with bright copper hair in a short green dress. Their hands were on each others’ waists and it occurred to Kaidan that this was probably the Lana they heard over the comms, and that the two of them were very close. His gut reaction was confirmed when Celeste leaned in close to kiss her. 

Garrus nudged Kaidan again, and they walked to a nearby table. Garrus hailed down a waitress and Kaidan turned his attention back to Celeste and (maybe) Lana. The two women were definitely close, and Celeste was smiling broader than he had seen her do so in a while. He was increasingly curious about this mystery woman.

Celeste and Lana finished out the song and walked over to the nearby bar. He was guessing that they were catching up judging by how Celeste liked to talk with her hands when she was telling a story. Lana, however, had noticed Kaidan staring and was clearly sizing him up. She leaned in to say something to Celeste and pointed at him. Celeste laughed but didn’t look back initially. When Lana clearly put some emphasis on whatever she was saying, Celeste finally did look back, she froze when she saw him. She wasn’t subtle as she looked him over before turning around back to Lana. Lana kept staring him down as Celeste told her something and laughed. Kaidan suddenly felt incredibly insecure and looked away from them. He looked up briefly as their waitress returned with the drinks Garrus had ordered for them. He absentmindedly fiddled with his drink and turned his attention back to the women, who had returned to the dance floor together with their drinks in hand.

He realized he was incredibly jealous and scowled to himself. Why had he ever expected Celeste to not be flirty with anyone else? She had such an eventful background- there was no way she didn’t have a plethora of attractive people she could call on at any given time. What did he have to offer? He could barely even touch her without turning red or worrying about regs. This woman had Celeste gyrating against her as if they weren’t in public. He could feel Garrus shifting his weight in annoyance with him.

“What now Alenko?”

“Nothing, I… I’m just being foolish.”

“I’m going to be blunt here, so bear with me. Why don’t you just go over and cut in?”

“Why would I do that?” Kaidan gestured in the women’s direction. “She’s having a better time with her. How am I supposed to stack up with her?”

“For fuck’s sake, Kaidan.” Garrus rolled his eyes. “I’m gonna ask to not go on missions with you anymore if this is going to be a regular thing.”

“Sorry, Garrus.” Kaidan pretended to laugh it off. “This place is much better than Flux, I think.”

“Oh, totally.” Garrus gestured in the direction of Celeste and Lana. When Kaidan looked up, the two women were walking over to them. Celeste’s gaze was firmly set on Kaidan and she was not being at all subtle. Lana had a shit-eating grin like she knew a funny story he didn’t.

“Good to see you two!” Celeste beamed, still staring at Kaidan. “This is Lana, an ex-girlfriend of mine from my Earth days. I can’t believe I ran into her here.”

“It feels like it was just yesterday though!” Lana kissed Celeste on the cheek. “It’s a shame I can’t see Ella more often. But you’re off saving the galaxy with, dare I say, a rather good-looking crew. Who wants shots? On me.”

“Yes!” Celeste grinned. As Lana walked towards the bar, Celeste turned her attention to Kaidan and stepped closer to him. “So what’s wrong with you?”

Garrus flared his mandibles. “I’m going to talk to the bartender and see if he has any leads.”

Celeste nodded at him as he walked away and turned her attention back to Kaidan. She stepped even closer to him, letting her hip graze his hand. “Are you going to do this every time someone from my past shows up?”

“What?” He resisted putting his hand on her waist. 

“Just because someone from my past shows up doesn’t mean I’m going to run off and fuck them again. Are you really going to be like this?”

“I just assumed… the way you were dancing with her…”

“Yes because I’m happy to see her and I like dancing. You’re barely even able to touch me, and I happen to be a physical type of person.” She put her hands on his hips and pulled him closer to her. “I’m not going to step out on you just because I’ve dated a pretty girl, so you need to get over that. I am here with you and I will always be as long as you let me, do you understand?”

“Wait, you’re willing to do that?” He felt his ears reddening. She pressed up against him fully and smiled suggestively. “Are you drunk?”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” She ran her hands up his chest underneath his jacket. “In front of everyone, letting them know who I belong to…”

Kaidan impulsively wrapped his arms around her, one on the center of her back and the other one on the curve of her ass. He kissed her aggressively and she practically melted against him. He looked up from her just in time to see a man walk by and slip something into one of the drinks on the table. As if she had eyes on the back of her head and had not been drinking at all, in one fluid motion Celeste broke out of his grip, turned around, grabbed the man by the hair and smashed his face into the table. Garrus materialized from his conversation with the bartender with the C-Sec officer they had planted as the bouncer right behind him. They hauled the man away and Celeste turned back to Kaidan. 

“How’s that for adventurous?” She leaned back against him. “Looks like work is done for the night…”

Lana came back with two rounds of shots. Kaidan shook his head when she offered But Celeste turned around.

“Ella! It’s on us to finish these, I guess.”

“Fuck yeah!” They clinked their shotglasses together and downed the shots pretty quickly. Lana slammed down her last shotglass and gently smacked Celeste’s arm. 

“Ella look. She’s so pretty. I think I’m drunk enough to go hit on her.”

“You totally should!” Celeste turned back to Kaidan. She wrapped her arms around his neck as Lana practically charged at the woman. “And you should dance with me.”


	6. Honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan's proving to be honorable, regardless of what Celeste does

Celeste managed to keep her composure until she and Kaidan got back to the ship. The second the door closed behind them, she pushed Kaidan against the wall and kissed him roughly. He spread his hand on her back, pulling her as close as he could. When the second door opened, she sprung away like a startled cat. She winked at him and headed out and towards her quarters. She stumbled slightly as she passed the galaxy map but otherwise showed no outer signs of how drunk he was pretty sure she was. Lana and Celeste had wound up doing a total of eight rounds of shots, with Lana indeed flirting with the woman she had pointed out to them and eventually leaving with her. Celeste, on the other hand, had managed to convince Kaidan to dance with her. They’d danced for the better part of an hour, with Celeste mostly behaving but with a look on her face that he’d never seen from her before. She’d kept at least one hand on him the entire time. She was clearly a fan of the outfit, constantly eyeing him up and down while with a drink in hand.

He definitely enjoyed the attention. He obviously enjoyed attention from her anyway, but her makeup only made her eyes brighter, made them more piercing, and accentuated whatever look this was. It was almost primal, from an earlier time where she undoubtedly took whatever or whoever she wanted, and when she wanted.

He was concerned about how drunk she might be, though. She’d had a LOT to drink. She obviously had a high tolerance but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t get sick or do something foolish. When he stepped out of the airlock, Joker cackled.

“What, Joker?” Kaidan asked, annoyed.

“You have lipstick on your face.” Joker grinned. He turned back around to face the Normandy controls as Kaidan scurried back towards the stairs and down to the level where Celeste’s quarters were. He felt Garrus watching him as he quietly crossed the hall to her room and let himself in. Inside, she was seated at her desk, shoes kicked off next to her bed and hair let down. She’d poured another drink and was thumbing through some paperwork. She looked up as he came in and stood up.

“I didn’t know you could dance like that, Kaidan.”

“To be fair, neither did I.” He stepped closer to her. She closed the gap between them and ran her hands up his chest. The look he’d seen on her face in the club was back. He definitely didn’t mind. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.” She hiccuped and scowled. “Why?”

“Just asking.” He put his hands on her waist.

“I mean I could be better. But the view is more than I could ask for. How do I get you to wear this more often?”

“You really like it that much?”

“I thought I’d made that obvious.” She raked her nails down his chest gently. He tightened his grip on her waist.

“Well the feeling is mutual. Though I’m a little surprised at the pink.”

“Believe it or not, pink is my favorite color.”

“That’s very... uh...“

“Feminine for a badass?”

“I was thinking that it looks incredible but yes, that, too.”

“Is this where you give me the terrible line that it would look better on the floor? Because I’ve totally used that line before and it worked.”

“I would absolutely love that but you’re too drunk.”

“Am not.”

“You realize you had more to drink than a normal person AND you did it without passing out or getting sick.”

“Yes and I am fine.”

“Maybe. But I don’t feel right asking you to do anything right now.”

“Ugh. Why do you have to go all noble on me?” She frowned. “I was quite frankly hoping we’d fuck until neither of us could walk.”

“I… ugh… I mean…” Kaidan closed his eyes and shook his head. “That sounds amazing but I don’t want it to be when you don’t remember it.”

“But I….” Her eyes widened. “Yep you’re right, gonna be sick.”

She pushed past him and ran to her bathroom. Seconds later he heard the unmistakable sound of her throwing up. He grabbed a hair tie from her desk and followed her in. She glanced up as he came in. He held up the hair tie and grinned. She rolled her eyes. He walked over and gently pulled her hair back, tying it up. “You know, you should probably get out of that dress before you get something on it. Do you have your pajamas out somewhere?”

“See I knew you’d try to get me naked.” She smirked. “They’re on top of my nightstand. And I’m kidding about the naked thing. Though if you wanna walk around naked I will definitely be okay with that.”

Kaidan smiled down at her. Even hunched over a toilet vomiting, he’d rather be in this room with her than anywhere. He slipped out into her room and saw the pajamas on her nightstand. When he picked them up, a folded photo fell from the nightstand to the floor. He was mildly embarrassed to see that Celeste had a photo of him so close to her. He folded it again and gently put it back on the nightstand. When he turned around, Celeste was watching him, brushing her teeth and very highly amused.

“Ah, yes. I’d forgotten about that.” Was she… blushing? He walked her pajamas over to her. “I gotha thpit, hold onf”

She ducked back into the bathroom to spit out her toothpaste. He stood in the doorway, holding her clothes. She rinsed out her mouth and looked at him in the mirror. 

“Is it alright if I bunk here tonight even if we just sleep?” 

“You better, if you’re so worried about me. She grinned. “This is going to be awkward but I’m apparently not healed well enough to get my zipper. Can you give me a hand? I promise this is not me trying to be perverted. Give me my nightshirt and I can slip it on real quick.”

“I guess.” He handed her her pajamas. He took the hair tie out of her hair and pushed it over her shoulder. He looked down at the zipper of the dress at the nape of her neck. He inhaled sharply.

She smelled like roses. He didn’t know why he didn’t notice earlier.

He put his hands on her shoulders and looked back at her in the mirror. She was looking down at the sink and had a hand pressed to the bust of her dress to keep it in place. He exhaled, breathing on the back of her neck as he moved a hand to the zipper and gently pulled it down. He ran his fingertips down the skin of her back from neck to waist. He pushed the dress down over her shoulders. He looked back up and made eye contact with her. “I’m sorry, that was inappropriate.”

“You’re fine. You know I’m fine with you doing even more than this but you’re being so gallant.” She put down her shorts. He looked away as she pulled the shirt over her head. He heard her drop the dress and get into her shorts. “You can look again.”

He turned back around. She was putting up her hair and gave him a goofy smile. She pointed to her room. He stood back in the doorway as she brushed past him. He followed her.

“You still have lipstick on your face, by the way.” She picked up a pack of makeup wipes and started scrubbing off the heavy makeup. “Would have liked to leave lipstick in other places too but we can do that another time.”

“Other places?… oh.” He blushed bright red. 

“Pink might not be your color. Maybe I’ll wear red for you.” She climbed into bed and patted the bed next to her. When he climbed in next to her, she gently wiped off the lipstick. “I promise.”

When Kaidan stirred awake hours later, Celeste was spread out on his chest with a hand up his shirt. He also found it adorable that she snored ever so slightly. He put his hand on her back and sighed happily. It was foolish to imagine this as any sort of normalcy- Celeste was currently the most famous human woman in the galaxy and also didn’t strike him as the marrying type. 

‘Slow down, Kaidan,’ he thought. 

She stirred on his chest. She opened her eyes and looked up at his face. She was definitely hung over. She furrowed her brow. “Um… did we…?”

“No. I helped you take off your dress and got a little inappropriately handsy but that was all. And you promised you’d leave red lipstick on my face next time. And…. other places…”

“Oooh I look better in red, anyway. I bet you will too.” She pushed herself up with a hand on each side of him. “Thank you for not letting me jump your bones last night. I definitely want to remember the first time with absurd clarity. Every detail.”

“I don’t think I could ever forget you in that dress,” he whispered. “And I would never want to.”

“Ugh you’re such a romantic.” She shook her head. “I’m not used to that.”

“That’s a shame.” He reached up and pulled her down back onto his chest. “Just a few more minutes. I mean I know ‘no’ is the right answer for that but it would be nice.”

“Well it’s going to be a few hours before we’re there so we have some time.” She laid her head on his chest. “We should probably shower at some point though. I reek of nightclub.”

“And roses….”

“Yeah there’s an asari on the Citadel that has a little shop that sells things like crystals and oils. She has the best rose one. You put a drop on a few pulse points and it lasts all day.” She sighed. “She has great little soaps too. I like her rose one and her peppermint. There’s a eucalyptus mint one that’s really nice, too.” 

They remained that way for a few more minutes. Neither wanted to move. Kaidan stroked the back of her head. “You feeling better?”

“Always do with you around.” She turned her head to look at him. “You know, it’s going to be awfully hard for me to maintain my reputation as a badass bar brawler if I’m constantly making doe eyes at you.”

“After this is all over, you’ll have plenty of time for doe eyes.” 

“Among other things.”


	7. Feros

Tali had agreed to play chess with Ashley while Shepard was ashore on Feros with Wrex and LT. She hadn’t quite learned the rules, but it was a fascinating game from what she could tell. She could also tell that Ashley was incredibly agitated. She guessed it was Shepard being gone, again longer than it should have taken. And the fact that Shepard wasn’t really utilizing Ashley probably wasn’t helping. She was mainly only taking her to deal with Cerberus issues, then taking LT, Wrex, or Garrus for the heavy-hitting missions. She knew it was probably because of their tech and biotic skills, where Ashley was a charge-in-and-shoot-everything kind of gal. Shepard had actually been increasingly kind to her after she and Ashley had talked about her father and their love of poetry. It occurred to her that Shepard never got to have a parental relationship, and could sympathize with losing a parent. Ashley had also been trying to be more civil to the aliens onboard. She’d actually genuinely grown to like Tali- she could respect the quarian’s goal of doing good to benefit her family, benefit the flotilla. Tali was an incredible combination of kindness and badassery, too. She put her foot down when needed but never had a cross word otherwise. She wasn’t passive by any means, but Ashley knew she was much more abrasive than Tali.

Tali was also proving to be a pretty damn good strategist considering she was still learning the game. She hadn’t beaten Ashley yet, but was definitely making Ash sweat more than she expected.

Meanwhile, Shepard, Kaidan, and Wrex were having a hell of a time ashore on Feros. Things had gotten complicated, and gotten there fast. Geth were everywhere- the skybridge was so littered with them that they’d resorted to just plowing over them in the Mako to save time and aggravation. They’d managed to sabotage the geth ship at least. Celeste took a deep breath and redid her hair quickly in the Mako on the way back to the colony. Joker had some unfortunate information, though.

“Commander! Do you read me?” He sounded panicked. “This is the Normandy, do you read me?”

“We hear you, Joker. What the hell has you so worked up?”

“The colonists from Zhu’s Hope went crazy and they’re trying to claw their way into the ship.”

“Must be because of the Thorian,” Wrex offered. “That’s gonna be great.”

“The colonists must be reacting to something the Thorian is doing,” Kaidan said. “Didn’t you get those special grenades to use on them?”

“Yes, but I’m not taking any chances. If the gas somehow doesn’t work, the mission comes first.” Celeste clenched her jaw. She closed her eyes and exhaled dramatically. This was going to go badly. She’d been there before. She didn’t share Kaidan’s optimism, unfortunately. Chasing down Saren was going to change him. Hopefully, not too much.

“I’m with Shepard,” Wrex said. “Especially if they’re out to damage the Normandy.”

“That’s true, we do kinda need the ship.” Celeste nodded. Kaidan frowned intensely. She gestured to the garage door. “Drive in.”

They drove the Mako into the garage slowly. Celeste peered out the side window and saw three colonists waiting behind barriers with weapons ready. She glanced over at Kaidan before jumping out of the vehicle. She lobbed a gas grenade at them and charged towards the door leading to the colony itself. She threw another grenade towards the colonists barricaded on the other side but the gas didn’t seem to work. She growled in frustration and put them down easily. The trio worked their way around the colony to a door control on the opposite side. The gas wasn’t as effective as Kaidan had hoped, and they wound up only being able to spare seven of the colonists. Celeste was completely unphased as she walked up to the controls and smashed the button. A nearby door that looked like part of the colony walls lifted to reveal a tunnel underneath.

“Oh, great.” She rolled her eyes. “Let’s go.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Fai Dan approaching them, hunched over and walking oddly. “Shepard…”

“Fai? What is wrong with you?”

“It… wants me… to kill you. Pain… overwhelming… Please, take care of it… I cannot…” He struggled to raise the pistol to his head. “Good luck.”

Celeste barely flinched as Fai shot himself in the head. Kaidan gasped and Wrex made his usual dissatisfied grunt. Celeste picked him up under the armpits and pulled him over to a stable part of the wall. She sat him up and put his hands in his lap. When she saw the others watching her, she shrugged. “The colonists still alive will eventually be released from the Thorian’s control and they don’t need to see him splayed out like trash. It’s a simple gift to give them something more easily digested.”

She turned and walked down the steps leading to a tunnel. Kaidan and Wrex hesitated a moment before following her. None of them saw any immediate threats until they walked out into a giant open room with a giant plant that had to be the Thorian. It had as sort of face, or at leat the closest thing a plant could have. It shook wildly and then spit out an asari… whose skin was green for some reason. She stood and shook her head at them.

“The Thorian will not talk to any meat bags. The one before you betrayed the Thorian even though he agreed not to.”

“Wait, what?” Celeste asked. “What one before us? Saren?”

“The Thorian absorbed the knowledge of the Protheans. Saren agreed to give me to the Thorian in exchange for that knowledge, then attacked the Thorian so that it could not give that knowledge to you. I must stop you for it.”

“That’s great.” Celeste shook her head. “This is fine. This is all really great and fine.”

She drew her pistol and shot the asari point blank in the chest. She sighed in annoyance and followed the hallway leading away from the corpse. She made quick work of a number of creepers as Kaidan and Wrex rushed to catch up with her. They easily cut through the waiting creepers, throwing as many off the walkways as possible. Another asari clone was spit out and hurled a warp at Celeste but she easily ducked and returned the favor. They put her down easily and continued to work their way up through the crumbling hallways. Celeste noticed that shooting odd nodules on the walls was weakening the Thorian’s rip on the walls- at least that was working out well for them. One last nodule shot out, and the Thorian fell down into the abyss underneath it, roaring on the way down. 

“At least that’s over with,” Wrex grunted. Celeste turned to respond and caught sight of another asari coming out of a sac… but this one was purple.

“Umm… Can I help you?” She asked. She glanced between her two companions.

“My name is Shiala… I served Matriarch Benezia.”

“Oh boy.” Celeste rubbed her temples. “Benezia is dead. Why shouldn’t I kill you right here?”

“I do not wish to do you any harm. Saren knew you would follow him. He came to get the Cipher to understand the vision from the Prothean Beacon. He exchanged me for the Cipher, then attacked the Thorian even though he said he would not. He does not want you to get the Cipher, but I can give it to you.”

“Do I need the Cipher?”

“It will help you find the Conduit.”

“Alright sounds good.” She shrugged. “Let’s do it.”

Shiala seemed mildly surprised at her enthusiasm. Kaidan was incredibly uneasy. “Are you sure this is a good idea, Shepard?”

“I mean, it’s not the worst idea I’ve had since this all started.” She nodded at Shiala. “Let’s get this over with.”

“I need you to relax. Try to clear your mind.” Celeste closed her eyes. Shiala closed hers as well, reaching out to project what she knew. Celeste saw the same sequence replaying in her mind, but it somehow felt different. She could tell she knew something new, but not what it was. Maybe Liara would be able to help.

Shiala ended their connection, and Celeste fell to her knees. Kaidan offered her his hand and helped her get to her feet slowly. She stumbled for a moment, falling into him but not looking at him. “Thank you, Shala. Now what am I going to have to do to you?”

“If you’ll let me, I would like to help the colony. I have been a part of what happened to them. I’d like to atone for it.”

“Fine.” Celeste waved her away. “Let’s go.”


	8. Celeste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They can't wait anymore, especially not Kaidan. Everyone has a breaking point.

Celeste rarely chain-smoked. But if she had that goddamn vision from the beacon as a nightmare one more time, her packs would be gone before she knew it. Add to that Kaidan’s behavior shift and her annoyance level was at an eleven. He’d been treating her slightly differently after Feros, probably because of the failure to save most of the colonists and her casual attitude regarding all of it. 

She was called The Butcher of Torfan. What did anyone expect from her? She wouldn’t object to having him next to her next time she had a nightmare. Unfortunately, he might decline. ‘Whatever,’ she thought. They’d received word that a Salarian recon team on Virmire had uncovered some information on Saren. They requested an additional couple of days to dig for more information, and until then, the Normandy was jumping around doing oddball missions and Celeste was restless.

She put out her cigarette in the seashell ashtray she had picked up from the asari’s shop on the Citadel. She rolled her eyes and trudged into her bathroom. She absentmindedly brushed her teeth, examining herself in the mirror. The faintest lines were starting to appear around her eyes. “Laugh lines” Lana always called them, which was a laugh in and of itself because, aside from their encounter in the club, it had been a while since she’d genuinely laughed. Even smiling wasn’t something she made a habit of recently. She rinsed her mouth and chucked her toothbrush into its holder on the sink. 

She slipped out of her quarters. Kaidan wasn’t at his usual workstation. Frustrated, she decided to go down and visit Garrus. No one looked up as she walked towards the elevator. She rode it down to the lower level and strode confidently out. When she saw Kaidan chatting with Garrus out of the corner of her eye, she smoothly covered by walking over to Ashley’s workbench. She was going through the team inventory, cleaning and repairing weapons. She looked up as Celeste approached. “Hi, Commander.”

“Is everything shaping up for Virmire?”

“Everything that I have control over, anyway. I improved the ammo capacity on your pistol, most importantly. Improved the scope on Garrus’s sniper rifle, too.”

“That’s fantastic!” Celeste clapped her hands in genuine enthusiasm. “I’m admittedly a little worried about this Virmire mission. The Salarian recon teams are some of the most efficient in the galaxy, so I’m intrigued by what information they could have found that they’re openly willing to share.”

“We’ll see when we get there, won’t we?” Ashley smiled. She paused awkwardly. “Hey… some of us are getting together in the med bay to watch the newest Vera Cheval vid. You’re welcome to join us.”

“Isn’t Vera Cheval that up and coming actress who’s only been in romance vids so far?”

Ashley cleared her throat. “Yes, but there’s some action in this one! She’s been branching out lately. It’s gone over very well. That elcor movie critic everyone listens to loves her in this.”

“Oh, well now my interest is piqued.” Celeste grinned. “Let me get my sweater. Chakwas keeps it freezing cold in there.”

Celeste did a quick inspection of her pistol upgrade, then parted with Ashley to go grab the aforementioned sweater. She felt eyes on her as she walked away. When she was out of sight, Kaidan turned back to Garrus, who raised his hands in mock surrender.

“Does shepard seem like the kind of person who would jump at the opportunity to watch a romance vid?” Kaidan raised an eyebrow.

“Not exactly. My guess is she came down here to talk to me and you were in the way.” Garrus shrugged. “It’s nice to see her making an effort to be on better terms with Ashley though. I know those two butted heads a little bit on the subject of working with aliens. She was willing to be patient with her though, and it looks like Ashley’s coming around. Must be my dashing good looks.”

Kaidan snorted. “Well, we’ll leave them to their vids then. Let’s see if the Mako needs any work before Virmire.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Celeste was actually pleasantly surprised by the vid. It was about husband and wife spies ordered to assassinate each other that wind up turning on the person who hired them. It was a little predictable but a nice distraction. Chakwas seemed to enjoy it the most after Ashley, laughing loudly quite regularly throughout the vid. Celeste even cackled a time or two. When it was over, the small group of women dispersed, each going their own direction. She thought about going down to check back with Garrus but it occurred to her that he was probably still busy with Kaidan so she instead went back to her quarters. She was surprised to find Kaidan waiting inside. 

“Uh.. hi? Why are you in here? I mean, no offense, just wasn’t expecting you.” Celeste looked around as if she was expecting someone else to surprise her.

“I almost didn’t come here…” Kaidan trailed off. The way he was looking at her was new.

“Oh….kay? I’m still confused why you’re waiting here.” She narrowed her eyes. Her heart started pounding. Was he about to break up with her?

“You.”

“Well you’re being nice and cryptic.” She stared at him blankly. “Did I forget your birthday or something?”

Before she could react, he crossed the room and pinned her against the door. Her eyes widened. “Okay I’m not complaining but what’s gotten into you?”

“You.” He grabbed her waist and kissed her roughly. “You’re all I’ve been able to think about since Feros.”

“Oh, really?” She reached up to run a hand through his hair. “It seemed like you were frustrated or angry with me.’

“I don’t even know what made it change. I mean, I’ve wanted you almost since day one. But the last few days…. I NEED you. Like oxygen.” He reached up and pulled out her hairstick. Bright blonde hair tumbled down past her shoulders. “I stayed away from you because of what you’ve done to me.”

“Excuse me? What I’ve done to you?” She blinked. “And what would that be?”

Kaidan ran a hand up from her waist up her side, over her breast, and into her hair. He balled it into a fist and gently pulled her head back. She stared up into his eyes… cold grey meshing with warm amber. They were mostly opposite, it occurred to Celeste- the disciplined good boy military man and the promiscuous headstrong ex gangster, light and dark, loud and quiet, aggressive and… less aggressive. “You’ve driven me crazy. First thing I see when I wake, last thing I see before I go to sleep. Picturing you… doing things. Us, doing things.”

“Since Feros.” She raised an eyebrow. Kaidan kissed her again, more gently but longer, until she had to break off to catch her breath. “Again, I’m not complaining but this is very different than what I’ve come to expect from you. You blush when I look at you or touch you. You got a little wild on me that night in the club, and I was hoping that I would get that again from you.”

“Believe me, I wanted you that night, too. This is different. I need you. I need this. “ Kaidan hooked his index fingers on the waistband of her pants. “All of this.”

Celeste was stunned. She searched his face, waiting for him to laugh at her, to say it was a joke and walk away from her. When he leaned in to brush his lips against hers, her breath caught in her chest. “And what does ‘this’ consist of?”

“I have some ideas.” He moved a hand from her waistband and put it at her throat. He applied just the slightest pressure. When her pulse started to race, he grinned at her. “If I may…”

“Yes!” She blurted. She rocked up onto her toes to kiss him. He caught her bottom lip and bit it gently. He growled, pushing her back against the door. “Please…”

He seamlessly unzipped her pants and pushed them down over her ass. “Take off your clothes.”

He stepped back and crossed his arms. She hesitated a moment, chest heaving and blood pumping. Keeping eye contact with him, she stepped out of her slippers and pants and kicked them aside. She licked her bottom lip and lifted her shirt over her head, throwing it on top of her pants. Kaidan’s eyes traveled down her body and slowly came back to meet her eyes. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and only had very skimpy red lace panties on. Her tattoo stood out boldly against her skin. He gestured for her to come close to him. When she walked up to him, he ran a finger along her jaw and down her neck. “Kaidan…. Please…”

“Please what?” He moved both hands to her hips and started absentmindedly toying with the waistband of the panties. 

“I’ve wanted you to fuck me for months now.” She ran her hands up under his shirt. “Do anything to me, really. That night dancing in the club, the way you looked at me and the way you touched me… I still feel it when I go to bed at night.”

He made short work of his shirt. He grinned and watched her try to resist lowering her eyes to size him up. She failed, of course. She licked her lips and stepped closer to him. He wrapped his hand in her hair. “I’ve thought about doing this every night for the last week.”

She gave him the same look she’d given him at the club. Her hands traveled slowly down from his chest. She hooked her fingers on the waistband of his pants, mimicking his earlier move. She deftly unbuckled and unzipped his pants in one fluid motion, pulling them down as she sank to her knees in front of him. She looked up at him hungrily. Her eyes shifted from his face to his cock and back. Kaidan grinned down at her, hand still entwined in her hair. She reached up, wrapping her hand around the shaft, eliciting another growl from Kaidan. “What about this?”

She felt the grip on her hair loosen slightly, enough for her to lean forward and wrap her lips around him. He swore as she took him as far into her mouth as possible- his vision went white for a moment before he looked down proudly at her. Commander Celeste Shepard, first human Spectre and woman of legend, was on her knees in front of him with his cock in her mouth begging him to fuck her. He’d dreamt of this on more than one occasion, but this was better than he could have imagined. He watched her work him with her mouth enthusiastically, looking up at him with sheer adoration. He had bigger plans for her, though, so he stepped back from her. She whimpered in frustration as he tightened the grip on her hair. “Get on the bed.”

“But…”

“On the bed.” He pulled her to her feet. He kissed her roughly again, slipping his tongue between her lips. She still gasped as he moved his lips from her mouth, down her neck slowly to her collarbones as he turned and pushed her down on her bed. Her chest was heaving, her breathing heavy with the occasional moan of his name. The way she breathed it up at him worked its own magic on him. She kept watching him, never breaking eye contact with him as she spread her legs for him. Both of their biotics were starting to flare.

“Kaidan…” Her voice was slightly raspy as she leaned back on her hands.

“Again.”

“...What?”

“My name. Say it like that again.” He knelt down on the bed, spreading her legs slightly more.

“Kaidan.” She breathed it as he crept up to kiss her again. “Kaidan, please. Please…”

“Not so fast, Celeste.” He smirked down at her and continued moving his lips down her body. His hands slid up to her breasts slowly, massaging them just firmly enough that she arched off the bed, gasping. He was so used to seeing her in charge and barking orders or slinging sarcasm… having her mostly naked and pleading beneath him was almost its own kind of high. Grinning, he leaned down to take a nipple between his teeth and scraped it ever so slightly.

“Kaidan!” She thrust her hips upwards. He grabbed her hands and put them together above her head on the bed. He squeezed them to let her know they needed to stay there. She opened her mouth to protest- he raised an eyebrow in warning not to. She nodded.

“Good. Stay.” His eyes traveled down her body to the one item of clothing she was still wearing. His hands followed them, and he hooked his fingers on her underwear. He flung them across the room and turned his full attention to her. He studied every inch of her carefully- faint scars scattered across her skin that were barely even visible. His gaze rested between her legs as she spread them slightly wider. He accepted the invitation gladly, kissing her knee and then working his way up excruciatingly slowly until he reached slick folds that were already ready for him. He made a single pass at a time with his tongue. He was impressed by the amount of control Celeste was trying to show, almost in tears as she fought to stay positioned the way he’d left her. He looked down into her eyes as he rolled her clit with his thumb. She cried out his name again as she thrust her hips towards him, grasping at the sheets. 

“Kaidan, please..” She whimpered. She moved her hands to grab his arms. “I will do anything you want. I can’t take it anymore.”

He wordlessly shifted himself to cover her again. Her lips parted as she looked up at him and for a split second, he almost shifted his whole approach to her. But then, something flashed across her face that elicited another growl from him- a challenge. He positioned himself carefully and paused a moment. “Are you sure?”

Celeste opened her mouth to answer him at the exact moment he thrust himself completely inside of her to the hilt. She inhaled sharply. She hadn’t expected him to go hard and fast right off the bat and she couldn’t catch her breath for almost a whole minute. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him down to her so she could kiss him roughly. She tried to meet his hips with her own but eventually let herself relax and ride each wave as Kaidan drove her back into the bed. Her eyes met his and refused to budge until her climax crept up slowly and then crashed over her. She slapped her hand over her mouth to muffle the loudest cries so far that night. Kaidan grinned down at her, roughly kissing her as he crashed over the edge. They laid still for a moment, heavy breathing and tangled limbs. She cleared her throat and propped herself up on his chest. “Now I’m really wishing I didn’t get drunk the other night. I’m going to be thinking about this for weeks.”

“You better.” This time the kiss was gentle, a complete departure from the rest of their night.

“Will you stay?” She tousled his hair. “Please?”

"If you'll have me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the vid mentioned is a reference to Mr and Mrs Smith XD


	9. Virmire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been taking notes while playing for the fic and I always seem to forget how long the Virmire mission is. I wrote most of this before heading out to work so once I hit 8 pages on google docs, I knew I had to wrap it up. The next chapter is going to have some uncomfortable behavior on the part of Celeste.

Celeste was half-expecting to wake up to an empty bed like she was so accustomed to. She couldn’t blame Kaidan if he was having second thoughts or if he’d gotten what he needed. She was perfectly fine with sex being a transaction- she’d been the one to leave in the middle of the night probably as many times as it happened to her. So when she turned over in bed and realized that he was still there with an arm slung over her watching her, she wasn’t exactly sure how to react. “You’re still here…”

“Would you rather I wasn’t?” He asked. He frowned, running a hand through her hair with a definite look of concern behind his eyes. She paused for a moment, staring into his eyes.

“Of course not,” she whispered. “I’m just not used to it.”

“Joker says we’re a couple of hours out from Virmire.”

“Oh god please tell me he doesn’t know you’re here.”

“I’m pretty sure he figured it out.”

“I’m never going to hear the end of this,” she groaned. “Although, to be honest, I was pretty loud last night so I’d be surprised if the whole fucking ship didn’t know.”

“I get the distinct feeling you didn’t really care.”

“It was worth it.” She rolled her hips against him. “If you want it to be a regular thing I’ll be glad to volunteer. In between missions, of course.”

“You’re going to be the death of me, woman,” he growled.

“I don’t know…” she grinned. “You had me pretty short of breath for a bit there.”

“So you know what the real question is, right?”

“How many more rounds we can go before Virmire?”

“I was thinking more along the lines of ‘how am I getting out of here without everyone seeing’ but I’m curious about the other thing too.”

“Kaidan you realize you left marks on me, right? Everyone’s going to figure it out.” She slid a leg over his hip. “But don’t worry, I won’t say anything. I know you’re worried about rules.”

She grinned again and snuck in a quick kiss before she rolled out of bed. Without looking at him, she could feel his eyes following her as she moved around the room. She picked up their clothes from the previous night, putting them into neatly folded piles… except for putting her underwear on his pile. She heard him shift his weight on the bed and he was on her in an instant, a hand firmly grasping her hip and one snaking up to her throat. She inhaled sharply and let him guide her to lean back against him, his erection firm against her ass. He leaned down, brushing his lips against her ear and enjoying the slight squirm it triggered. “Move your hair.”

She immediately obeyed, pulling her hair away from his face. He intentionally breathed down her neck, triggering a series of shivers and whimpers despite her attempts to stay stoic. She thrust her hips backwards, rewarded by his grip on her hip tightening. “I thought you were worried about getting out of here unnoticed.”

“Be quiet.” He dragged his teeth down the side of her neck before biting where it met her shoulder. That would definitely leave a mark later but neither of them really cared at the moment, especially not Celeste. Both of them groaned when Joker’s voice boomed over the comm.

“Hey Commander- just so you and whoever else might hear this knows, we’re about thirty minutes out from landing. Big problem- huge guns planetside are going to make it impossible to land normally. I’m gonna have to drop you in the Mako to clear the landing space for us. One of the Salarian leaders said something about a nuke. I figure he’ll want to talk to…” He cleared his throat. “... Alenko.. About setting that up.”

“Thirty minutes? That’s not much notice, Joker.”

“Would you have preferred it an hour ago?”

“..... Shut up, Joker.”

“See you in a bit, Commander.”

Celeste sighed loudly and leaned back against Kaidan. “Looks like I owe you time when we get back from this.”

“I’m keeping track, you know.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste popped her knuckles and took Wrex’s hand to get into the Mako. Garrus was ready to prove whether or not he was the superior Mako driver, while Shepard and Wrex were to man the guns. She’d been reluctant to not bring Kaidan with her but common sense had won out, and Kaidan was quite frankly the best squadmate to team with Tali to work on getting the nuke ready. In the meantime, it was up to the three in the Mako to thin out the herd of geth standing between them and the landing zone. She realized the other two were watching her, waiting for a decision. “Are you both ready? Let’s go kick some geth ass.”

Garrus grinned and threw the Mako into gear. He glanced back at Celeste. “Lemme show you how to drive this thing without killing your passengers.”

“UMMM I have never killed any of you with my driving. Bruises aren’t death, stop being dramatic.” She smirked when the Mako lurched forward. “Great driving, Vakarian.”

“I’m glad that the lieutenant has been able to work with you on it.”

“Yeah, it’s been great being less patient when someone else drives.”

“You can’t always have control over everything.”

“I can try!” She retorted. A geth drone hit her renge and she easily shot it out of the air. “Let’s focus on the geth, guys!”

This particular combination of Normandy crew was always proficient at wiping out geth and this time was no different. Celeste had to admit Garrus was navigating the narrow path rather well- the water from the ocean was rolling up onto land pretty aggressively, and the slightest wrong move would cause them to wash out to sea without a chance of escape. She could feel the water washing up on the sides of the Mako. If they weren’t being fired upon by a ton of geth it might be a soothing sound. She caught a glimpse of a group of about a dozen geth up ahead all hiding behind shields. 

“I got this,” Garrus said. “Going to take a page out of Shepard’s book and go bowling for geth.”

“Guns ready!” She grinned. “You ready, Wrex?”

“You bet Shepard. Lowest kill count buys the first two rounds back on the Citadel.” 

The trio cut through the first groups of geth easily. There were more rocket troopers than they had expected, and Celeste was definitely more distracted than she needed to be. It made her frustrated, and her aim was suffering. It didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Remind me I owe Alenko a drink when you inevitably lose horribly.” Wrex roared with laughter.

“You haven’t won yet, Wrex!” She cackled as she took out three rocket drones, sending scraps of metal flying.

“The first gatehouse is in sight!” Garrus shouted. He downshifted and stomped on the accelerator. Celeste glued herself to her scope and scanned for geth. The radar was jammed, so the team was going to have to find the geth themselves. She didn’t have to search long- at the top of the gatehouse stairs, there were two geth snipers standing super close together, both with shots already lined up. She fired a shot, managing to take them both out at once. The Mako screeched to a halt a few feet from the base of the steps. The three of them lept out of the vehicle. 

“Cover me! I’m going up to open the doors.” Celeste ignored it when her knee popped and took the steps two at a time, completely aware of the sounds of a geth shock trooper closing in on her. She grinned as she hit it with an Overload a mere few seconds before Wrex closed in with his shotgun. “Stop stealing my kills, Wrex!”

“Stop setting them up for me and just kill them, then!”

They both dodged a rocket from a trooper they’d missed. They both hit it with warps simultaneously. “Does that count as a jinx?”

“Totally does,” Garrus piped up. He posted at the top of the steps to cover them. “Hurry up and go hit the shutter control, Shepard.”

She set off at a run across the top of the gatehouse, trying to ignore the sore spot on her neck where her armor kept hitting the fresh bite mark Kaidan had given her that morning. She grinned to herself. She couldn’t wait for this to be over so they could pick up where they left off. Without a second thought, she threw the last geth out of her way before slamming her fist on the shutter control button. She easily shot it out of the air and turned to rejoin her teammates. Wrex grunted at her in approval. “Looks like we’re tied right now, Shepard. The second gatehouse is still ahead of us so don’t get too comfortable yet.”

“I think my money is on Shepard this time. She’s got an extra pep in her step and her aim’s been pretty solid so far today.” Garrus flared his mandibles in amusement. “Of course, if Alenko was added to the mix, I would put money on his topping her.”

Celeste’s face flushed bright red at the double entendre. Face on fire, she hurriedly descended the steps and rushed to get back into the Mako. She refused to look up as the others got in behind her but she didn’t need to to know exactly how they were looking at her. It was her own fault, of course, and this was exactly why the regs were in place that Kaidan had been so reluctant to break. Hopefully, this would be over soon and they could get some shore leave to themselves. She shook herself out of it as Garrus stomped on the accelerator and they sped through the shutters of the gate house. The water was noticeably deeper on this side, and, while she had complete faith in Garrus despite how much shit she gave him, it was just deep enough to worry her a little. Judging by his driving, she guessed that Garrus had the same concerns. Surprisingly, this part of the path had significantly more geth along the way. Concerned about the current, the trio stayed in the Mako as much as possible, preferring to run over a significant number of the geth rather than risking any of them getting caught and swept out to sea. That’d be a real hoot, she thought. Surviving everything leading up to this point just to get swept out to sea and forgotten.

The second and third gatehouses were more or less the same as the first, with Celeste practically running on autopilot. Garrus calculated the kill counts between her and Wrex- Celeste had won by three kills in the end. Wrex chuckled. “There are still plenty of geth ahead. I’m sure I’ll tie it up if not flat out win.”

“Cool story, Wrex. We’ll see.” She glanced up as Joker brought in the Normandy close overhead. “Garrus, go ahead and gun it so we can meet up with the Normandy and the Salarians.”

Garrus drove the Mako up to the camp far more carefully than he’d driven it so far during the mission. As Celeste stepped out of the vehicle, she looked over and saw Ashley and Kaidan arguing with a salarian that looked mostly in charge. She glanced around the camp and saw the rest of the team milling around the camp. The humans were the only ones who looked irritated. She rolled her eyes and walked over to see what the issue was. The salarian looked up, watching her as she approached and ignoring the bickering humans.

“Are you all the Council sent?” He was clearly upset. Ashley and Kaidan momentarily stopped arguing to watch the interaction. “I am Captain Kirrahe, Third Infiltration Unit, STG.”

“Um.. yes? We couldn’t tell what was going on from the transmission.”

“We lost… half of our men… finding and infiltrating this place. And this is what we were sent?”

“Yes, unfortunately. This is a good team, though, and we’re prepared to help you with whatever you need. What is going on here that drew the attention of the Special Tasks Group?”

“The situation is even worse than we thought. Saren is here because of the Krogan cloning program.”

“Wait… Krogan CLONING?” Her jaw dropped a little. “How is that even possible?”

“That’s what I would like to know,” Wrex’s voice cut in behind her.

“The ‘how’ doesn’t matter. This program is a mistake and needs to be stopped.”

“WE ARE NOT A MISTAKE!” Wrex bellowed. Ashley looked concerned, her hand moving slightly back towards her pistol. Celeste narrowed her eyes and shook her head at her.

“So does Saren have some sort of cure for the Genophage?”

“It is the only possibility we can think of to explain the number of Krogan in this facility.” Kirrahe ignored Wrex as he stormed off.

“Oh boy.”

“The program cannot be permitted to continue, Commander.”

“Good luck telling that to Wrex.”

“Indeed. You’ll need to do that before we can continue. I am trying to put together a plan to destroy this place. Saren cannot be permitted to access a cloned Krogan army. Also, your human compatriots need to come to a decision.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. This plan requires one of them to come along with my team as a diversion, and one needs to remain with the bomb to set it up.”

“LT needs to stay with the bomb because of his tech abilities.” Ashley piped up. “I can cover the Captain and the team.”

“With all due respect…,” Kaidan said

“Why is it whenever someone says ‘with all due respect’ they mean ‘kiss my ass’?” Ashley narrowed her eyes. Kaidan flared his nostrils. Celeste shook her head.

“Williams will go with you, Captain. I agree Alenko’s skill set would be put to better use dealing with the bomb.” She turned to look at Wrex. “I’ll see what I can do with Wrex.”

She felt Kaidan’s eyes on her as she walked over to where Wrex was waiting. She wasn’t surprised when the Krogan pulled his shotgun on her. She blinked at him calmly. “Wrex, please.”

“Don’t ‘WREX’ me, Shepard.” He scowled. “Saren has the cure for the genophage. You want it destroyed. I'm supposed to believe we’re on the same team?”

“Yes, because we are.” She raised an eyebrow. “Look at what Saren has done so far. Do you really think he cares about the krogan or do you think he just wants a brute armor of meat shields to do his dirty work? All he wants to help is the reapers.”

“He’s still doing more than anyone else on this planet is.”

“He wants the krogans as slaves, Wrex.” She shrugged. “I thought you wanted more than that for the krogan. If you’d prefer to be a puppet for him, by all means. I want better for you.”

Wrex stared at her for a moment, pensieve. He sighed and lowered his shotgun. “I hope you’re right, Shepard.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste stared at the shattered glass on either side of her. Garrus and Wrex looked at each other and back at the beacon Sovereign had used to communicate with her.

Sovereign wasn’t a reaper ship. He was just a flat out fucking reaper.

“Hey, Commander!” Joker’s voice cut through her disbelief. “Sovereign just pulled a turn that would shear an Alliance Navy ship in half. What the hell is going on?”

“It’s a long story.” She sighed. “Let’s get this bomb handled and I’ll fill you in later.”

They ran out of the room and down a long hallway. There were only a few geth on the way to the site, as they’d made short work of them on the way into the room. They took the elevator up to the bomb site.

Something wasn’t right.

She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she got the distinct feeling something bad was about to happen. The hair on the back of her neck stood up. She ignored it as they stepped out of the elevator and into the sun. The bomb site had about a foot and a half of water in it. They walked towards the Normandy as Kaidan helped unload the nuke. Celeste did a quick survey of the area. 

“Shepard!” Ashley’s voice cut into the comms. “We’re pinned down at the second AA tower!”

“Shit.” Celeste sighed. Kaidan looked over at her.

“Go to Williams. We need a moment to get this armed correctly anyway.” He waved her away. She raised an eyebrow, but he was right, as usual. She motioned for Wrex and Garrus to follow her across to the elevator opposite from the one that had brought them up. As the door shut behind them, Garrus was the first to speak.

“Anyone else have a bad feeling about this?”

“Oh thank fuck it’s not just me,” Celeste groaned.

“You’re not getting any more grief from me, Shepard.” Wrex grunted. “But something is definitely up.”

“Why haven’t we really seen Saren? Has he already left?” She rubbed her temples. “I’m ready to blow this joint already.”

The elevator doors opened directly into a group of half a dozen krogan. The trio dispatched them easily, with Celeste only needing one reload. The hally was narrow, so they had to step over the bodies to continue. She could tell it was difficult for Wrex, but he never let the calm facade slip even though she knew he was quietly still not 100% happy with her decision to destroy the facility. What had to be done had to be done, though, and everyone who was part of the squad knew it. They mounted a short flight of stairs just as Kaidan’s voice cut in over the comms. 

“Geth are getting dropped in all over. We need to arm the bomb and get out!’ He shouted. “Go get Williams and the Normandy and go!” 

“But what about you?” Garrus responded before Celeste could.

“I’ll wait with the bomb and make sure it goes off. Go get Williams.” His tone saddened her immensely… was he actually suggesting she leave him behind?

“Negative, LT,” Ashley responded. “Shepard is closer to you. Go get Alenko, Shepard. I can make sure it goes off. Dad’d do the same thing.”

Ashley wanted to do her dad proud, so much that she was willing to stay behind and ensure their survival? Celeste could respect that. She swallowed hard. “We’ll come get you after we get Alenko, Ashley.”

“We both know that isn’t going to happen, Shepard.” Her voice was steadier than hers would have been.

“We’ll see about that.”

“If you say so, Shepard.”

The comms went silent as the squad turned to retrace their steps back to the bomb site. Her pulse pounded in her head, deafening the other sounds of the fight on the way back. There were only a few enemies, fortunately, since they’d already done most of the work during their first trek through. However, when they reached the bomb site, things had heated up, and there were plenty of geth waiting for them, just as Kaidan had said. He was propped up next to the bomb, injured. She ignored the instinct to run over to him, instead taking cover behind some crates as Saren himself appeared on a floating platform. She began firing her pistol at him but he easily deflected with his shields. He returned the favor by trying to throw her, but she dodged easily- unfortunately the dodge left her open as he stormed up to her and lifted her by her throat. She heard Kaidan shouting something, and Saren saying some nonsense about joining the reapers but her vision began to darken as she tried to kick her way away from Saren. Annoyed with her, Saren tossed her aside. He was gone as quickly as he'd appeared, Celeste firing off a couple of rounds after him as she struggled to get to her feet. Kaidan said something next to her that she didn’t hear. When she looked at him, she realized he’d taken some fire from geth and managed to get a dislocated shoulder. Joker brought the Normandy around as she struggled to pick up Kaidan and get him across her shoulders. Garrus and Wrex waited behind them, in case they had to pick off any straggler geth. Chakwas was waiting at the top of the ramp to walk them to the med bay.

A looming sense of panic crept into the back of her mind as she left Kaidan in the med bay. She crossed over to one of the windows in the mess area where Garrus was already standing. A mere moment later, a very obvious mushroom cloud erupted from the bomb site. 

“Ashley…,” she whimpered. She felt Garrus watching her but he said nothing. She had nothing to say anyway. What was she going to say? Everyone with half a brain would know why she made the decision that she did. Most of her decision legitimately was to let Ashley redeem the family name, but she’d be lying if her first thought wasn’t saving the man she loved.

Wait…. Loved? She wrinkled her nose. That was… annoying. But this wasn’t the time for this. She glanced over when she saw movement in her peripheral. Tali was walking up to her.

“Ashley will be missed,” Tali said. “I never did get good enough at chess to beat her.”

“I’m… I’m sorry, Tali.”

“Why? She made her decision. She’s a hero.”

“I suppose she is.” Celeste half smiled at her. “You know, I’m not as good at chess as Ashley was, but if I had the time I’d enjoy playing with you.”

“I would like that, Shepard.” Celeste was pretty sure she saw a smile underneath the mask. She stood next to Celeste in silence and watched until Virmire was no longer in sight.

...And then there were five.


	10. Marks Left Behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celeste comes to terms with a decision, just to get left to the wolves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was so much I wanted to do with this chapter but if I did it all in one, it'd be super long.

Celeste stared at her ceiling. She couldn’t get the image of the mushroom cloud on Virmire out of her head, or Ashley’s last words to her, begging her to go save Kaidan.

Kaidan. She would deal with that later.

She sighed in disgust with herself. She rolled out of bed, grabbing her jacket and her pack of cigarettes as she headed out of her quarters and to the elevator. She didn’t bother to pay attention to anyone in the corridors on the way, lighting a cigarette and punching the elevator button. When it came to a stop on the bottom level, she sauntered out and turned towards Ashley’s workstation. She stopped short at the sight of it. She took a deep breath before continuing over to it. It was relatively neat, with a couple of photos, some books, and a small cat figurine. She put out her cigarette in the nearby ashtray that Ashley had made for her smoke breaks. Celeste picked up one of the photos, a picture of her, her sister, and her parents. All smiling, all happy together. She gently went through the photos, stacking them in a box to return to her family. The books were mixed- poetry books, romance novels, mysteries, true crime, and more. The last book was a leather-bound book with no description on the outside cover. When she opened it, she realized it was a journal. She shut it hurriedly and placed it in with the others. When she heard the elevator behind her, she didn’t need to turn around to know whose eyes were on her. She stayed focused on the task in front of her. When the smell of Kaidan’s aftershave hit her, she clenched her jaw and turned around.

“What?” She crossed her arms in front of her. “I’m in the middle of something.”

“Sorry.” He frowned. “Packing up Ashley’s things?”

“Yep.” She turned back around. “Can this wait?”

“Why?”

“Why what?” She whirled around to face him. “We. Can talk about this. Later.”

“Why me? Why not Ashley?” The hurt in his voice cut deep. 

“I had a decision to make and I made it. End of story.” She tapped a finger on her arm. "Don't question me."

“But…”

“STOP. Why the FUCK are you pushing me about this?!” She shrieked. The background noise in the room went silent, and she felt multiple pairs of eyes watching them. She lowered her voice. “This is already difficult enough without you doing this."

He stepped closer to her, raising his hand to touch her face. Her temper exploded. She pushed him away as hard as she could. He stumbled but didn’t fall, hurt visible on his face. Warm amber eyes pleaded with her. He lowered his voice so that only they could hear. “Celeste…”

“Later,” she whispered. “I can’t do this right now. Not in front of everyone.”

“Alright.” His eyes searched her face. “I’ll be in my quarters.”

Celeste watched as he walked away towards the elevator. The others in the room turned back to their tasks, ignoring her as she returned to Ashley’s belongings. The cat figurine was still on the table. It was a ginger cat with bright green eyes, hand-painted ceramic. It seemed somewhat unlike Ashley, but then Celeste realized she didn’t know much about her at all.

And she’d been so confident in her decision.

This was worse than Torfan. At least Torfan had been her getting the job done. What was Virmire? Sure, they’d shut down the cloning program that definitely needed to be shut down but was her decision the right one? Ashley had certainly thought so, but she couldn’t help but wonder if everyone on board the ship assumed she’d only saved Kaidan because… well, because he was Kaidan. She’d been worried about his injuries at first glance but Chakwas had patched both of them up easily. She’d raised an eyebrow at the bite marks on Celeste. Celeste in turn merely winked at her and they both continued on pretending like neither of them knew anything about it. She’d left the med bay without saying anything to him, and had gone straight to her quarters without saying a word to anyone. Kaidan had made no attempt to speak to her until just now. 

It was a goddamn mess. And now, looking at this silly ceramic cat, she started second-guessing everything.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

She stared at the marks Saren had left on her neck. He easily could have killed her, but Kaidan had armed the bomb at the perfect moment and Saren had fled. She saved Kaidan, Kaidan saved her. So she made the right decision, right?

She’d been so terrible to him. She had no right to shove him, or scream at him in front of the others. She was still angry he pushed her the way he had, though. Irritated with herself, she zipped up her jacket and stormed out of her quarters. Word of her outburst in the Mako bay had clearly spread throughout the ship, as everyone in her path practically leapt out of her way. She glanced around to see if the coast was clear quickly before turning the corner and walking up to Kaidan’s door. She knocked softly. A brief moment passed before the door opened. Kaidan looked unsure how to greet her, but eventually waved her in. He closed the door quietly behind her as she turned to face him. “Kaidan…”

Before she could say anything, Kaidan closed the distance between them. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, pulling her up against him. “Celeste…”

“I shouldn’t have hit you like that, especially not in front of everyone.”

“It’s fine.” He brushed her hair out of her face and ran a finger along her jaw. “You know, for a split second there I thought I would never see you again.”

“I couldn’t…” He cut her off by kissing her roughly. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Kaidan, please… can I stay with you tonight?”

“Of course. I was hoping you would ask.” He smiled softly at her. He caught sight of the bruising around her neck though, and he furrowed his brow. “Is that what he did to you?”

“It’s nothing…” She inhaled sharply as in one fluid motion, Kaidan unzipped her jacket and pushed it off of her shoulders. She lowered her eyes as he pushed her hair back to get a better look. She shed the jacket and tossed it aside.

“It’s not nothing.” His voice had a sharp edge to it. “Does it hurt?”

“Oddly, no.”

“So if I do this….” He brushed his lips across the bruising gently, amused when he noticed the goosebumps that sprung up along her arms.

“You’d be fine.” Kaidan rewarded her with a growl, scooping her up and carrying her to his bed. She couldn’t help but let out a slight giggle. He playfully tossed her onto the bed and she yelped. He knelt next to her and stared deep into her eyes. “Kaidan, seriously…. I could never leave you behind or walk away from you.”

“I know. It’s fine.” He grinned as she pulled him down next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled up to his chest as close as she could. “Seriously though, how are you?”

“I keep questioning if I could have done more to save her. I know she was a soldier and knew the risk but that doesn’t make it any easier to leave someone behind like that. Then I remind myself that she was why we were able to get away when we did.”

“What can I do?” He stroked her hair gently. He loved playing with her hair, watching it calm her down from even the most explosive of moods. Every time, it surprised him a little bit that she would let her guard down for him- she was such a wound-up ball of frustration, noise, and spunk that the way she reacted to him was unreal at times. All it took to take her from an eleven to a five attitude-wise was the slightest change in tone, a hand wrapped up in her hair, a firm hand on her waist, or any other superficially minor move.

Joker’s voice sounded over the comm. “Lieutenant, if you see the Commander, let her know that Udina and the Council are requesting us back at the Citadel asap.”

“What the fuck?” Celeste whispered. Kaidan shrugged. 

“Any idea why?” Kaidan asked.

“Not really. Just something about Saren and the geth.” Joker sounded highly suspicious.

“I’ll pass it along if I see her.” He frowned. The comm went silent as he looked over at Celeste. She was no fan of Udina and made no bones about it. There was a surprising amount of fire behind her eyes considering the clear steel tone to them. “So what do you think they want?”

“To be a pain in my ass.” Any calm he’d managed to get out of her was gone. “I bet you any sum of credits that this is going to hinder us somehow. There’s a reason I avoid speaking to them whenever possible.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What else can I do? We have to report back. Who knows, maybe they’ll actually do something helpful.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste froze, stunned. “You understand that Saren is literally bringing a Reaper to take control of the Citadel, corect?”

The Council looked at each other and back at Shepard with an air of distaste. Udina sneered sideways at her and spoke up. “The Reapers are a lie spun by Saren to distract you from the real issue at play. He merely wants to attack the Citadel himself and wants you playing a wild goose chase to be out of his way.”

“Okay but the Conduit…”

“Is merely another misdirection from Saren. He’s a cunning conspirator of the geth- it’s understandable how you would fall for it,” the asari councillor said with a shake of her head. Celeste turned to make eye contact with Garrus, who flared his mandibles. Kaidan stood next to him in silence. She turned back around.

“Is it really so much to ask…”

“Shepard, you and the Normandy have been grounded. End of story. Now, excuse us while we focus on the real issue.” Udina was enjoying this, the fucker. It was fine- Celeste would remember this. 

“Fine. Have it your way.” She stepped closer to him. “No one stabs me in the back, Udina. No one."


	11. Into the Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Twas the night before Ilos...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was super conflicted with how I was going to write the club portion of this. I always thought the meeting you have with Anderson in the game isn't particularly subtle- when you waltz into Flux in full armor with your armored buddies to meet him, it should 100% set off an alarm to anyone who's even slightly watching them. So, I made it a sneaky arrangement.

“FUCK THIS SHIT!” Celeste hurled her framed medals against the wall, somewhat satisfied when the glass shattered. It clearly meant fuck all anyway and she couldn’t stand to look at it. Without thinking, she punched the wall. 

Fuck Udina.

Fuck the Council.

Fuck the Alliance at this point.

She’d gone back to the ship immediately after Udina’s dismissal. Rage had been overflowing in waves of biotic flares. Garrus and Kaidan had kept a bit of distance behind her, letting her seethe all the way back to the Normandy. She’d left Garrus to explain the situation to Joker and immediately headed directly to her quarters. She was so angry she could barely even see anything clearly. Right when she walked into her room, the first thing that she noticed was the ashtray that Ashley had made her- she had moved it before they returned to the Citadel. The sight of it set her over the edge, furious with herself for leaving her, furious that they were on lockdown even though she was a Spectre. She angrily picked up a pillow from her bed and screamed into it. 

She needed to shoot something. She grabbed her jacket, zipped it up to try to cover the residual bruising from Saren that Chakwas hadn’t been able to completely get rid of, and booked it for the elevator. She punched the elevator button almost as hard as she had punched her wall. She felt a slight pop on one of her knuckles and swore under her breath. Another visit to Chakwas. “Awesome.”

Garrus was already at the makeshift range Ashley had set up what seemed like ages ago. He briefly looked up as she walked up before nailing a shot perfectly between a target’s eyes. He grunted to himself and turned to face her. “I see we had the same idea, Shepard.”

“I definitely need to shoot something and it doesn’t look like we can do that anywhere else now,” she snarled. “Is this what leaving C-Sec felt like?”

“Basically.”

“This is such bullshit. I’m trying to think of a way, any way, that we can sneak off the Citadel and go after him.”

“You know they’ll come down on you pretty hard if we do, right?”

“I don’t care. This is bigger than any of us at this point. I don’t care if they lock me up the rest of my life. As long as I get to go at least one more round with Alenko first.” She grinned. Garrus chuckled, as hard as he tried not to.

“So what happens if we do get out of here?”

“We gotta get to Ilos. One way or another.” She tilted her head. “Any chance you can call in a favor with your C-Sec connections?”

“I’ll try.” He shifted his weight. “It’s probably a good idea if you’re not in the same room as me when I do it.”

“Yeah,” she said. She smirked. “I totally have to clean up a mess I made in my quarters anyway so I should go do that or something.”

She cackled when he winked at her, and turned around to go back to her quarters. She couldn’t help but smile to herself. She’d been incredibly lucky to land the group of friends that she had. Tali had adjusted to playing chess with her after Ashley’s death. Wrex pretended to dislike when Celeste called him “Uncle Wrex” but the last couple of times he’d actually chuckled a little bit. Liara had been spending a lot of time with Dr Chakwas, and she and Shepard had a standing Sunday lunch whenever possible. Celeste couldn’t even remember the last time she had this many sincere friends.

And then there was Kaidan…If Celeste’s favorite bourbon was a person, it would be Kaidan Alenko, even down to the quiet growls he made in her ear. Oh, those growls…. Just thinking about it made her knee almost buckle. She pressed the elevator button much more gently on the way back up. She sighed as the elevator door opened and she headed straight for her room quietly, not bothering to make eye contact with anyone along the way. She saw Kaidan out of the corner of her eye but didn’t let on that she had even though she felt his eyes on her the entire time. When she got into her room, the first thing she laid eyes on was the broken glass and her medal. She carefully picked up the pieces of glass and chucked them into the trash can by her desk. She reluctantly threw the medal onto the desk next to a stack of paperwork that she probably should have looked at yesterday. Tomorrow, she thought. A soft knock on her door made her refocus. She rushed over to open it, expecting Kaidan. Instead, it was Garrus.

“So I heard back almost immediately from my contacts,” he said. “And they aren’t willing to help us. They don’t want to go against the Council.”

“Shit,” she hissed. She walked out of her quarters, motioning Garrus to follow her. She scanned the mess area. There were a few crew members, blissfully unaware of the politics going on around them. “I don’t suppose you have any other ideas?”

“Not yet. I’m trying.”

“I appreciate it, Garrus.” She smiled faintly. “We’ll figure something out.”

She sighed as she watched him walk away. She forced herself to keep a thin smile on her face as she walked over to her locker. She fiddled with the lock but was too distracted to open it correctly. Frustrated, she turned and slumped down to the floor in front of it. No one really paid her any mind past a quick glance which she casually waved away with a smile. Over the next few minutes, meals were finished, trays were dumped, and the crew members that had been there slowly thinned out and went their own ways. It was then that Kaidan left his work station and approached her. She eyed him warily. “If you’re not here to tell me everything’s going to be alright, I’m not sure how enthusiastic you expect me to be.”

“I don’t know what to tell you…”

“Is it....” She put her hand up. “Is it so hard to just say everything will be alright?”

“Uh… Everything will be alright?”

“See? How hard was that?” She smirked up at him. “Are you always this cautious with a sure thing?”

He held out a hand to help her to her feet. She took it and let him hoist her up, stumbling slightly into him. He easily caught her by the waist and pulled her closer to him. She raised an eyebrow- while they’d spent plenty of time tangled up in each others’ sheets, he’d always been overly cautious in not showing her any affection in front of the crew. Right now, he didn’t seem to care much as he rubbed his thumbs in circles on either side of her waist. She met his gaze, melting into him as he lowered his lips to brush her forehead.

“Hey Commander,” Joker’s voice rang out over the comm. Celeste rolled her eyes and shook her head before responding. She tapped a finger on her forehead to calm down, an old trick from her childhood that she rarely used since she seemed to almost always just go scorched earth at the slightest inconvenience. 

“What, Joker?”

“Got a cryptic message that I’m pretty sure is from Captain Anderson. It recommends that you go to Flux tonight, no armor.”

“What? That’s weird.” She raised an eyebrow to Kaidan, who merely shrugged in return. “What are the odds this is some sort of trap?”

“I mean there aren’t any specifics, really. Even if it is a trap, I’m not sure what the actual trap would be. Worse comes to worst, you get to go dance it off for a bit.” The comm clicked off.

“Get Liara. You two are the most subtle that I can bring with me.”

“Do you really think it’s a trap?”

“No. Joker’s right- what would the trap be? Staying on the Citadel?”

“I don’t know. Something to do with fraternization?” 

“They could have gotten me for that ages ago and didn’t. My guess is Anderson, or whoever signed off as him, has a plan.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kaidan stared at his beer absentmindedly. He was posted up at the Flux main bar, scanning the crowd for either Anderson or trouble… hell, maybe both? He could see Celeste dancing with Liara out of the corner of his eye. He had repeated his prior club outfit, but Celeste had traded her bright pink leather dress that he loved so much for an equally tight black one that he was pretty sure he liked just as much. He had to give the two women credit- even knowing what was going on, he could easily buy them as just another couple out for the night having a good time. As usual, he let himself get unnecessarily distracted by the tattoo on her arm, so much so that he barely noticed the redhead that sidled up to the bar next to him.

“Ah, Kaidan Alenko,” she snorted. He jumped like a startled cat. It was Lana. Bright green eyes and a red-lipped smirk let him know that she was most likely well aware of the status of whatever relationship it was that he and Celeste had.

“Lana, right?” He forced a smile. “Long time no see.”

“You don’t have to pretend to be happy to see me, darlin’.” The smile broadened. “I imagine seeing me makes you a little uncomfortable.”

“Not as much now,” he admitted. “If I’m being perfectly honest, you’re really pretty and I know Celeste seems to prefer women in general.”

“We had a good thing for sure. But that was ages ago and she’s a smitten kitten for you now.” She winked. “I would offer to buy you a drink but you seem to be having enough trouble with what you got.”

“You know what?” He gave her a toothy grin. “Screw it.

He grabbed the beer firmly and slammed it. Lana cackled and clapped him on the shoulder enthusiastically. “Yes! There you go. Now it’s shots time.”

“Oh I’m not sure…”

“Shots time!” She winked at him again. She stepped closer to him, grabbed his bicep and lowered her voice. “Listen, I don’t know what Ella’s up to but I can tell when she’s up to something. You think you’re being subtle but you’re a bit better known than I think you realize. So, you’re going to do this shot and pretend like you’re happy to see me.”

“Wait, are you in on… You know what, I don’t wanna know. Yes. Shots.” 

“Attaboy.” She signaled to Doran, who grumbled something and set about pouring a full tray of shots. Kaidan’s eyes widened in alarm. “Relax, these aren’t all for us. Just most of them.”

“You are insane, aren’t you?”

“Don’t know. Now shut up and take a shot. Clinksies!” She held up one of the shot glasses to toast him. He awkwardly copied her and clinked his against hers. She threw her head back and downed the shot, followed by an almost inhuman giggle. 

He could see why Celeste liked her.

He downed the shot not quite as easily as Lana had taken hers, but it was apparently enough to elicit another giggle.”Well, well, Alenko. You might just be able to keep up with her yet.”

She grinned at him and slinked off onto the dancefloor, squeezing between two asari couples to walk up behind Celeste. She put a hand on Celeste’s back. Celeste leaned back as Lana leaned in between her and Liara to say something. Kaidan was pretty sure whatever she said was about him when all three women turned to look at him, with Celeste giving him THAT look that she always did when she flirted with him. Embarrassed, he turned to the side to hide his reddening face. As he did, he caught a glimpse of Anderson walking in and scanning the room for them before getting a table. Kaidan glanced over at Celeste and Liara to see if they’d noticed but they hadn’t. ‘Oh boy,’ he thought. He put on what he hoped was a casual smile as he walked onto the dance floor. A pretty brunette tried to dance in front of him to get his attention but he smiled politely and shook his head. He walked up behind Celeste. Grinning, he let his biotics spark the tiniest bit as he reached out for her shoulder. He was rewarded with her arching her back slightly and inhaling sharply before spinning around and stepping closer to him. He leaned in with a hand on her waist. “Anderson’s here.”

“Of course!” She grinned. She motioned for Liara to follow them as they casually walked over to the table where Anderson was. Seamlessly, Celeste acted like an old friend. “David! So great to see you!”

They sat at the table with him, waving away a waitress that swooped in. Celeste turned to Anderson. “Okay what the fuck is going on though?”

“I have an idea how to get you out of here.” Anderson looked her straight in the eye. “But you have to do exactly as I say or we won’t have a chance.”

“Ooh a plan!” She winked suggestively at Kaidan, as if his face wasn’t already red enough. Liara of all people snickered at it.

“There are two ways I can manually lift the Normandy’s lockdown. One is in Udina’s office and one is in the control center.”

“Control center sounds risky as fuck. Udina’s just one asshole so full of himself that he probably won’t realize something’s happening until it hits him in the face or bites him in the ass.”

“There is a terminal in his office that I can use to lift the lockdown long enough for you to get the hell out of here. Unless you think that the control center is better.”

Celeste furrowed her brow. Her eyes widened and she looked at Kaidan. “I understand if you don’t want a part of this. This is definitely mutiny.”

He shook his head. “I’m here with you for the long haul, Shepard.”

Her chest tightened and she smiled warmly at him. “Alright then. Go through Udina’s office. Give us like half an hour to get back to the ship. I’ll fill in Joker. And Anderson?”

Anderson stood up. “Yes, Shepard?”

“Thank you. And please be careful.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste’s heart was pounding. She was hovering over Joker in the cockpit as they waited for the lockdown to lift- the giant red light couldn’t turn green fast enough. She contemplated what she would do if they stopped Saren… and she would eventually be arrested. It didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered except stopping Saren. 

And Kaidan. 

The fact that he was willing to go through a full-on mutiny with her meant he had genuine faith in her. True, intense faith in her. That was new. 

She shook herself back to reality and back to that fuck red light. She was starting to think that Anderson had been caught or foiled when suddenly it flashed bright green. “Now, Joker!”

She turned and ran out of the cockpit as Joker deftly manipulated the controls to back the Normandy out of her dock. She ran towards the rear of the ship and the galaxy map. She dialed in the coordinates for Ilos, confidence renewed. She took the steps two at a time as she raced down to her quarters. Practically tripping over herself, she peeled off her dress and dug a fresh uniform out of her dresser. She almost didn’t hear the click of her door behind her, but a familiar static feeling prickling down her spine announced who it was. She spun around to face Kaidan. “Kaidan….”

He held up his hand to silence her. “I’m still onboard because I want to be. I don’t feel obligated to help you. I really do want to be here. Especially… here.”

“You just want me naked one more time before this blows up in our faces.” She grinned as she dropped her clothes on the floor and crossed the room to stand in front of him. “Which is understandable because I definitely want you naked at least one more time before it blows up. And, seeing as how we’re mutineers, I feel like fraternization regs are the least of our worries.”

“That is such a good point.” He wasn’t subtle as he let his gaze wander down before reaching out, grabbing her hips, and pulling her towards him. “This is probably the last chance we have, isn’t it?”

“Sad when you put it that way.”

“A little.” 

“Can I…. tell you something, Kaidan?” She tilted her head as she ran a finger down his jaw and down his neck. 

“Yeah, anything. Is something wrong?” He pulled the pins out of her hair and let it tumble down around her shoulders. Concern lurked behind his eyes.

“I’m not very good at this sort of thing…” 

“Well let me judge that.” He worked his hand into her hair and gently pulled her hair back, gently kissing her.

“I... “ She swallowed hard and cleared her throat. “Shit. I love you, Kaidan. I”ve loved you since the beginning of all of this mess. And I can’t go without saying it anymore.”

Kaidan completely froze. Only his eyes moved as they wandered over her face from her hair to her eyes to her mouth. A lump formed in her throat as a terrible feeling of dread washed over her and she started to pull away. This was stupid. Why did she think this would go over well? But instead, Kaidan kissed her roughly as he backed her up to the edge of her bed and pushed her down. She yelped and pulled him down with her, tongue still dancing over his lips as he rushed to unhook her bra and tossed it aside. Smiling into the kiss, Celeste made short work of her underwear, tossing it in the same direction her bra had been thrown, and moving her hands up to the front of his jacket. Her hands shook as she unzipped it and pushed it off of his shoulders, then sliding her hands under the shirt beneath as he hurled his jacket as far away from them as he could. His shirt soon followed, Celeste moving her hands down to his pants, eliciting one of his much-loved growls in her ear. “Dammit, woman, give me a chance to breathe.”

“Nope, all mine.” 

“I’m not letting you breathe either then.” She yelped as he scooped her up and flipped them so that she was straddling him. She wrinkled her nose at him before rolling off to take off his boots. He watched her affectionately as she gently removed them and placed them next to her bed. When she turned back around to face him, though, he recognized the look she’d given him in Flux (and so many other times). She practically pounced on him, deftly undoing his belt, unzipping his pants, and stripping him naked. She grinned at him as she ran her fingernails up the inside of his legs. When she wrapped a hand around him and took him into her mouth his hips lifted up off the bed and he groaned her name. “Celeste…. Fuck…”

She watched him intently as her head bobbed, taking as much of his as she could with each pass. After only a few, he worked his hand into her hair and pulled her up. She responded with a pout. “But..”

“Shh.” He let go of her hair to grab her hands. “Come up here with me.”

She smirked down at him. “Make me.”

“Fine.” He sat up just enough to grab her by the hips. She squealed as he rolled her over, pinning her beneath him. He lowered his lips to hers, the kiss getting gradually rougher as he slipped his tongue against hers. She relaxed, spreading her legs for him and wrapping her arms around him like she’d never let him go. He moved from her mouth along her jaw to her neck just below her ear, hot breath on her skin and a throaty growl making her whimper as she rolled her hips upward against him. Teeth scraped skin and Celeste went from a whimper to a full whine. 

“Kaidan…” It had just enough rasp to it to cut him deep. He loved making her sound like this in response to him and he wished it would never stop. He moved down her neck to her collarbone and grinned wickedly as her hips rolled against him more violently. He propped himself up to look down at her, grey eyes surprisingly warm and wide as she studied him. 

She loved him. She loved him AND told him so, leaving herself what had to be uncomfortably vulnerable. He’d paused, shocked to hear her say it, just long enough that he could tell she had started to panic. He wasn’t sure if this was an appropriate time or not but here he was. He smiled softly down at her. “Can I tell you something?”

“As long as you promise to fuck me afterwards.” Good lord, she was a firecracker. He winked at her, which seemed to catch her off guard just long enough for him to reach down to position himself against her. “What….”

“I love you, too.”

“Wait, wha…. Kaidan!” He grabbed her hips and buried himself in her to the hilt. He started out gently with her but the rougher he got, the louder and more desperate she got. She met each thrust of his with her hips, both of their breathing more and more ragged. Each time she breathed his name, he could hear it getting shakier. She wrapped her legs around him, trying to cling to him tighter as the familiar heat started forming low in her belly. He grinned down at her- he loved watching her face change with each cry of his name until her whole body spasmed in climax so intensely that their biotics arced. He crashed only a few moments after her, growling her name into her ear. He collapsed next to her as he entwined his fingers between hers and looked her straight in the eye. She looked right back, sticking out her tongue. “Haha, you love me.”

“I do,” he said, He squeezed her hand and brought it to his lips. “Maddeningly so.”

“Maddeningly so?” She feigned offense before rolling over to rest her head on her chest. “I guess that’s a two-way street.”

“At least I was able to tell you,” he said. “I’ve played out telling you a dozen times in my head but none of them went as well as that. I always thought you liked me but weren’t interested in anything that could tie you down.”

“This time last year I would probably agree with you. But you…. I don’t know what black magic you worked on me but here I am.” She kissed his chest. “We’re not out of the woods yet but I’m glad you’re in them with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't decided how I'm going to write the end game, or if I'm even going to. I have TONS of ideas to play with for the events of Mass Effect 2 (including THAT planet.) I hope that it all goes well. Thanks for reading so far! <3


	12. The Dream Becomes a Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing gold can stay, right?

Kaidan let out a sigh of relief as Saren’s reaperfied corpse fell to the ground, lifeless. Celeste staggered to the side, caught and straightened by Wrex. She waved away the concerned look on his face. “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

“Come on, it looks like we can climb up this pile of wreckage here and get back up to try to rendezvous with the rest of the group.” Kaidan pointed up to where they’d been standing just a moment before. He started climbing, with Wrex helping Celeste up behind him. His foot slipped slightly but Celeste easily caught him, giving him a reassuring smile when he looked back at her. They scaled the rubble pretty easily, and took a moment to take a deep breath. Celeste looked over towards the large window behind where the Council usually stood. A giant piece of Sovereign rubble was hurtling towards them. 

“Get down!” She yelped at them. She charged at them, ramming into them with her full body weight as the chunk of reaper came crashing into the room. Wrex hunched over Kaidan, shielding him with his body. A pile of rubble formed around them and they lost sight of Shepard.

“Celeste!” Kaidan shouted, panicked. Wrex tried to shift to see if he could see any sign of her, but he could only see more rubble. He shook his head back at Kaidan.

What seemed like hours later, they heard voices approaching, one of which was definitely Anderson. The pile of rubble in front of them started to shift, as pieces were slowly moved one by one until light and Anderson’s face became visible. Kaidan and Wrex looked over at him, partially relieved. Anderson looked between the two of them as he and several C-Sec members helped get them out of their hiding spot. “Shepard?”

Kaidan and Wrex both looked behind them at the massive pile of rubble. Kaidan’s heart sank as he looked back at Anderson and shook his head. They were all silent for a moment before they started walking out. Kaidan did a quick inspection of his armor, hiding sadness behind concern. He opened his mouth to speak when they heard a commotion behind them. 

“Really? After all of that you guys are gonna just walk off without me?” Kaidan’s head whipped around at the sound of Celeste’s voice. He scanned the wreckage as she jumped up on a destroyed planter. She was holding her right arm close to herself- probably dislocated or broken. She shot them a goofy grin. “Gonna take a lot more than that to get rid of me.”

Kaidan rushed over to where she was balanced precariously and carefully lifted her down, being mindful of her bad arm. He set her down carefully, doing a quick lookover. “Celeste…”

“Shhh. Not now.” She smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it, I’m fine.”

“Shepard!” Wrex roared with laughter. “Should’ve known it would take more than a lousy reaper to take you out!”

“You know it, Wrex.” She grinned. “I’m way harder to kill than this.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kaidan was buzzing with excitement. He patted his pocket for what had to have been the fifth or sixth time that day as he rushed towards Shepard’s temporary apartment. Wrex of all people had encouraged him to buy the ring- Kaidan had mentioned it in passing and had been surprised when the krogan’s response of “go for it.” So he had. Even as he was walking down the corridor towards her door, his mind was going a million miles a minute. Sure, she’d said she loved him, but that was before Ilos, when the entire crew had to come to terms with being mutineers. Maybe it had just seemed like a good idea at the time. He slowed his pace as he tried to push the negative thoughts out of his mind. He stopped when he reached her door, hand outstretched and ready to knock if not for a sudden insecurity. When his omni-tool beeped at him and gave him away, he sighed and knocked on her door. Merely seconds later, the door swung open with her groaning and rolling her eyes with a data pad in her hand.. 

“Did you see we gotta go back on Normandy duty tonight?” She mock pouted. “We literally got a month off from all of this and now they’re roping us back in.”

“Wait, they’re calling us in TONIGHT?” He did a double-take at his omni-tool.

“I mean… wait..” She narrowed her eyes and looked back at the data pad. “Tomorrow. We gotta go back tomorrow. They’ve got us on geth duty. Fucking bullshit patrols.”

“Are… you going to let me in or are we going to complain at each other in the hallway…?”

“Ugh, fine, come in.” She stepped back and gestured for him. She closed the door behind him calmly, turning to face him “I…”

Kaidan had her pinned to the wall within seconds. She raised an eyebrow as he grinned down at her. “If we don’t have to be there til tomorrow, that still gives us plenty of time.”

“I would have to agree with you.” He wrapped his arms around her, hoisting her up and carrying her over to her couch. She yelped when he dropped her.

“Rude!” She wrinkled up her nose in mock anger. Kaidan laughed and swatted at her legs.

“Make room for me to sit, Ella.” The recently approved nickname had only taken a few days to get acclimated to, and rewarded him with a saucy smirk from her. She moved her legs so he could sit, then scrambled to crawl into his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him enthusiastically.

Neither of them realized how tired they were until they woke up basically in the same position hours later. Celeste pouted when she tried to stretch out, joints stiff and popping. “Not how I wanted this to go, not going to lie.”

“We have plenty of time.” He smiled.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The first blast shook the Normandy and her crew without warning. Alarms started going off, and Celeste barged out of her quarters. She was grateful she had left on her armor and helmet, and she rushed to help the crew flee to the escape pods. Kaidan popped out of nowhere, injured but okay. “Joker won’t leave.”

“Shit.” Celeste rolled her eyes. “Get out of here, Kaidan.”

“But…”

“That’s an order.”

“Alright. I’ll help get the others out.”

“I’ll go get Joker.” Celeste dodged Normandy wreckage as she pushed her way up the stairs to the CIC. The entire top of the ship had been shorn off, with the stars in full view. Even as she plugged along, knocking dislodged seats out of her way, it was hard not to appreciate the beauty of the millions of stars now visible. As she approached Joker, she could see him frantically trying to manipulate the controls. Kaidan threw one more look in her direction and pushed Tali and Liara into a pod, jumping in behind them. Liara shook her head at him.

“I don’t like leaving her up there, Kaidan.”

“Yeah, well I don’t like it either. Someone has to get Joker though. We can’t leave him.” Another blast hit the ship, knocking the three of them out of their seats. Kaidan’s thoughts raced and he grunted as he smashed the release button. Their pod ejected, the trio glued to the window desperately hoping to see the last pod ejected soon. Seconds later, the mystery attacker sliced the remainder of the ship in two, and the last pod ejected. “Oh good, they’re safe.”

“Kaidan.... Shepard’s not in that pod.” Tali was frantic. “She’s right there.”

“What…?” Kaidan looked again in horror at the figure among the wreckage… and saw the air rushing out of a rupture in the back of her armor. “Celeste… no!”

The friends watched the figure get smaller in their view as their pod continued on. It occurred to them that they had probably just seen Shepard die, and Kaidan had had a front row seat to his worst nightmare.


	13. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara comes through for the crew

Liara tapped her fingers on the desk impatiently. She was waiting for an incredibly important extranet message that she could tell absolutely no one about. The mysterious woman who was supposed to send it to her put her a little on edge, chosen association aside. Liara kept telling herself she did the right thing, was currently doing the right thing, and had no reason to feel guilty or ashamed. After all, she was doing this for the greater good of the galaxy, right? 

The Alliance didn’t want to hear anything about it from her. Well, not from anyone. They put on their little show and that was the end of that. ‘How soon we forget,’ she thought. She had never smoked in her life but in this moment, she understood why Celeste had done so when stressed. She stuck the end of her pen in her mouth and looked down at the same reports she’d been trying to look at for the last two hours. She just needed this one message to come through and then she’d be fine, could go about her business like nothing had ever been wrong. She checked her terminal for the thirty-something time today, disappointed but not surprised when nothing had come in yet. She wanted to tell all of them that everything was going to be okay now, but she technically shouldn’t know about it if it got the green light. This would take so much time even if got the okay- time that would probably be nothing to her as an asari but devastating to a short lived race. She rested her head on her hand and sighed.

After what seemed like an eternity, the soft ding of an incoming message shook her out of what had turned into a nap. She inhaled slowly as she clicked on the message, anxiety at an all-time high. She read it and clapped her hands in excitement. It was a simply-worded message but made the difference of a lifetime, literally.

-’We’re moving forward with the project.’

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

*Two years later*

Celeste awoke with a start. There was some sort of alarm going off that sounded like nothing but trouble. A woman was speaking to her but it sounded like she was underwater. The second thing she noticed was the excruciating pain she was in.

‘Wait,’ she thought. She was pretty sure she was dead. 

She opened her eyes and was assaulted by bright white light that, after a few seconds, turned back into normal lighting. The strange woman’s voice was still barking at her to do something though. Something about her armor? And a pistol?

“Shepard, your armor and pistol are in the locker at the far side of the room! We don’t have time right now, you need to retrieve your equipment!” 

What? She sat up, wincing when her old rachni injury flared up with pain. She had a feeling that wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that was going to happen to her today. Waking up in the first place was definitely going to hold that title for a while. She forced herself off of the hospital bed and glanced around at the unsettling amount of medical equipment around her. Someone was definitely going to have to catch her up to speed whenever that damn alarm shut off. She crossed the room to retrieve her armor and weapon, not even wanting to know how or why they were here. She effortlessly went through all of the buckles and magnets and turned towards the door of this room. “Let’s get weird, I guess.”

The first few hallways the mysterious voice led her through seemed normal aside from that damned alarm. She was hit with a rude awakening though when she rounded a corner and barely took cover in time to avoid fire from a pack of Loki mechs. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know why they were attacking when they were most likely supposed to be standard security models. She rolled her eyes and shook her head to herself before easily taking them out. The mysterious voice continued to guide her through whatever facility this was. She dodged a huge mech she didn’t recognize the model of and rolled through a door at the end of the hall right before it shut. She struggled to her feet and turned around smack into an odd symbol on a wall that she recognized but couldn’t place- sort of a pointy white “O” with orange tails on either side. When she tried to place it, her memory was a bit foggy and she had to give up and keep moving before these mechs took her out again.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Liara smiled to herself as she managed to check off another four reports as completed. She’d adjusted to being an information broker easily, and had to admit that she’d wound up being better at it than she had expected. It had been a comforting change after Shepard’s death. Most of the crew splintered without her and went off in their own directions. She’d tried to keep in contact but it had gotten more and more difficult until it basically tapered off completely. She still had the hope of another super important extranet message even though she had no clue when it would come through. It had already been two years. Who knew how many more it would be?

She wouldn’t have to wonder for long. Minutes later, the long-awaited ding chimed from her terminal. She furrowed her brow. Was it that time already? She clicked through the terminal until she found the message she was waiting for-

-’Shepard’s awake.’


	14. Alpha and Omega

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celeste is back on the Normandy, and about to meet Omega's boss!

Celeste walked into the Normandy SR-2’s airlock with Joker beside her. It wasn’t until he gave her a reassuring squeeze of her shoulder that she realized she was shaking. Miranda and Jacob had gone ahead to get everything finalized and Celeste was beyond grateful to have the extra few moments to try to regain as much of her composure as she had left.

Of course Kaidan’s everything was classified. She’d been stupid to think she could waltz out of a Cerberus med bay and just pick up with all of her old friends. At least Tali had been kind to her at Freedom’s Progress. Genuinely kind, and helpful. It made Celeste miss Ashley intensely. Tali had somehow managed to salvage the ashtray that Ashley had kept on her workstation for her years ago. Because ‘years ago’ was going to have to be a significant part of her vocabulary now, whether she liked it or not. She looked down at the ashtray in her hands, tracing the grooves of the seashell absentmindedly while the memory of Virmire played on loop in her mind. Beside her, Joker cleared his throat softly. “You ready, Commander?”

“What? Oh, yes, of course. I guess I have to be, right?” She forced a smile and shoved the ashtray in her pocket. “Let’s go get ‘em.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

For the first time since she had woken up, Celeste was genuinely smiling. 

Joker had made sure that Cerberus painted her new armor bright pink. Alliance never let her have pink armor. Cerberus 2, Alliance 0.

She reread the message from Anderson. He had known she was alive, and he had even wanted to see her. She’d almost cried when she’d read it. Even if he was the only other person from her past besides Joker that still cared about her, she’d take it as a win. It was nice to see the Citadel again, regardless of how her return went. Plus, she really wanted the spicy noodles from Zakera Cafe. She shut down her terminal and glanced sideways at the framed photo of Kaidan that she had a sneaking suspicion that Joker arranged to wind up in her quarters. It was a great photo of him. Even made her forget for a second that she may never see him again if all anyone would tell her is that he was “classified”. Part of her hoped that he would at least still think about her from time to time. Maybe Anderson knew where to find him and would at least pass the word along.

She turned her attention to the first four dossiers good ole’ Timmy had given her. They were definitely interesting characters, to say the least. She was fascinated by the Salarian scientist that EDI recommended going after first. She was also curious about the mystery Turian that was also on Omega- Omega was starting to sound better and better. First, though, she needed a scalding hot shower. She quietly grinned to herself before stripping down and charging into her bathroom. She put the water on its hottest setting, letting the bathroom steam up enough that she couldn’t see her reflection clearly. She had a couple of scars on her face that Chakwas said they would be able to get rid of but that it would take a special part for the machine that she could fortunately probably get on Omega.

Old gang past Celeste was actually really looking forward to Omega.

She stepped into the shower, hissing when the slightly-too-hot water hit a scar on her arm that was still sensitive. When she looked down to inspect it, she was saddened to see that it ran right through the center of the bottom rose in her tattoo. “Shit.”

She heard a ding from her terminal and scowled. She showered quickly, trying not to think about the night after the defeat of Saren and Sovereign when she and Kaidan had spent approximately ten and a half hours fucking each other sideways. There was something about her tattoo that had always caught his eye, even the first time he saw it the night she went after Finch. She rushed through washing her hair and practically tripped over herself getting out of the shower. She dried off, scowling when she heard another ding from the other room. She reached for her bottle of perfume and nearly gagged when she smelled it. She did a double take at the label- it was definitely the perfume she normally wore, and she had gotten it from the same asari on the Citadel where she always shopped for smell-good stuff. Why did it turn her stomach now? Maybe Chakwas knew about it. She tossed the bottle aside.

Wrapping a towel around herself, she slipped out of the bathroom and walked over to her private terminal to see who or what was bothering her. She was baffled to see that one of the messages came from an unfamiliar name belonging to someone related to Omega. She wasn’t sure how this Aria woman found out that they were literally an hour or so out from Omega, but she did and she wanted to speak to Shepard ASAP. Maybe she could ask her if Omega had a good tattoo shop.

“Shepard, we are an hour out from Omega,” EDI’s voice still startled her whenever she cut in. She was incredibly wary of the AI but nowhere near as bad as Joker, who railed against her at every given opportunity.

“Thanks, EDI. Please let Miranda and Kasumi know that they’ll be joining me. Casual clothing until we know more about Mordin and Archangel. I want us to just look like more clubgoers.”

“Yes, Shepard.”

Celeste grinned. It was a leather pants kind of night.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Afterlife was loud. Heavy bass pumped through the club as Celeste, Kasumi, and Miranda wove their way in between patrons. More than a few went out of their way to get the women’s attention but Celeste merely smirked at most of them as they pushed past. A turian guard at the edge of the dance floor motioned for them to follow him. Up the stairs behind him and around a corner on a too-shiny black couch was an intense-looking asari in a strappy black outfit with a cropped white jacket that didn’t look amused. Celeste stepped forward, barely paying any attention to the batarian guard who stepped forward next to her to scan her with his omni-tool. She never broke eye contact with the asari, who she assumed must be Aria T’Loak. When the scan was done, Aria jerked her head to a side couch. Miranda and Kasumi stayed put and stood guard at the top of the staircase while Celeste lowered herself onto the couch next to her.

“Real subtle, Shepard.” She smirked at Celeste.

“What? We came in without armor, no visible weapons. We look like any other clubbers.”

“Your friends, maybe. Your face has been plastered all over the news. It’s not often that dead Spectres waltz onto Omega. I make it my business to keep tabs on dead Spectres.”

“You know many dead Spectres?”

“No.” Aria. “And that’s why you’re a problem.”

“I’ve been a problem to a lot of people in my life.”

“Don’t be so flippant, Shepard,” she spat. Celeste put up her hands in mock surrender.

“Alright, alright.” She tried not to smile. “I would like some information, if you’re willing to give it to me.”

“What do you want to know?”

“I’m here looking for two people specifically. Mordin Solus…”

“Mordin?” Aria blinked at her.

“Yeah, do you know him?”

Aria cackled. “He’s brilliant. Never shuts up, but he’s brilliant. He’ll also kill you as soon as heal you.”

“Sounds like someone I need to meet. Where can I find him?”

“He runs a clinic in the middle of the plague district.” Aria shook her head. “Good luck dealing with the vorcha on the way, but if you can come back from the dead, I’m sure a couple of vorcha aren’t going to stop you.”

“The other person I’m looking for is Archangel…”

“You’re looking for some VERY interesting people, Shepard.”

“What’s so interesting about Archangel?” Celeste asked.

“Archangel is an unknown. He showed up a year and a half or couple of years and decided to pick a fight with every merc group here. I don’t know who he is or how he’s managed to hold off the mercs for so long, but word has reached me that the merc groups are teaming up to take him out even though they all hate each other.”

“This is all very interesting.”

“Yes, it is, Shepard. And it’s even more interesting that you are here asking these questions about these people. You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Well, I hope this works out for you, Shepard.” Aria looked over at her and relaxed slightly. “You should find a man here to take the edge off with.”

“Yeah I’ll keep that in mind.”


	15. Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tattoos, tattoos, and... yeah, more tattoos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack is my personal favorite squadmate so I couldn't WAIT to pick her up in the fic!

Celeste winced as the tattoo artist put the color onto the scar running through one of her roses. She’d been thrilled to find out that Dayle still had her shop on the Citadel. Dayle had obviously initially been shocked to find out Celeste was still alive, but then cleared her entire schedule for her for the day for the appointment, gossip, and drinks.

“So, I gotta ask,” Dayle grinned. “How is the whole team?”

“Honestly I don’t know about everyone.” Celeste glanced down at her arm. “You remember Tali? The quarian? She’s kicking ass and taking names with her own team!”

“Oh good to hear. We’re adding another rose, right?”

“Yeah, take this shit all the way down to the elbow, why not? New me, new ink or something.”

“What about Garrus?”

“Oh, boy. That mess. So he decided after I died that he was tired of all of the agencies not doing anything about it so he went badass vigilante, wound up on Omega, and got the rival mercenary groups there all so riled up that they actually teamed up together to take him down. He wound up taking a rocket to the face but he’s fine. He’s on the Normandy as we speak.” 

“No shit! Good for him. You should bring him by some time so I can ogle him.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Dayle.”

“Okay so what about the doctor?” Dayle furrowed her brow in concentration as she started on the new rose.

“Liara? She’s… well, I think? I got a very brief message from her the other day checking in but not really any specific info. She’s resourceful, more than any of us, so I’m confident she’s doing well.”

“She seemed like such a fun person to be around. Bit nerdy.”

“Definitely. Then there’s her polar opposite, Wrex. All I know about him is that he’s back on Tuchanka. Trying to get the krogan to cooperate or something. The Illusive Man didn’t have much info on him, unfortunately.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“The person you haven’t said anything about. How’s Kaidan?”

“I know absolutely nothing about him. No one who does know will tell me anything because I’m with Cerberus. And Timmy says he hasn’t been able to find out anything either. Supposedly.”

“Oh no. You gotta know someone who can get info for you. What about that Aria chick on Omega?”

“I can put out feelers I guess. I found some info on a planned coup and gave it to her. I might be able to call in favor but I honestly don’t know that she gives a shit about anything outside of Omega.”

“I’ll tell you what.” Dayle wiped the tattoo and sat back a little to look at it from a different angle. “No promises but I have a fuck buddy that works for C-Sec. I’m not sure how much info he has access to, but he might be able to tell if, say, Kaidan pops by to see Anderson or Udina.”

“A fuck buddy in C-Sec? How’d that happen?”

“Ran into him in Dark Star. You’d like it. You should stop by some time and check it out. Lana goes a lot.”

“Oh my god, Lana. Does she know I’m alive yet?”

“Yeah, I told her right before your appointment, actually. I’m surprised she didn’t insist on staying through it.”

“We have to get two more crew members stat, but when we have them, I’ll find time to come back by and we can make a night of it.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The fresh tattoo stung smartly underneath her armor as she stared into the burning hatred that lay behind Jack’s eyes. She recognized it from her days on the streets on Earth. The level of carnage that Jack left behind her for them to crawl through was almost beautiful in a way. If they were all on the same side, the Collectors might actually face a pretty legitimate threat. She studied Jack for a moment, noticing that she kept eyeing the Cerberus logo on the Normandy.

“Why are you even here?” Jack scowled.

“We’re here to…” Miranda piped up.Celeste put her hand up to silence her.

“I need your help, Jack,” She said. “Human colonies are getting wiped out and I’m building a team to go after them. I would like it if we could convince you to join us. Also, if you stay here you’ll probably die since this station is about to blow soooo… you know.”

Jack glanced back out the window at the Normandy as she sneered. “I have a requirement.”

“Alright.”

“I need info about Cerberus. Like the info that they hide on the extranet. Dirty details, sketchy dealings, all of it.”

“That’s outrageous!” Miranda shouted.

“Oh look- it upsets the Cerberus cheerleader. Even better.”

“It will be fine.” Celeste glanced back at Miranda and gave her a thumbs up. She glanced back at Jack. “What do you say if I agree to that?”

Jack’s lips curled up into a vindictive smirk. “Let’s blow this joint.”

Celeste could hear Garrus snickering behind her as she took the lead, walking the team through the long hallway leading to the dock where the Normandy was waiting for them. Jack glanced around suspiciously as they went, obviously prepared to fuck someone up at a moment’s notice. They easily cut down the few mercs between them and the ship. Joker had the door to the airlock open for them as they rushed up. Jack was reluctant to walk into it. When she did duck in, she made sure to keep as far away from Miranda as possible. After the airlock cycled, Miranda stormed out of the airlock and headed directly towards her quarters. Garrus flared his mandibles and squeezed her shoulder before he also trudged out. Celeste glanced over and Jack and winked. “Lemme know if you find anything particularly salacious, will you? I wouldn’t mind having some ammo to use against these fuckers when this inevitably goes south.”

“Let’s see what I find. No promises. I’ll see if you make good on your word first.” They stepped out of the airlock. Joker spun his chair to say something to Celeste and froze at the sight of Jack. Celeste rolled her eyes. 

“Joker, meet Jack. Jack, meet Joker.” She shrugged and walked back towards the CIC with Jack. She walked slowly so that Jack could look around at everything as they passed between the Cerberus staff. Externally, Jack exuded calm and indifference, but Celeste could sense the underlying tension. “Jack, we have a number of places you can set up shop in….”

“I’ll be somewhere dark and out of the way. Keep your people off me, Shepard.” Jack walked up and smashed the elevator button. “I’ll stick to the bottom of the ship.”

She stepped into the elevator. She made deliberate eye contact with her as the door closed. 

Celeste grinned. She definitely already liked Jack.


	16. Ladies' Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and forth a LOT on how Celeste and Jack would get along. I'm still not 100% sure what sort of friendship I want them to have but I thinks Celeste is very different from the people Jack is used to.

Lana tried not to let her nerves get to her. Celeste had recruited her for something she needed to do on Omega and Lana had never been that far from home before in her life, spending the majority of it on the Citadel. Celeste had sold her on it as a girls’ night out in Afterlife, but it was apparently a cover for Celeste to look into something shady for Aria. Meanwhile, Lana had been brought on board the Normandy for the travel to Omega. Some of the crew looked at her curiously but kept any questions to themselves once they saw Celeste hovering around her. Chambers was a dear, at least.

“You looking forward to a different club scene?” Celeste grinned. She’d donned her favorite leather pants and bustier to show off her improved tattoo.

“I’m looking forward to a different dating pool for sure.”

“Dating pool? You don’t even date on the Citadel.” Celeste gave her a quick once over. She’d picked a simple sleeveless black dress with a high neck. “You look fantastic, by the way.”

“So what exactly are the two of us supposed to do for this?”

“Three. Jack’s coming with us.” Celeste toyed with her hair. “Hair up or hair down?”

“Up. Makes you look like a little bit of a dom.” Lana was intrigued. “Who’s Jack? Is he cute?”

“I don’t know if ‘cute’ is the word I’d use for her, but you’ll probably dig her.”

“Wait, ‘her’?”

“Yep. You’re stuck with me, Red,” Jack said as she stepped out of the elevator. Lana turned to look at the source of the voice. “Let’s do this and get it over with, Shepard.”

“Ooooh, hello,” Lana said under her breath. Celeste snorted. Jack raised an eyebrow.

“Commander, we’re approaching Omega.” Joker’s voice crackled over the comms.

“Thanks Joker.” Celeste grinned. “Are we ready, ladies?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste swirled the bourbon in her glass as she watched an awkward but attractive man trying to flirt with Lana. Jack sidled up next to her and watched. She looked at Celeste and scoffed. “Think she’s gonna go for it?”

“I’m not sure. I told her she can't bring anyone I don’t know back onto the ship but she’s pretty resourceful if she really wants someone. He’s definitely cute.”

“Why aren’t you out there with her?” Jack’s voice was surprisingly soft for a split second. Celeste looked at her, concerned. She shrugged it off and looked between the Afterlife patrons.

“I’m holding onto a foolish hope that I’ll be reunited with… someone who is very special to me. I’m not optimistic though.” She faked a smile.

“Is he hot?” Jack snorted. “He better be if you’re gonna hold out for him. Personally, I don’t do attachment.”

“When we get back on the ship, I’ll show you a picture.” Celeste threw her head back and slammed the rest of her bourbon. “In the meantime, I’m going to keep drinking.”

Jack turned and motioned for the bartender to bring another round. “What are you even drinking, Shepard?”

“It’s my favorite bourbon, actually.” Celeste grinned. “I’ve gone a really long time without it. You know, being dead for two years.”

“I’ll try almost anything once.’ Jack straightened as the bartender brought over two glasses. “So remind me what we’re actually doing here?”

Celeste tilted her head towards her, keeping her gaze set on Lana.“Honestly, we’re just bait. Aria’s people have eyes one us and are ready to step in if necessary. And then we get to hang out on Aria’s dime

“Traffickers or something, right?”

“Yeah. Aria’s noticed a few club regulars vanishing. It annoys her to have to deal with it, but if she’s set on remaining the queen of Omega or whatever, she has to keep as much control as possible. We already stumbled across one plot against her while we were going after Garrus.”

“No shit, is that how Vakarian took that rocket to the face?” She sniffed the bourbon and looked pleasantly surprised. 

“Yeah. Never a dull moment with me around, even when I’m dead apparently.” She looked over at Jack and grinned. “Though from what you’ve told me, my life may actually be dull compared to yours.”

“It’s definitely been…. Fucking eventful.” Jack scoffed. “Which reminds me. As much as I hate having to rely on anyone or anything, I finished looking into the data you made the Cheerleader give me and I found a name. Pragia.”

“Pragia? Is that a scientist or a doctor or something?”

“No.” Jack set down her glass hard. “It’s where the facility is. Was… maybe still is.”

“Yeah, of course. Who do you want to find there?”

“It’s supposedly abandoned, but it doesn’t matter. I wanna go there with a big fucking bomb and blow the place sky high.”

“Ah.” Celeste winced at the involuntary memory of Virmire and the decision she had to make there. Jack noticed but said nothing. “If it’s important to you, I’d be happy to help.”

“Wait… really?” Jack shifted her weight uncomfortably.

“Of course. Why?”

“I never trust anyone so I don’t really believe when someone agrees to help me. Shit I don’t even really believe you will, Shepard, but at least you said yes.” Her face slipped back into the casual indifference from the moment before.

The awkward man had convinced Lana to dance with him. She glanced over at Celeste who gave her an exaggerated thumbs-up before looking back at Jack. “You can call me Celeste, you know. If you want. Last names are so military sounding and we’re hardly military here, if you haven’t noticed.”

Jack frowned as she sipped the bourbon. “See, but you are. We’re not the same, Shepard.”

“No, of course not. I know you won’t believe a goddamn word from me right now, but I’ll tell Miranda to give you access to my files if you prefer to make your own judgement.”

“Maybe, Shepard. Maybe.”


	17. Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celeste gets some great news.... or so she thinks. The reality doesn't live up.

Celeste managed to hold it together as the hologram of the Illusive Man faded out. The human colony on Horizon was a probable target of the Collectors. They actually had a fucking lead and might be able to get the team on the ground safely, assuming that Mordin’s brilliance came through for them with his research on the swarms. Apparently word of the installation of some very large defense guns had reached quite a number of ears.

And then there was the thorn Timmy had made sure to stick in her side- Kaidan was there, repping the Alliance and trying to help get the defense towers operational. She might get to see him, even if only for a minute.

She inhaled slowly. She held in the breath for a moment, then let it out slowly. This was going to need a larger team than normal. She had no idea what they’d be facing, or what the figures in Veetor’s footage were capable of. Did they have biotics? Armor? How fast could they move? What shitty moves did they have waiting?

She shook her head and detoured into Mordin’s lab. He looked up briefly as she walked in but didn’t otherwise acknowledge her. She watched him move around the lab for a few minutes as she tried to calm herself down. He eventually came to a stop and looked directly at her, curious. “Mordin, we have a location. Do you have good news for me?”

The salarian smiled. “Yes.”

“You do?!” Her jaw dropped. “That’s terrific! Good work, Mordin.”

He nodded at her before shooing her out of the lab. Grinning, she walked out into the CIC confidently. Now all she had to do was decide who to bring with her. If Kaidan really was there, it would be nice if Garrus got to say hello, plus having such a gifted sniper definitely wouldn’t hurt. She turned around and smashed the elevator button to go up to her quarters. She shoved down the inkling of doubt that was creeping into the back of her mind. Mordin’s armor coating was going to work. They were going to get to Horizon in time.

She might see Kaidan for the first time in two years. But that’s not what was important right now.

‘Anyway,’ she thought to herself. Garrus for sure but who else? Mordin? His abilities would definitely be useful against organics, plus having the person who engineered the suit protection on the ground next to her could only be a boon. And for the third…. Jack? Her biotics were almost unreal. Celeste grinned. They might actually have a shot after all.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste nudged the dead husk with her foot. “Garrus, is it just me or do these husks look different than the ones we had to fight two years ago?

“What? Let me look.” He stooped down to look at the glowing blue bits. “Actually, yes. What the fuck.”

“You’ve seen these before?” Jack looked shocked.

“Yes. Well, kind of. Husks but slightly different. I don’t know why we’re seeing these again.” She watched as Mordin also stooped over to look at the husk. “Must take samples. Will see if anything might be helpful.”

Celeste turned her attention to a nearby Collector, one that Harbinger has briefly possessed before its death. Something wasn’t quite adding up and she couldn’t put her finger on it to save her life. “Come on. We can’t waste any more time if we’re gonna try to save as many of these colonists as possible.”

She reloaded her pistol and jerked her head in the direction of the garage. They trudged over to the garage door, and Celeste poked around the door controls. A few seconds later, the shutter door lifted. They were all surprised to see no one was inside.

“Um…,” Jack raised an eyebrow. “If no one’s in here, who closed the garage door?”

Celeste caught a brief glimpse of a shadow on the floor in a corner. “I can see you, you know. We’re not Collectors.”

There was a brief pause before a man slowly walked out from behind a stack of storage containers. He was most definitely not happy to see them. He sneered as he looked between the four of them. “More useless Alliance help, I presume?”

“No, we’re not with the Alliance. Not anymore.”

“Well if you’re here to help, you might as well keep moving. Your Alliance pal here hasn’t been able to get these guns up and running despite a mountain of promises.”

“Alliance pal?” Mordin rubbed his chin. “Odd. Wonder if coincidence that Cerberus got word of attack.”

“I don’t know, Mordin. But I do have a sneaking suspicion that I know who is here. Regardless…. Wait. Who are you and why are you still here?”

“Name’s Delan,” he told them reluctantly. “Saw the swarm coming and ran here. Judge me if you want.”

“No, I’m actually glad you’re here. Kind of. What’s going on with the giant guns?”

“We didn’t want them. We were fine out here without the Alliance butting in. I bet we’d have been safe if not for them. Your Alliance pal hasn’t been able to get them up and running so what good are they except to put a giant fuckng target on us.”

“This Alliance rep…”

“Feel free to take him with you when you leave.” Delan spat. “Listen, I’ll open this other door for you but I’m locking it behind you. I don’t want no part of this mess.”

“Yeah, probably best if you keep hiding here.” Jack rolled her eyes and walked towards the rear door of the garage. Celeste nodded at Delan, motioning for the rest of the group to follow. Delan made good, opening the door, and closed it behind them promptly. 

They worked their way through a network of empty buildings until they reached the starport. Celeste ran over to the transmitter tower in the middle of the courtyard. She keyed in a couple of commands and was rewarded by the sound of the transmitter powering up. Unfortunately, she also caught the attention of a couple of what Mordin referred to as “Scions”, horribly mutated-looking creatures clearly made up of clumps of Husk parts. Everyone ducked behind cover as Celeste ran towards them, trying to keep from shrieking. She ducked down next to Garrus. “I hate these fucking things.”

“Same.” He popped up to take a few shots before crouching back down. “On the bright side, it looks like the transmitter is online.”

“Well that's good news at least.” It was her turn to pop up and fire- her shot put down the Scion that was closer to them. “One down!”

Jack unleashed a powerful shockwave that knocked down the remaining Scion. The rest of them stood and unleashed their concentrated fire on it. When it didn’t stand up, Celeste sighed with relief and approached the transmitter tower. She flipped a switch, and they were relieved when the GARDIAN towers began firing upon the Collector ship. It was short-lived, however, as the ship lifted off to get away… presumably with the colonists on board. Celeste clasped her hands behind her head. “FUCK!”

“No, no no!” Delan appeared behind. “They’re still in there! Lilith’s gone. And the others! Of course you’re still here.”

“Shepard, we should get back to the Normandy.” Garrus flared his mandibles. Mordin got a few scans of the corpses.”

“Shepard? Why does that name sound familiar?” Delan furrowed his brow. Garrus froze and stared behind Celeste but she didn’t pay attention until a familiar voice came from the same direction.

“You’re talking to a hero. Savior of the Citadel, first human Spectre.” Celeste’s breath caught in her throat as she heard Kaidan’s voice. Jack looked between her and Kaidan as Celeste turned around to face him.

“Oh of course YOU made it.” Angry, Delan stormed off. Garrus nudged her forward.

“Kaidan….” She forced herself forward as Kaidan approached her. She threw her arms around him, forcing herself not to cry.

“Shepard….” Uh-oh. “I’d heard the rumors but didn’t believe them.”

“It’s… really, really good to see you.” Celeste reluctantly stepped back. “The Illusive Man said…”

Kaidan frowned. He took a step back and looked around at the others. “So it’s true. You’re working with Cerberus.”

“Reluctantly. They’re the only ones that seem to be doing anything about…”

“Did you forget what we found them doing?” The look in his eyes went cold. 

“Trust me, waking up in a Cerbers facility isn’t exactly a highlight of my life, but they helped heal me and bring me back, and they’re backing me going after the Collectors.”

“You’ve changed, haven’t you, Shepard?” He looked over at Garrus. “And you too, Garrus? Really?”

“You’re missing the bigger picture here, Kaidan!” He shook his head.

“You could join us. I need a team to go after them.”

“I would NEVER work for Cerberus.” His expression turned to blatant disdain. “I can’t believe you can either. I loved you, remember? You show up here suddenly after two years working for them and you expect me to just go along with it after thinking you were dead? You couldn’t even let me know so I wouldn’t find out like this?”

‘Loved.’ Not ‘love.’ The familiar mood shift that felt like a literal switch being flipped behind her eyes crept over he and she hardened her gaze. “Kaidan, I was dead. I just woke up a couple of weeks ago and…”

“Goodbye, Shepard.” He looked at her sadly and turned away. “Good luck with everything.”

“You’re walking away like this?” Garrus sounded angrier than Celeste had ever heard. She held up her hand to silence him. Kaidan met her eyes one last time. She felt her anger wash over her face.”

“Fine. Goodbye, Kaidan.” She crossed her arms and looked away. She couldn’t watch him walk away but she would be damned if he saw her cry. She looked over and muttered to Garrus. “Tell me when he’s gone.”

The four of them stood in silence as Kaidan disappeared behind a nearby building. Garrus nodded to her, and, as if there was a string holding her upright that had been cut, she instantly fell to her knees on the ground, holding herself upright with her hands and squeezing her eyes closed as they burned with tears. Garrus stooped next to her and put his hand on hers. “Hey, let’s get back to the ship so you can be alone. You’re shaking.”

“Just… give me a minute.”

“Please tell me that asshole is NOT the dude you told me about on Omega.” Jack’s voice was dripping with obvious disdain. Garrus shook his head and motioned for her to shut up.

Meanwhile, Kaidan climbed the stairs to the room he’d been using as his lodging during his time on Horizon. Something made him pause and he looked over in the direction where he’d seen Celeste. He was surprised to see her on her hands and knees on the ground, obviously feeling defeated. The salarian that was with her was doing something with his omni-tool as a shuttle with a Cerberus logo landed on the ground nearby. The heavily tattooed woman looked ready for a fight, fists clenched and arms flexed. Celeste eventually stood up with the aid of Garrus and the tattooed woman and they helped her over to the shuttle. A pang of guilt ran through him- Celeste prided herself on stoicism and deflection but seemed incapable of either right then. But she was there, working with Cerberus, who had done horrible, horrible experiments on innocent subjects. Who knew if she was even human anymore.

He was instantly pissed off at himself for thinking that. Of course she was human, and she was on the front line fighting the Collectors, just like he was. He didn’t have to like it but she was. And at least she had her best friend with her there when he couldn’t be. He turned away sadly as they climbed into the shuttle and headed into his room. The door clicked behind him as the shuttle lifted off and the paths went separate ways.


	18. Celeste at the Dark Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fallout from Horizon

“You MOTHERFUCKER!” Celeste hurled the framed photo of Kaidan across the room. Her chest heaved as she tried to rein in her anger. Garrus was seated in her desk chair, tapping a finger on the desk calmly and watching her meltdown. She clenched her fists so tightly that her knuckles went completely white. She wound back to punch her desk but Garrus caught her fist.

“Listen I'm all for working this out but please don’t make me be the one who has to walk you to Chakwas and explain why half your hand is broken.”

“I am so fucking angry right now. Does he REALLY think that I didn’t try everything to get ahold of him? Does he think that Anderson handed him to me on a golden platter but I completely ignored him?” She snarled. “And before you start on me, YES I understand that seeing me after two years of me being dead is a doozy. He didn’t have to be a prick about it. Especially in front of you three.”

Garrus nodded and looked at her carefully. When he didn’t add to what she had said, she rolled her eyes and threw up her arms. “Shepard, I don’t know what you expect me to do or say.”

She slumped slightly, shaking her head and looking over at the empty fish tank. “I can’t even handle pet fish, Garrus. I’m beyond useless.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘useless’, Celeste.”

“Oh you wouldn’t? What would you say, then?”

“I feel like “complex” would be appropriate.” He grinned. Celeste couldn’t help but grin back. “So how did the debriefing with Timmy go?”

“Turns out he deliberately leaked info to the Alliance that Cerberus (and I) would be going to Horizon. He literally set up that entire debacle.” She flushed with anger again. “I’m sick of this asshole tossing me around like bait. Now he wants us to go to Ilium to pick up two more on this list- an asari justicar and apparently some assassin. There’s also an information broker there who must know what’s up bc they sent me an anonymous extranet message to meet them before doing anything else there.”

“That could be interesting.”

“Could be? It already is. Having an information broker that we can call upon at a moment’s notice is going to be kickass.”

“Well, let’s see how the first meeting goes before you get too excited.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste practically charged up the steps leading to Liara’s office. She liked Liara, of course, but never imagined being this happy to see someone in her entire life. She took the last few steps two at a time. She’d almost hugged Careena when she found out Liara had taken care of the fees and paperwork for the Normandy to dock, and she walked right past Nyxeris at the top of the stairs and into Liara’s office. A man that was having a conversation with Liara abruptly hung up when Celeste crashed into her office. Liara turned and smiled broadly at her, holding out her arms so that Celeste could run up and hug her.

“Liara! I was hoping it would be you.” She squeezed Liara into a bear hug. “I wish you could come with us. Wait… can you come with us?”

“Not right now, unfortunately. I have so much to do here. But it is good to see you, and I hope you will stay in contact.”

“Of course I will.” She reluctantly stepped back from Liara, jerking her head back over her shoulder. “Of course I can’t hog all of your attention. Garrus had to come with.”

“Of course! It is so good to see you as well Garrus. I assume you’ve been quite useful and supportive to her.” Garrus nodded. Liara glanced over at Miranda. “And you of course must be Miranda Lawson. It is good to meet you in person.”

“Ah, you’ve met! Good.” Celeste smiled. “I have a feeling I don’t want to know how so I’ll just be grateful.”

“Indeed.” Liara’s face fell just the slightest bit. “I hate to seem inhospitable, but may Celeste and I have some privacy?”

“Uh…” Celeste looked between Liara and her friends. “Yeah, of course.”

Garrus turned and left the room without hesitation. Miranda was significantly less enthusiastic but didn’t argue. When both were out of the room, Celeste’s expression flattened out as she plopped down in the chair at the desk. She sighed loudly.

“I heard what happened on Horizon…”

“Of course you did.” Celeste frowned. “Which version did you hear?”

“Very little. I know that The Illusive Man isn’t completely on the up and up and that information was leaked to the Alliance to set up you and Kaidan running into each other…”

“Hey, at least instead of constantly thinking about him and wondering if he was okay, I know he hates me now and am less upset Anderson wouldn’t tell me anything about him.”

“What do you mean?”

“The first thing I did after getting the SR-2 was go to the Citadel to see Anderson. I asked about Kaidan and he would only tell me anything to do with him was classified and he wouldn’t tell me as long as I was working with Cerberus. So yeah- we got thrown together on Horizon deliberately. And he walked away from me, saying he had loved me but I changed.”

“He watched the attack you know. With Tali and me.”

“Attack? On Horizon?”

“No, the first Normandy. You sent him away to get us into a pod while you went after Joker. We… saw… You know. Your suit rupture.”

“Wait….,” Celeste’s heart sank. “You mean… he watched me die?”

“We all did.” Liara smiled sadly. “I knew that couldn’t be the end. I was very fortunate that Ms Lawson contacted me not long afterwards.”

“Liara, are you saying you turned me over to Cerberus?”

“Yes,” Liara said defiantly. She sat down across from Celeste. “The Alliance wouldn’t do anything! They had a funeral and then turned their backs on all of us, especially Joker! I still don’t think he’s forgiven himself for the whole mess, and I think some of the survivors blamed him as well. I slipped the Illusive Man a recommendation, though, and knew he couldn’t resist getting Joker in the cockpit the minute you woke up. Which, by the way, Miranda informed me of the minute you got off that station. I do not trust Cerberus in the slightest, but they brought you back and I know deep down Miranda has the best of intentions. The Illusive Man will tell too many lies eventually, and she’ll splinter off, I would bet.”

“You know, Liara, when we met you, you told us how often people underestimated you because of your age. I’m so proud of you for shoving all that back in their faces. You’ve been a good friend to me… to all of us... Even when we may not have deserved you to be.”

“That means a lot to me, Shepard.” She smiled. “Meet me back here when you beat the Collectors and we’ll have a proper catchup.”

“It’s a date.”

“In the meantime, I heard from, of all people, your friend Lana on the Citadel.”

“What the fuck... Lana reached out to you? How is she?”

“Oddly enough, she has information that we’ll both find useful.” Liara… smirked? “Namely Garrus. You know, she has very good potential to be an information broker some day.”

“I’ll let her know.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

“Why the fuck do we keep winding up in nightclubs trying to get shit done?” Celeste grumbled. Garrus held her steady as she stepped into her heels.

“Because it’s the best place to pick up information that people don’t realize is important, Shepard,” EDI responded. Celeste glared over at the AI’s hologram on the wall.

“Yes, thank you, EDI.” Celeste stuck out her tongue. “Don’t get me wrong, though, I love the dress. Gotta thank Kasumi for this one.”

“Yes, a nice dress is totally a fair trade for nearly being blown up by a psychopath in a gunship.” Garrus shook his head.

“It’s better than what YOU got for getting blown up by a psychopath in a gunship. Albeit, the ladies really do love your scars now. I’m grateful Dayle helped cover mine.” She gestured at the freshly-healed addition to her tattoo. “Alright, let’s go. Who all is coming with us?

“It’s Jack again.”

“She’s been awfully sociable.”

“I’m pretty sure she’s coming along for one specific reason.”

“She hates people.” Celeste shrugged. “Whatever. She’s the most dangerous without a weapon so I am not complaining.”

Celeste glanced around the CIC as they waited for Jack to join them. She closed her eyes for a brief second and inhaled slowly. She didn't know why but a nagging doubt in the back of her mind was screaming that something about this wasn’t right. The sound of the elevator’s doors opening behind her shook her back to reality, and she did a double-take when Jack stepped out… In a completely different outfit than what anyone onboard was used to seeing her in. She was wearing a cropped black tank top with a strappy leather vest over it, an elbow-length fingerless glove on her right arm, jeans with a sort of built-in kneepad, and over-the-knee strappy buckled boots. Celeste blinked a few times, looked at Garrus, looked back at Jack, then shrugged and started off towards the airlock. Jack and Garrus shrugged and followed her.

Directly outside of the airlock was a rapid transit stop. Celeste picked out a bright red cab and climbed into the driver’s seat. Garrus groaned. “Celeste I know you were dead for two years but can we not have the Mako all over again?”

“It’ll be fine. Get in, losers, we’re going to the Dark Star.” She grinned, jerking her thumb towards the back seat of the cab. Jack tumbled in without arguing. Garrus, of course, was dreading every last minute of this but got into the cab behind Jack. When the cab lurched off the ground, he shook his head as Celeste cackled. “Relax, Garrus, I did that to get a rise out of you.”

The cab ride was short, but just long enough for Garrus to explain Shepard’s terrible Mako driving to Jack, who was also cackling by the time they pulled into the stop nearest the club. Garrus eagerly rolled out of the cab, holding both hands out for the women to grab. Jack, of course, ignored it as she climbed out, eyes darting all over as much of that level of the Zakera Ward as possible as Celeste made her best effort to climb out of the cab somewhat gracefully without flashing everyone. He held out her arm for her to hold as they walked up to the doors of the club. They were waved in, and Garrus felt Celeste immediately relax. She squeezed his arm. “We’re looking for Lana. She said she has a table over on the left side of the main room.”

They walked around the dancefloor slowly, with Celeste scanning the crowd quickly. It wasn’t hard to spot Lana, thanks to her hair. She waved enthusiastically, motioning for them to join her. She practically tackled Celeste as they walked up.”Ella!”

“Oh Lana, I’ve missed you.” Celeste planted an enthusiastic kiss on her and threw her arms around her.

“Next time you die and get brought back, can you give me a heads up?”

“Deal.”

“Alright so.” Lana grinned wickedly. “I have someone here with me that needs to talk to your buddy Garrus here. Which leaves you two ladies free to party for the night to welcome Celeste Shepard back to the realm of the living.”

“Oh god, you always give a terrible speech like that when you have tequila planned. I have not been awake long enough for tequila.”

“Relax. I ordered your stupid Kaidan bourbon.” Lana rolled her eyes as she motioned to a nearby bartender who set to work pouring drinks. Jack looked at Celeste curiously for a brief moment. Then, she went back to scanning the crowd. Celeste could feel her face fall. “What happened, Ella? Liara told me that you ran into him on Horizon.”

“That didn’t go well.” Garrus piped up. “What does your friend have to tell me?”

“I don’t know most of it. But I know that your buddy Sidonis is on the Citadel. Just so happens that my brother knows him.” Lana subtly pointed to a redheaded man at a table opposite them. “Can’t miss him. We have the same hair. If anyone but him asks, you never met us, obviously.”

Garrus practically launched himself across the room. The women were left to crowd into the booth next to Lana. A waitress brought over a tray of drinks the bartender had poured for them. Lana handed everything out before waving the woman away. Celeste reached out for her bourbon eagerly. She cleared her throat and let herself make eye contact with Lana. “Kaidan wants nothing to do with me since I’m with Cerberus. So that’s over with.”

Lana tilted her head to study her face. She gingerly took her tequila shot, set down the shot glass, and rubbed her hands together. “I’m really sorry to hear that. You guys were good.”

“Well, you know. Nothing gold can stay, right?” Celeste chugged the bourbon and put her glass down on the table. “I feel like maybe I need a new drink.”

“Well this is a celebration, so what about champagne? Or, you know, vodka or something.” Lana shot a look over at Jack. “What do you drink?”

“Just about anything.” She smirked. “Though if you two princesses are down for a round of red headed sluts, that’s okay by me.”

Celeste stared at her without blinking for a few seconds, then she and Lana both started giggling. Lana looked at Celeste accusingly. “Ella, did you tell her to say that? That was our little joke!”

“No, I didn’t tell her shit.” She grinned. “Jack’s not really the friends type. I’m surprised she even agreed to come with me.”

“Listen, you said we were drinking and maybe getting laid. I’m okay with that.” 

“Ooooh, you told her you were getting laid?” Lana smiled.

“I told her she was probably getting laid and I would consider it.” Celeste shook her head. “Now that Kaidan’s out of the picture, I’m not completely opposed to the idea.”

“Good, because there is someone who’s had an eye on you since you walked in, Ella.”

“Oh I spoke too soon.” Celeste rubbed her temples as Lana cackled. When she looked up, she scanned the crowd to find whoever Lana was talking about. It didn’t take long to find who it was- a tall man with dark hair and piercing eyes about the same color as hers. He was leaning against the bar nearby, the same where Lana was ordering drinks. 

“Ella I swear to god if you don’t climb him like a jungle gym I’m never going to forgive you.”

“Wow you are really annoyingly invested in Shepard’s sex life, aren’t you?” Jack raised an eyebrow.

“Ella’s my oldest dearest friend. It’s my job.”

“How’s your standing arrangement with your C-Sec friend?” Celeste looked back at her directly. Lana smiled.

“Really well, thank you. He might join us later, even.”

“Well this is turning into a chick flick.” Jack retorted. Celeste shook her head.

“Oh come on, Jack. I bet someone in here is worthy of your attention. What kinda person are you into?”

“Wow now it’s getting boring, too.”

“Oh come on, Jack.” Celeste’s voice hardened a little bit. “If you don’t want to be here then go back to the ship, alright?”

“Fine.” Jack rolled her eyes before looking out onto the dance floor. Without warning, she slid out of the booth and onto the dance floor. Celeste sat still, blinking for a bit before laughing.

“I don’t know why I didn’t see that coming.”

“Whatever. Another round?” Lana grinned. “You should totally go up to the bar and get it. See if you can talk to your fan club over there.”

“You know what?” Celeste planted her hands on the table. “Fuck it, I will.”

Lana smiled and clapped her hands excitedly as Celeste slid off the bench. She smoothly walked up to the bar to stand next to the man who’d been ogling her. She didn’t initially look over at him, instead looking straight ahead and waiting for the bartender. When he came over to take her order, she felt the man next to her shift his weight and lean closer. She glanced over at him. “I’m sorry, can I help you?”

“I, uh…” He cleared his throat. “I do not have a line ready or anything, if that’s what you mean. I didn’t think you’d actually walk over.”

“Well, here I am. And I’m about to go back, but it was nice chatting.” She looked up as the bartender placed their drinks (and some shots) on the bar in front of her. She swore to herself under her breath when she realized she couldn’t carry everything back. She looked back up at him and flared her nostrils. “Alright, I’ll make you a deal. Help me carry these back to our table and… uh….keep my friend’s seat warm til she’s done dancing?”

“Alright, deal.” He let her pick up her drink- a martini- and the shots for the group. She watched him like a hawk as he pickedup his drink, Lana and Jack’s drinks and the bottle of champagne. They walked back to the table carefully and Celeste tried to ignore the absolute shit-eating grin on Lana’s face.

“Who’s your friend here, Ella?” She reached up to help spread out the drinks over the table as he handed them to her.

“I’m Aaron. Hi.” He smiled. Lana’s hand shot out for a handshake. He awkwardly reciprocated.

“Come on, sit with us!” Lana scooted over so Celeste could sit between her and Aaron. He enthusiastically slid in after Celeste.

“So, Ella, is it?” Aaron was clearly enthralled with her.

“That’s my nickname for her,” Lana intervened. “Her name as far as you’re concerned is Celeste.”

“That’s pretty,” he said. He paused, though, and Celeste realized it was highly likely he was putting a few things together. “Celeste… like… Celeste Shepard?”

Celeste lifted her drink to her lips and stared out onto the dancefloor. She took a long sip before daintily setting the glass back down on the table. “Yep. That’s me.”

“What’re you doing here? I thought you had a boyfriend- what’s…” He straightened. “Wait, I thought you died.”

“Yes… sort of… but not anymore.” Her hand darted out to grab one of the shots. Lana cackled as she did the same. “Alive and recently dumped dramatically. Yay.” 

“Come on, Aaron, do a shot with us to celebrate!” Lana pouted. “I can never get Ella to have fun.”

“Lana I literally go clubbing with you every chance I get.”

“Shhhhh just go with it. Aaron, what’s your story? Girlfriend, no girlfriend? Wife? Gay?”

“Lana, you can’t just…” Celeste put her face in her hands. “Jesus Christmas.” 

“Had a girlfriend but we broke up a couple of months ago.” He shifted his weight to lean closer to the women. “Wasn’t really mutual per se but it hadn’t worked in a while.”

“Nothing wrong with walking away from…” Lana’s eyes flew open as they darted over to Celeste. “Well, you know.”

Celeste inhaled slowly and looked at Aaron before forcing a smile. Next to her, Lana leaned to the side, seemingly looking into the dance floor. She pointed in the direction of Celeste, then to herself. She made an odd face before looking over at Celeste. “Kevin’s telling me to go over there. You kids going to be alright here?”

“Yeah I’m pretty sure we can handle it.” Celeste raised an eyebrow. As Lana slid out of the booth and walked away, she watched her. Something wasn’t right. Kevin was supposed to be helping Garrus. Why did they want Lana over there but not her? She’d ask Garrus later. In the meantime, she was actually enjoying the exchange with Aaron.

Meanwhile, Lana was equally concerned about being waved over to her brother and Garrus instead of Celeste. Neither of them looked particularly thrilled, especially Garrus. “What gives?”

“Look at the table in the back of the room, almost dead center. The one with two men at it.”

“What? Why is that…” She scanned the tables in the rear of the club until she found who they were talking about. “Are you fucking kidding me? I finally get her to come out for fun and KAIDAN FUCKING ALENKO is in the same club on the same night.”

Lana rubbed her temples. She watched him for a moment before turning her attention back to Kevin and Garrus. “The fuck are we gonna do? Has he seen you yet? Has he seen HER yet?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him watching you guys a few times.”

“Shit.” She shook her head. “Do I go tell her? We can’t hide this from her.”

“I….” Garrus looked over at Celeste. “No. Look at her. She’s smiling. Like really just smiling, not that fake one she always does to get us to shut up.”

“That is our new friend Aaron.” Lana grabbed Kevin’s drink and slammed half of it. “I can already tell she’s going to bang him. You’re welcome.”

The three of them were surprised when Jack walked off the dance floor and up to their table. She pointed in the general direction of Kaidan’s table. “So are we gonna tell Shepard or…?

“Garrus says no.” Lana shrugged. “I agree with him though that she seems happy. You know if we tell her, she’s going to either storm out and go to the ship or burn down this entire floor of the Wards.”


	19. Kaidan at the Dark Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other side of the Dark Star coin

Kaidan sighed to himself as he read the message on his omni tool. His buddy Toby had asked him to meet at Dark Star that night and he wasn’t completely sold on it, but he also hadn’t seen him in months. He reluctantly responded that he would before sighing again. Maybe Toby was right- he’d been in a foul mood since finding out that not only was Shepard alright but she was working for Cerberus and had managed to drag Garrus into it. He was almost 100% sure that Toby was doing this to try to set him up with someone. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, as he admittedly still had residual feelings for her. Maybe…

No. He couldn’t. He admired her for trying to protect the human colonies and that’s where it needed to stay. The Citadel was plenty big enough for the both of them, and he genuinely hoped for the best for her.

He unenthusiastically rummaged through his closet. His hand paused as he slid the hanger with his leather jacket to the side. Should he wear it? It made him think of her, of course. But it was his favorite jacket. And it wasn’t like he was going to run into her. He pulled the jacket out of his closet and set out to the nearest rapid transit stand. He punched in the request for the ride to Dark Star. He ducked into a nearby cab when the door slid open.

The ride was relatively short, and Toby was outside of the club waiting for him. He shot him a goofy grin. “I wasn't sure you’d show up! Don’t worry, you won’t regret it. I managed to land a table in the back so you can be grumpy away from the dance floor, okay? Come on.”

They headed into the club. The dance floor was packed, as were most of the tables. They skirted the edge of the dance floor and went up a few steps to get to the table Toby had referenced. Within only a minute or so, a waitress appeared seemingly out of nowhere. He wasn’t paying attention to what Toby asked him, just nodding at whatever he had asked him. He scanned the crowd. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, if anything. Everything seemed normal, until he saw a flash of familiar red hair. He groaned when he realized that it was Shepard’s friend Lana. Toby shot him a concerned glance.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s no big deal. Just spotted someone I know. She…” Kaidan shook his head. He absolutely didn’t feel like talking to him about anything Shepard related. He forced a grin. “She’s really a great person but holy shit she never shuts up. Talking to her, you wind up in a half hour conversation about socks or something.”

“Ahhh. Well, I think we’re far enough back that we shouldn’t have an issue. She probably won’t even see that you’re here.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

The waitress returned to the table with their drinks. Kaidan smiled a thank you at her and turned his attention back to Toby and whatever drink he had ordered for Kaidan. He almost choked when he tasted the same bourbon Shepard used to compare him to. He waved away Toby’s concern. “Wrong pipe. Geez I’m out of practice, aren’t I?”

“Definitely, dude.” Toby laughed. “I’m glad you made it out. I was half expecting some half-ass excuse why you couldn’t make it.”

“Fair. I almost did, to be fair.”

Toby threw his head back and laughed. “Of course. Now what is it going to take to get you to actually let loose and maybe even dance? Not to be callous but hasn’t Shepard been dead for... what the fuck?”

“Huh?” Kaidan followed his gaze and almost fell out of the booth when he saw a familiar rose tattoo bobbing on the other side of the dance floor. He was only a little surprised to see that she had added a rose to it. She had Garrus and the tattooed woman from Horizon with her. 

“Shepard’s alive?!” Toby’s jaw dropped. “You gotta go talk to her.”

“Oh we already have.”

“Were you gonna tell me?”

“Honestly no. It didn’t go well.”

“Oh.” Toby tapped his fingers on the table. “So you guys are doneskey?”

“What? Oh. I’m pretty sure she hates me now.”

“Just go talk to her.”

“Maybe later.” He forced a smile. “Drinks first.”

“That’s the spirit.” 

A moment later, Kaidan saw Garrus practically launch himself across the room. He followed the flurry of movement and almost banged his forehead on the table when he saw that he was headed to a table with a man who HAD to be related to Lana judging by the bright red hair. He had to admit, he was incredibly curious how this man fit into all of this. He turned his attention to the women at the table just as a waitress brought them a tray of drinks. He noticed Lana pointing at something or someone but couldn’t see or figure out what or who. A few moments later, the tattooed woman left the table and went out onto the dance floor. Seconds later, Shepard slid out of the booth and Kaidan realized she was in a dress he hadn’t seen before, that may actually be his new favorite. She walked up to the bar, out of his line of sight. Next to him, Toby snickered. “You sure you don’t want to go talk to her? At least make sure you’re not on shitty terms?”

“You know what? That’s fair.” Kaidan slammed the glass of bourbon and started to slide out of the booth when Toby’s hand shot out and grabbed his arm. Kaidan looked back at him, confused.

“Maybe not now.” Toby nodded in the direction of Lana’s table. Shepard had returned to it with a tall man with dark hair toting a bunch of drinks, and Lana clearly approved. Kaidan moved back to his seat. The women slid over so the man could join them. Kaidan ignored the growing jealousy. He’d brought this on himself.

Nothing new happened for a short while. Then, Kaidan noticed Lana communicating with someone across the room, and realized that she was communicating with none other than Garrus and the redheaded family member. He tore his eyes away and turned his attention to Toby, who was talking about his family back home. Kaidan was genuinely glad they were doing well, and Toby’s sister was even expecting her second kid. He was mid sentence when he started smacking Kaidan in the arm. He pointed to where Garrus had been with the redheaded man. Lana and the tattooed women had joined them, and when he made eye contact with them, both women smirked and flashed him both middle fingers. Toby snorted next to him. “Wow, you even pissed off the girl squad.”

“The one with the tattoos was with her and Garrus on Horizon. And the redhead is like her BFF from back in the day.” When he looked back at the table where Shepard had been, she and the man were gone.

His chance was over.


	20. Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liara tries to come through for her friends. Celeste has a mind of her own, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I *slightly* tweaked the wording of the email to fit what happened between Kaidan and Shepard in earlier chapters. I left as much of it the same as I could.
> 
> ***Song that inspired this was "Shape of You" by Ed Sheeran***

Kaidan stared at the box that had lived on his kitchen counter for two years. He’d never gotten rid of it. He wouldn’t even get rid of it now. Unless he found someone else, since that would be awkward as hell. He had no plans to anyway, so the ring would probably continue to take up space on the counter and in the back of his mind. 

He tossed his jacket through the door of his room. He rubbed his face with his hands as he walked back into the small living room. He looked around the room, trying to figure out how tired he was or if he could stay up long enough for a drink and a few episodes of his current favorite show. Just as he popped the cap off his beer, an unexpected ding sounded from his terminal. It was an alert from the Alliance, stating that Shepard and an unknown number of known Cerberus associates were headed to Ilium for an unspecified reason. Annoyed, he walked into the kitchen and dumped out his beer. He sent a quick message on his omni-tool to the pilot of the ship he’d been traveling on since the Normandy attack. He got an affirmative almost immediately- Bronson always was good about that sort of thing. Kaidan didn’t know how well he’d handle another Shepard run-in. Even worse, how she would handle it. As much as he cared for her, she definitely had a tendency to go scorched earth. Garrus wouldn’t be much better, and the tattooed woman might just tear him apart with no warning if she was a biotic. 

Of course she was exploring other options. He’d said goodbye and walked away, and saw the devastation in her body language, saw Garrus as usual step in. He wouldn’t be surprised if they wound up being closer than friends now that everything had blown up in Kaidan’s face. He replayed the rest of the night at the club in his head. The women had returned to Lana’s table and obviously roared with laughter as they high-fived before turning to directly stare at him with another round of middle fingers. Toby hadn’t been able to keep from snorting, commenting that Horizon must have gone worse than either of them had thought. 

He shook himself out of the ruminating thoughts and shuffled into his bedroom, flinging himself onto his bed and falling asleep practically the second his head hit the pillow.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste burst into a fit of giggles as Aaron regaled her with stories of childhood pranks he used to pull off with his sister. A surprising number of them involved paint or glitter... or both. His smile was addictive, much to her chagrin, and she was actually enjoying herself. She barely finished her third drink before she tapped out. She hated to admit it, but she was hoping that if she kept her shit somewhat together, their night wouldn’t end in the club. Piercing eyes made her wonder if people saw the same thing when they looked at hers. She caught herself leaning towards him a number of times, scolding herself each time. He was one of the more interesting people she had met since waking up- turns out he owned the company contracted to do a large chunk of the maintenance on the rapid transit cabs. She felt herself smiling more than she had in awhile, and when she genuinely accidentally bumped his leg with hers, she was only slightly mortified. Her eyes widened. “I swear that was an accident.”

Aaron looked at her with mock suspicion. “If I didn’t know better I would say you’re trying to flirt with me Ms. Shepard.”

“I mean at some point I definitely was. This part is awkward as hell.”

“It’s not really that bad. At least not compared to the fact that I’m about to ask if you wanna get out of here.”

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and Celeste could tell someone in the room was staring at her. A quick glance around didn’t show anyone who stood out so she shrugged it off. She found herself nodding almost as if it wasn’t her that was in control of her body. “You know what, sure. Live a little, right?”

“At the risk of this being unnecessarily awkward, I gotta ask if this is gonna fuck things up with your ex or whatever he is.”

“Nah that’s already dead. This gonna fuck up things with your ex?”

“Nope. She’s already engaged.”

“Well that settles that.” Celeste gave him a thumbs up. “Let’s go before I have to deal with Lana when she gets back.”

They quickly slid out of the booth. Celeste transferred some credits to Lana as they slipped out of the club and into the bustle of Zakera Ward. Aaron held out his arm for her to take, and she accepted. She glanced over at him curiously. “So this craziness doesn’t bother you? The whole being dead for two years, public relationship ending horribly, working for Cerberus?”

“I mean, it’s a lot but at least you’re not boring.” He grinned.

“I can definitely agree on that.” She smirked. “I don’t know that I’ve ever been boring.”

“Do you miss him?” She picked up on a slightly sad tone.

“Yes and no. Mostly yes. But he really did walk away and said goodbye, and I gotta respect that even if I don’t like it.” She frowned. “How about you?”

“Same, kinda. We tried to keep it on the quiet side but you know how people are.”

“Yeah, namely reporters.”

“Yes!” Aaron laughed. “I’ve seen how reporters like to try to spin you.”

“Being back is odd. I have to remind myself constantly that two years have passed. I’m grateful for the people who have stuck by me through all of this. Most of the original crew have something going on that they can’t be on the Normandy with me but are still on good terms. My buddy Garrus has been there since the start.”

“Garrus? Like Garrus Vakarian Garrus?”

“Yep. The one and only. Helped me take on Saren and the geth and is going after the Collectors with me.”

“Is he the turian who came in with you guys?”

“Yep.” She smiled as they approached a rapid transit hub. “Well, I guess this is my ride.”

“Do you have to go back to the ship yet?” Aaron sounded disappointed. 

“Uh... well, no.” She raised an eyebrow. “I mean if there’s somewhere else I can be....”

Aaron put a finger on her lips. “Listen, I’m not looking for a girlfriend or anything. But, if you let me know when you’re gonna be on the Citadel and the schedules line up, I definitely don’t want to never see you again.”

“Deal.” She smirked up at him. “My place or yours?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kaidan stared at the asari woman in front of him. Careena had just told him that his docking paperwork and fees had been covered by none other than Liara and he realized then that there was no way this wasn’t a setup somehow. He thanked her and sighed loudly before heading towards Liara’s office. He couldn’t wait for the scolding Liara was probably just waiting to unload on him. 

He received a number of curious glances, and he wondered if everyone on this fucking planet already knew who he was. At least no one stopped him. When he went up the stairs leading to the office, Nyxeris waved him in silently. Inside, Liara was at a window looking out on the hub-bub below. She turned and smiled at him as he entered. 

“Kaidan. So good to see you.”

“Same, Liara, though I have to ask if this was all set up by you.”

“Of course it was.” Her smile faltered. “Some of it was true- Shepard did come here with known Cerberus personnel. She was looking for info on two interesting people- an asari justicar named Samara, and a drell assassin.”

“An asari justicar and a drell assassin. What for?”

“To stop the Collectors, of course.” She shrugged. “That really is what she and her current team are working on.”

“What do you know about either of them?”

“Plenty.” Liara shook her head. “That’s not why I got you here.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No. We need to talk about Shepard.” She cleared her throat. “I need you to know that I am the reason she is with Cerberus. I found her body and signed her over when Cerberus was the only group who would do anything about her. She didn’t betray us, Kaidan. And you were the first of us she asked multiple people about. Anderson wouldn’t tell her anything, I had trouble finding info about you, and the Illusive Man dangled you being on Horizon in front of her like a toy in front of a child.”

“Wait so...”

“Cerberus is the only reason we have her back.”

“I’m guessing she told you about Horizon.”

“She did.”

“She hates me, doesn’t she?”

“She thinks that you hate her. She also had no idea we watched her die.”

“You know I had a ring picked out?”

Liara’s eyes widened. “What for…? Oh....”

“What?”

“I had no idea.” Liara frowned. “And Celeste was devastated after Horizon.”

“I just can’t have dealings with a Cerberus agent.”

“You need to decide if you want to be in her life or not. She is still 100% in love with you. She hates working for Cerberus. Every time she comes across information that could weaken Cerberus, she also sends it to the Alliance and to me. The Illusive Man leaked info on her to the Alliance so they would send you there and rip you two apart. Believe me. You walking away from her on Horizon crushed her like none of us have ever seen her.”

“This is... I was starting to get past her...”

“And that’s understandable. But you can’t have one foot in and one on the way out. Make a decision and stick to it. Are you in her life or not?”

“I... I have to think.”

“Fair enough. I’m only intervening once, though.”

“I’ll… I’ll message her.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste tapped her fingers on the rapid transit console impatiently. Incredibly relieved that the Sidonis thing was resolved, she headed directly to Aaron’s apartment. Kelly had said she’d gotten some messages on her terminal on the ship, but none were from Cerberus so she was taking the rest of the night to work out some frustration- Aaron’s message had expressed the same on his end. When a nearby cab opened, she practically dove into it. Despite how annoyed Garrus was with Sidonis still being alive, he’d sent her off with a smile and a wink. 

When she pulled the cab into the hub near his place, she was glad she’d changed into casual clothing. Her favorite reporter was uncomfortably close. She shielded her face from view as she scurried over to what had quickly become her ACTUAL favorite place on the Citadel. Within seconds of knocking, Aaron flung the door open, grinning broadly. Giggling, she pushed him back, slamming the door behind her. “Before that bitch sees me.”

“She’s been out there for almost two hours.” He shook his head. “I thought for sure she was going to catch you.”

“Yeah that’s what either of us needs.” She walked past him into his kitchen, and he followed her. “Other than that, how’s the last week treated you?”

“Pretty well. Most of the residual damage from the geth attack has been taken care of finally. I still have a few cabs that are wonky but overall everything’s great.” He wrapped his arms around her. “How’s your super secret Collector business going?”

“Oh it’s the same shitshow it’s been but at least the team’s expanded. I’m sure Jack is glad that we have another biotic to take some of the load off of her. I did promise her that we’d go blow up the facility where she was tortured, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“So how long do I get you this time?” He kissed her forehead gently.

“We’re waiting for a part that’s hard to find so at least a day?” 

“A whole day?” He grinned. 

“Yeah we’re lucky. I don’t think this is going to happen too many more times, at least not for a while.”

“That sucks. But I’m sure you and the squad will destroy the Collectors in no time.”

“I hope so.”

“What are your plans afterwards?”

“I honestly haven’t gotten that far.” She frowned. “I don’t know that normal is a possibility after all this but I’d like to think so.”

“I really do hope you get that.” Aaron grinned. “Though I’m not sure you personally could ever be ‘normal.’”

Celeste grinned back as she unzipped her boots, tossing them aside and walking out to his balcony patio. She leaned against the low wall. She loved the view from it and made a point to check it out at least once a visit. She didn’t look up as he walked out behind her. “I love this view, you know.”

“Mine’s better.” He grinned when she looked back to roll her eyes at him. 

“That might be your cheesiest line yet.”

“That was the goal.” She turned back towards the view as he walked up next to her. “Though it is true.”

“If you say so.” She smiled as she shook her head. He grabbed her by the hips and turned her to face him. She opened her mouth to say something, instead yelping as Aaron pulled off her tank top and tossed it aside in one fluid motion. “Really? Out here?”

“Yes.” He pulled her up against him. 

“And you don’t care if.....” He cut her off by kissing her roughly, his hands slipping down to the waist of her leggings and tugging on them slightly. She rolled her hips against him, smiling into the kiss. She reluctantly broke off the kiss, leaning back against the wall of the balcony. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“Fuck it, I don’t care who sees if you don’t.” He knelt down, yanking the leggings down and letting her lean on him as she stepped out of them.

“I mean I don’t think anyone can see anyway but I don’t give a shit either.” She let out a quiet gasp as her underwear quickly followed her leggings and Aaron practically tore off his shirt, flinging it backwards. He stood back up and stood between her legs. Her hands flew down to his pants, unbuckling his belt and unzipping them before wrapping her legs around him. He snaked an arm around her, pulling her close to him and simultaneously thrusting into her. “Aaron!”

She wrapped an arm around him, meeting each thrust with a roll of her hips. Aaron slid his free hand behind her, easily unhooking her bra and tossing it aside. She pulled herself up to kiss him roughly, then let her head fall back as her breathing grew ragged. He brushed his lips along the side of her neck, scraping his teeth across flesh and growling at the whimper it triggered. She arched her back, dragging her fingernails down his back. He hissed in return and began thrusting harder and faster. Celeste cried out, completely unconcerned about whether anyone could see or hear them. Aaron moved his hands to her hips and pulled her against him roughly as she writhed beneath him. He’d prided himself on how she reacted to him since their first encounter, always watching her as she came undone, shouting his name and clinging to him as if her life depended on it. He felt the familiar clench of her hand and the scrape of her fingernails just before her eyes widened, locking onto his. His fingers dug into her hips as she cried out, tightening around him as she climaxed and brought him crashing down right after. Light-headed, he propped himself up against the wall on either side of her for a moment before wrapping one arm around her and hooking an arm under her legs. He carried her gently through the sliding glass door leading to his bedroom and they both collapsed on his bed. “I will never get tired of that.”

“You better not.” She grinned, still panting. He rolled onto his back so she could climb onto his chest. They lay there for a while in silence, Celeste running her fingernails up and down his chest until they both drifted off to sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Kaidan re-read the message for the eighth time, nervous as hell to send it.

“Shepard,

I’m sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after watching you go down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I’d finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?

Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I don’t really know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything… maybe it meant as much as you said it did… But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can’t just put that aside.

But please be careful. I’ve watched too many people close to me die-- on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on the Normandy. I couldn’t bear it if I lost you again. If you’re still the woman I remember I know you’ll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.

When things settle down a little… maybe… I don’t know. Just take care.

\--Kaidan”

Anxiety washed over him as he read over every word of it. He knew it would have one of two reactions from her- she’d either soften up at the reminder of what they’d had before, or she would go scorched earth. Either way, he’d have his answer. To be honest, he wanted her back. He couldn’t believe he’d been so cold to her on Horizon, even if he had been shocked. It was up to her now. He took a deep breath and clicked the ‘send’ button.

And then he waited.


	21. Precious Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are changing for Celeste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for how this chapter was going to go down came from the Tori Amos song of the same name (I don't claim to have the rights to it)
> 
> "So I ran faster  
> But it caught me here  
> Yes my loyalties turned  
> Like my ankle  
> In the seventh grade  
> Running after Billy  
> Running after the rain
> 
> These precious things  
> Let them bleed  
> Let them wash away  
> These precious things  
> Let them break  
> Their hold on me
> 
> He said "you're really an ugly girl  
> But I like the way you play"  
> And I died, but I thanked him  
> Can you believe that?  
> Sick, sick, holding on to his picture  
> Dressing up every day  
> I wanna smash the faces  
> Of those beautiful boys  
> Those Christian boys  
> So, you can make me cum  
> That doesn't make you Jesus
> 
> These precious things  
> Let them bleed  
> Let them wash away  
> These precious things  
> Let them break  
> Their hold on me
> 
> I remember, yes  
> In my peach party dress  
> No one dared  
> No one cared to tell me  
> Where the pretty girls are  
> Those demigods  
> With their nine-inch nails  
> And little fascist panties  
> Tucked inside the heart  
> Of every nice girl
> 
> These precious things  
> Let them bleed  
> Let them wash away  
> These precious things  
> Let them break  
> Let them wash away  
> These, these precious things  
> Let them bleed, now  
> Let them wash away  
> These, these precious things  
> Let them break  
> Their hold on me
> 
> Precious, precious"

Celeste grinned as the airlock cycled. She and Aaron had indeed spent the better part of the day more or less horizontal in various places in his apartment. She walked out into the CIC, still smiling. She walked right past Kelly as the yeoman tried to get her attention, getting into the elevator and punching the button to go up to her quarters. 

“Shepard, you have a new message…” Celeste waved as the door closed behind her. She caught herself picking at her fingernails. Scowling, she ducked out of the elevator when she got up to her quarters. The light on her terminal was flashing. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of the photo of Kaidan, still in the far corner of her room. She swallowed down her anger and instead turned her attention to the cage next to her desk, the home of the new hamster she’d impulsively bought on the Citadel. He looked up at her and let out a squeak.

“You are so cute! What am I going to name you?” She dug out a scoop of food and dumped it into the little critter’s food bowl. “I can’t just call you ‘space hamster’ for the rest of your life.”

Rolling her eyes, she sat down in front of her terminal and opened her messages. “Really? Fifteen?”

A quick scan of the message subjects eliminated most of the messages as garbage or scams. One was from Jacob asking to speak to her about a personal matter when she got the chance, one was a similar message from Miranda, and one was Anderson requesting some secret meeting involving batarians. When her eyes fell on the subject of one of them, she flashed with rage. 

“About Horizon.”

“Motherfucker,” she said under her breath. She had less than no interest in reading whatever bullshit Kaidan felt the need to scold her with. Taking cheap shots at her on Horizon instead of listening to any explanation she may have said more about him than it did about her and she wasn’t about to let him try to make her look like the inhuman villain in some sort of pathetic attempt to have the last word. She snarled and pushed herself back from her desk. She rolled over to the small fridge behind her. ‘Fuck it’, she thought. They still had a few hours before leaving the Citadel, and it would be hours before returning to Ilium to retrieve the drell assassin that had been added with the second round of dossiers. Samara said she hadn’t run into anyone fitting the description but that she had overheard a number of people talking about rumors of whoever it was. Celeste pulled out a bottle of wine she’d picked up at the same time as Chakwas’s brandy. She wrenched out the cork and took a long swig directly from the bottle. Maybe if she drank the whole thing she could actually sleep without reliving Virmire, the attack on the first Normandy…. Or the cold look in Kaidan’s eyes when he realized she was “with” Cerberus.

She perused the rest of her messages between swigs from the wine bottle. Nothing too serious, a thank-you here, a request there. She desperately tried to ignore Kaidan’s message, even hovering over it debating whether she should just delete it and save herself the trouble. She was, unfortunately, too curious for her own good to actually go through with it. Scowling again, she got up from her desk and walked around to her bed. She was surrounded by people she couldn’t actually trust that she knew would double-cross her in a heartbeat if it was her or Cerberus. Thank god for Garrus, though she was pretty sure he wasn’t happy with how she’d resolved the Sidonis thing. He never went quite as scorched earth as she did, but he was definitely not opposed to it as an approach to a major issue. Maybe she could bounce this whole situation off him. 

“Hey, EDI?” She winced as the AI lit up the console on her wall.

“Yes, Shepard?”

“Can you tell Vakarian to come up here?”

“Of course, Shepard.” The console went dark and flopped down on her bed. By the time Garrus walked in, she’d hit the halfway mark on the bottle of wine.

“Oh, Shepard. What happened?”

“That motherfucker had the nerve to message me ‘about Horizon’,” she grumbled with her air quotes. “What more is there to say? He let me know what he thinks of me now. I’m not going to let him berate me some more.”

“Shepard, I…. we…” He frowned. “When we were all at Dark Star together, Kaidan was there. He was watching you with Lana and Jack, and then with Aaron.”

“Excuse me but when exactly when the fuck were you going to tell me?”

“Well, you have a tendency to go from 0 to 60 in the blink of an eye so…. I mean, never. We absolutely were not going to tell you.” He shrugged. “It didn’t seem important. What would you have done differently? You got to have a little fun and you and Aaron are good together.”

“Ugh. Did he at least stare at us jealously?”

“Oh yes. I think he was actually about to go over to talk to you until you brought Aaron back to the table. And Lana and Jack both, uh… I guess it’s a human thing with the fingers?”

“Like this?” She put up both middle fingers.

“Yes.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of a ‘fuck you’ thing humans do.” She grinned. “Good on Lana and Jack.”

“Are you gonna leave the picture in the corner?” He pointed to where Kaidan’s photo had landed the previous week. She snorted. 

“If I didn’t like the frame so much, I’d have trashed it already.”

“No you wouldn’t have.”

“Yes I would!” She frowned. “I mean, probably. It’s a nice frame, okay?”

“Yeah, it is nice.” Garrus rolled his eyes. “So what are we doing here with the wine?”

“I’m drinking it and hoping I get some sleep.”

“You’re going to wind up with a hangover.”

“I’m still not reading that fucking message.”

“Is that what this is really about?”

“Goddammit, Vakarian.” She glared at him.

“Are you just trying to get my permission not to read a message written for you and you alone?” He tilted his head. He smelled something familiar…

Her eyes brimmed with tears. “Do I have to read it?”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to outside of going after the Collectors.”

“We’re heading for Ilium in a few hours, by the way.” She took a particularly long swig out of the wine. “So I have plenty of time to be a crotchety shit in here by myself.”

“Who are we going after this time?”

“Some drell assassin.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“If you’re here to kill me, Shepard, then just do it.” Nassana sneered.

“I’m actually not here to kill you. Really.” Celeste smirked. “I mean, someone is definitely here to kill you. I’m just along for the ride.”

“Fuck you, Shepard.” Nassana snarled. A noise above their heads caught Celeste’s attention.

“Tick tock, bitch.” Celeste managed to not flinch as a dark figure dropped from the ceiling and took out the two guards standing behind Nassana, who whirled around to face her attacker just to take a shot point-blank in the stomach. The assassin laid her gently back against the console behind her and crossed her arms, then started… praying? Celeste glanced questioningly over at Garrus and Kasumi, both of whom shrugged and shook their heads. She turned her attention back in the direction of the assassin, who was currently studying the trio with large black eyes. “Uh… Thane Krios? I’m Commander Shepard.”

“Yes.” The black eyes blinked, curious. “To both of those things.”

“I’m… we’re.. Going after the Collectors. Human colonies are disappearing and we’ve traced it to them. I’m building a team. You come highly recommended.”

“Interesting.” Thane shifted his weight to stand straighter. 

“We may not survive this, I have to warn you.”

“I didn’t expect to survive this-” he gestured to Nassana and the guards. “Interesting that I did, and get approached with this. I’ll do it.”

“Just like that?”

“I’m… I’m sick.” Another couple of blinks. “Kepral’s Syndrome.”

“We have…” Celeste cleared her throat. “Dr Chakwas can look into it if you like..”

“It’s not like… I”m dying. Perhaps though, this is a chance to atone.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kaidan checked his terminal for the umpteenth time that day. The message he’d sent to Shepard was still showing as unread. He scowled to himself. It was stupid of him to think she’d even read it, much less respond or even care. He glanced over at the box on the counter. He’d picked it up the day before, unsure of what he would even do with it, much less if he could get rid of it. Having it around was such a complex force of emotions.

He wished he could take it all back. Not just Horizon. All of it. He never should have even gotten involved with her, or none of this bullshit would have happened. Who was he kidding, though? Shepard was such a powerful force that just attracted people and attention to her even when she didn’t want to. He wanted nothing more than to run to the dock where he knew the Normandy would be for another few hours or so, sneak on board and find Shepard, pin her against a wall, and try to take it all back until she didn’t hate him anymore. He’d invoked the night before Ilos without thinking about the fact that she had been the one who put herself out there first, not him. He wondered what had gone through her mind as her suit leaked after the attack on the Normandy- was she even awake? Was she scared? Did she die slowly and painfully or did she pass out and basically go to sleep? And what happened when she woke up wherever they had woken her up? Why hadn’t he thought about any of this before he ran his mouth at her on Horizon after she saved him?

He sighed. Now she was all he could think about, and he had plenty of his own problems. He really did wish that they could be going after the Collectors together. He was worried for her in the hands of the Illusive Man, who’d already shown once he couldn’t be trusted and would definitely do so again, without a doubt. Shepard wasn’t the type to need saving, though, and he needed to remember that. 

The ring would stay where it was for now.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Celeste smiled when she read the message from Aaron. She’d broken the news to him earlier that the mission against the Collectors would most likely be a one-way trip, and he was incredibly supportive (per usual). He let her know that their arrangement would be available for as long as she was interested, and that he would like an update when it was time for her to go. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that her mind had been wandering the last couple of days- it was nothing, really, she was pretty sure, but the last few nights she’d seen the same thing before she fell asleep- dark pools of deep sparkling green that appeared black if you didn’t look carefully. It was absurd, but there was something incredibly calming about him, especially considering he was a fucking assassin. She could talk to him for hours about anything- she managed to figure out that he had been married and that she had died sadly, possibly connected to his work. She loved asking about Kahje. It sounded like such a beautiful place with so much ocean (alright, maybe too much ocean). She asked about the different deities he prayed to, flowers, architecture, anything and everything she could think of. Thane answered all of her questions, amused at the intense curiosity that she couldn’t hide from showing on her face. She was conflicted about being around whenever he had an eidetic flashback- she felt as though she was witnessing something she wasn’t allowed to. He didn’t seem to mind, oddly, but she never pressed him for any information he didn’t offer her. In fact, it almost seemed that having someone who could and would listen to just about anything he said was a refreshing change. 

She returned her attention back to her terminal and the unread message taunting her. She took a deep breath before opening it. 

“Shepard,  
I’m sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after watching you go down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on. I’d finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?  
Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I don’t really know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything… maybe it meant as much as you said it did… But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can’t just put that aside.  
But please be careful. I’ve watched too many people close to me die-- on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on the Normandy. I couldn’t bear it if I lost you again. If you’re still the woman I remember I know you’ll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself.  
When things settle down a little… maybe… I don’t know. Just take care.  
\--Kaidan”

“FUCK.” She balled up her fists and covered her eyes with them. Her gut reaction was to immediately write him back and tell him everything was okay- but it wasn’t. She would always love him. Nothing could change that. But everything else was different. She stood and crossed the room to where his picture still was. She reluctantly bent to pick it up, pausing for a moment before grasping the frame tightly. She walked it back to her desk, putting it down next to her framed medal. She started to walk away towards her door to go talk to Thane. She stopped after a few steps, then walked back to the photo, turning it face down.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kaidan nearly jumped at the soft ding of his terminal. He rushed across his living room to check it- it was just Anderson checking up about something. Out of curiosity, he checked the message he had sent Shepard.

It had been read.


	22. Gasoline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack needs some closure and Celeste is there to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for this chapter came from Halsey's song with the same name long before most of the other chapters so far- I just didn't know when to write it. (I do not own the rights to the song.)
> 
> Are you insane like me, been in pain like me?  
> Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?  
> Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?  
> Would you use your water bill to try to stain like me?  
> Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me?  
> Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?  
> Do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me  
> Saying that you just shouldn't waste your pretty face like me
> 
> And all the people say  
> You can't wake up, this is not a dream  
> You're part of of a machine, you are not a human being  
> With your face all made up, living on a screen  
> Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline
> 
> Oh, woah, whoa  
> I think there's a flaw in my code  
> Oh, woah, woah  
> These voices won't leave me alone  
> Well, my heart is gold and my hands are cold
> 
> Are you deranged like me, are you strange like me?  
> Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?  
> Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?  
> Point your fingers 'cause you never take the blame like me
> 
> And all the people say  
> You can't wake up, this is not a dream  
> You're part of a machine, you are not a human being  
> With your face all made up, living on a screen  
> Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline
> 
> Oh, woah, woah,  
> I think there's a flaw in my code  
> Oh, woah, woah  
> These voices won't leave me alone  
> Well, my heart is col and my hands are cold

Celeste looked out the window of the shuttle and was surprised to see just how much the vegetation really had grown up and was strangling the building. She glanced at Jack sitting across from her, obvious disdain all over her face. Underneath it, though, Celeste could see just a sliver of a scared kid trying to be brave. She suddenly randomly found herself wondering about Jack’s parents. Were they even in the picture? Celeste wasn’t so different from Jack and she could barely even remember hers. Next to her, she felt Thane shift slightly as he peered out of the shuttle window down at the overgrown facility. He refrained from saying anything but definitely disapproved. He surely could pick up on the women’s combined anxiety- he was always perceptive like that. Jack picked at her nails nervously, looking between the two of them and trying to gauge their emotions. Celeste nodded at her, then went back to looking out of the shuttle window. Every time Jack or Celeste killed someone, their odds of survival went up. She had a feeling that at the end of this mission their odds would both be MUCH higher.

The shuttle carefully set down on the landing pad on top of one of the few buildings that could be seen through the vegetation. Celeste and Thane sprung out the second the door opened. She turned to say something to Jack and was startled to see that she was still in the shuttle, hesitant. She scowled when she noticed Celeste watching her. She stepped out of the shuttle and pushed past them. Celeste briefly glanced over at Thane before turning and following Jack down the stairs and in through the doors to the facility. 

The building was in an intense state of disrepair. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting inside, maybe a continuing project or at least some scientists. Instead, the rain was practically pouring in through the cracks in the wall and ceiling. How much of this was neglect and how much was damage caused by Jack breaking out? Probably a little of each column. The plants were also finding their way in through the cracks. Celeste scoffed at the flowers that were blooming in the cells as they walked by. The cells were tiny, mostly only with beds and anchors on the ground that were clearly there for handcuffs or other chains. Bile rose in her throat and she felt Thane seething next to her.

“They kept CHILDREN in these?” He spat. “Disgusting. They deserved whatever you did to them, Jack.”

“Of course they fucking did.” They walked by an area that had some small barriers. Horrified, Celeste realized that this was some sort of arena. 

“Did they make you FIGHT each other?!”

“Yeah. They drugged me. Shocked me if I hesitated. I still get a warm feeling when I fight sometimes.”

“That’s abhorrent.” Thane’s voice dripped so heavily with disgust that Celeste couldn’t help but do a double-take. Jack either didn’t notice or didn’t care. She pointed to a dead varren as they passed it.

“This place is supposed to be empty. Who the fuck killed that Varren? It’s a fresh kill,” Jack said.

“Hrm. EDI did say that there were heat signatures everywhere but here. Whoever killed that varren must be the one who’s somehow blocking any signals.” Celeste frowned. “Joke’s on them, they’re not counting on you being here, Jack.”

“I’ll plant the bomb on their corpse.” She rolled her eyes. “Idiots.”

“Big fucking bomb.” Celeste grinned at her. Jack’s eyes glinted for a brief moment before she turned and pushed through the next doors. The trio walked into the large central room and were surprised to find not one person but a whole squad of Blood Pack mercs. Celeste furrowed her brow. “Um… who are you and why are you here?”

The krogan clearly in charge got on his comm. “Yeah, the intruders are here, Aresh. What do you want us to do, kill them? Because we’re going to need to talk credits since the salvage here is basically squat.”

“Not a good idea, buddy.” Celeste drew her pistol. “How ‘bout you and your friends here cut your losses and move on?”

“Not a chance.” The mercs opened fire on them. They scrambled to get behind cover. Jack let loose a shockwave that sent multiple vorcha flying. Celeste cackled as she threw a warp at one of the krogan stupid enough to get out of cover.

The vorcha were easily taken out, but the three krogan proved to be a challenge. Fortunately for them, Thane was as good with his sniper rifle as he was with words and it only took three shots to put the band leader down. Between Celeste and Jack, the other two were put down almost as quickly. Celeste glanced over at Thane and grinned to herself. Next to her, Jack rolled her eyes again. “Oh don’t tell me you have googly eyes for Thane. Really?”

“We can talk about this later,” Celeste said. “We still have to find who these meat shields were working for.”

“Yeah.” Jack’s voice cracked slightly. She gestured to the door on the opposite side of the room. “Only room left is my cell. Whoever this Aresh is, he’s dead. And where I’m planting that bomb.”

Celeste nodded and walked through the door into a short hallway. Jack slowed behind her. She looked back at Jack and smiled gently. Thane walked into the cell, doing a quick sweep of the room to check for traps or enemies. Celeste saw him tilt his head in the direction of the bed in the far corner and she charged into the room. “We know you’re in here. Your mercs are dead so you might as well come out and face us.”

A sigh sounded from next to the bed, and a thin man stood up and looked between the three of them nervously. His eyes widened when they fell on Jack. She sneered in return. “Who the fuck are you?”

“My name is Aresh. This is my home.” He looked back at Celeste.

“No, this is a testing facility where terrible experiments were performed on children.” Thane glowered.

“It is both.” Aresh turned his attention back to Jack. “I know who you are, Jack. Subject zero. The reason we were brought here.”

“Bullshit.” Jack shook her head.

“They did things to us so that they knew what wouldn’t work on you. We were going to rebel against them when they moved us. They were going to put us down, but then you got out. I got knocked out during the fighting and when I woke up, the scientists, the kids… they were all dead, and you were gone. I’m going to reopen it, restart the program.”

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Celeste asked. “They TORTURED you.”

“It couldn’t have been for nothing. There had to be a reason and I have to find it.”

“I should paint these walls with your blood, fuckface.” Jack threw Aresh across the room and drew her pistol. She aimed it square at his head, finger hovering over the trigger.”

“Jack, come on. He’s here for the same reason you are. Closure. You know he’ll never be able to get this off the ground no matter how hard he tries. He needs to let go and move on. You need to move on. Killing him isn’t going to help.”

“Whatever. He’s irrelevant.” Jack waved Aresh away. “Leave. Before you get blown sky high with this place.”

“...Yeah, okay.” Aresh stumbled slightly as he stood and ran out of the room. Jack looked around at the remnants of her childhood. “Can… can I have a minute?”

“Take all the time you need, Jack. You did the right thing.”

“Maybe.” She walked over to a desk in the corner. “You know this table was the best friend I ever had? I wrote here. I cried here. It was the last thing I looked at before I broke out of here. I was pathetic.”

“You were a pissed off, scared kid. Not pathetic.”

“Whatever.” She looked over at her bed and pointed to it. “They tortured me there. I used to tie the sheets around my wrists and try to rip them off. I wanna stop coming back here.”

Thane shook his head and walked out of the room. Celeste walked over to the two-way mirror. She looked back at Jack. “How long would you stand here, shouting at anyone who would listen?”

“I don’t even know. When you’re a scared kid, time doesn’t make any sense, isn’t important. I screamed at them, and they didn’t hear me. I hated them all.”

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” Celeste jerked her head in the direction of the door. Jack followed her, stopping to run her fingertips through a dark red smear on the wall. Celeste grimaced. “Is that what I think it is?”

“It’s what’s left of the first man I killed. Pulverized him with my biotics so hard that all that’s left of him is this blood splatter.” Jack shook her head. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Celeste and Thane let Jack lead them back through the facility. She didn’t give any of it a second glance, and they stayed quiet behind her. When they walked out into the rain, Jack paused, tilting her head back and closing her eyes as the rain poured down over them. She shook her head and took the steps two at a time as they headed back up to the landing platform. She hopped up into the shuttle and sank onto the seat. Thane stepped up after, helping Celeste up behind him. They stayed quiet, watching Jack’s face as she fidgeted with the detonator. When she started flicking it open and closed repeatedly, Celeste pounded on the door to pick up the pace. As the bomb went off behind them, she looked away, wincing at the memory of Virmire. The silence continued until they were picked up by the Normandy. Celeste tore off her armor, dropping it in the airlock and heading straight for the elevator. Jack and Thane exchanged glances. Thane smiled sadly. “It’s difficult to get caught up in a memory that so greatly changes a life.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * 

“I swear to god if I actually convince her to go out and that motherfucker’s there, I’m causing a scene. I know the owner, it’s fine.” Lana grumbled. “All I want is those two to get to let loose without having to run behind them and keep them from seeing someone.”

Garrus nodded. “Celeste has been really withdrawn since Pragia. I think it reminded her of Virmire, and Virmire makes her think of… well, that was a difficult decision.”

“Alright, well I’ll get it set up for tonight. It’ll be fun.” Lana frowned up at Garrus on the screen in front of her. “Do you think I should contact Aaron?”

“I don’t know. We now know for sure that we have to go through the Omega-4 relay which is basically a death trap. I’m sure she wants to see him one last time before then, though I’m not sure where her head is.” Garrus shrugged

“What do you mean? She and Aaron are great together.”

“Yes, but I think…. Well. I think she’s got her eye on someone specific again.”

“WHAT? Who? Is he cute?”

“I don’t really know how to answer any of that.”

“You suck, Vakarian.” Lana rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I’ll message Aaron and we’ll have a fun night to celebrate Jack. Do whatever you have to to get them to my place and we’ll head over to Dark Star.”

His screen cut off as Lana hung up the vid call. He sighed loudly. He was pretty sure that Celeste would not be happy about this. He dug what had become his clubwear out of the locker and reluctantly headed towards to the elevator. He paused slightly before pushing the button. Shaking his head, he smashed the button and faced the elevator door.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Lana threw her head back and laughed. Celeste snickered, and Aaron nearly spit out his drink. A decent-looking fellow had approached Jack on the dance floor and was clearly trying to be some sort of smooth talker. It was most definitely no working, judging by the unamused look on Jack’s face. Aaron glanced over at Celeste and let his gaze wander over her- she’d worn a sort of leather bustier and her trusty leather pants with knee-high heeled boots he hadn’t seen before. She smirked when she noticed. “I shouldn’t laugh- I was definitely not smooth when we met.”

“It’s a good thing I needed help carrying drinks. This guy’s got no way in with Jack. Hell, she might even kill him.” Celeste snorted. Suddenly, Jack glowed bright biotic blue. “Uh-oh.”

“Shit.” Lana jumped to her feet and made a beeline for the dance floor. Celeste looked over at Aaron. He smiled sadly.

“I already know what you’re going to say. Lana told me you’re going through the Omega-4 relay. I know as well as you do that that’s a one-way trip.”

“It is.” She frowned. “We’re probably all not surviving this.”

“I feel selfish saying this, but I’m glad I get one more night with you before it happens.”

“It’s not selfish. That’s a lot for any of us to deal with.”

“Are…” He flushed red. “Are you interested in spending the night with me? Be honest, you can say ‘no’ if you don’t want to…”

“Of course.” She smiled. “I’d enjoy that.”

They looked up as Lana and Jack came back to the table, sans the awkward man. Lana was giggling and Jack was even smiling. She looked Celeste square in the eye. “So Lana comes up and starts talking to me and Captain Doofus over there tries to cut her off and hit on me, so Lana asked him if he practices his shitty routines on sex dolls before hitting the clubs and I swear I could see steam coming out of his ears.”

Celeste cackled. “Damn, that’s a good one. I’m stealing that.”

Her smile faltered, and Lana knew her well enough to know what had just crossed her mind- they were on a suicide mission. There was no need to worry about being hit on in the future. She wouldn’t need a witty line. Garrus, of course, Knew what to say as always. “I don’t know, I liked the part where she started glowing blue and we ALL knew what was about to happen.”

“Yeah that was pretty great.” Lana nodded. “Reminds me of our old days on Earth.”

“Oh god do you remember those twins that decided they were each going to try to compete for my attention or whatever?”

“Were those the ones whose heads you clunked together when you lifted them with your biotics then threw out the second floor window?”

“Yes!” Celeste started laughing. “They’re lucky I didn’t set them on fire, too, thought they didn’t need to know I was bluffing about it.”

“You never cease to surprise me, Shepard.” Garrus shook his head but it was obvious he was amused.

“I had a really short fuse when I was younger.”

“What? You still do, Ella!”

“Not set people on fire and throw them out…. Oh. Yeah maybe I still do. Listen, he was a merc working for Nassana, he doesn’t get to not get thrown out the window after they mowed down those workers.”

“I used to joke with Ella that she ran on gasoline like cars did a hundred years or so ago and crossing her would start a fire.”

“Great, Lana, now they think I’m an asshole.”

“Oh we already do,” Jack said. “But you’re pretty alright. And I can’t say I don’t do the same things. Listen, thanks for Pragia. I owe you one.”


	23. One More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After blowing the Teltin facility sky high, the gang gathers to celebrate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a playlist that I listen to when I write and as I add songs to it, sometimes the new songs give me ideas. This chapter was inspired by Eagle Eye Cherry's "Save Tonight."
> 
> I also really want my favorite biotic to be a little happy

The group’s celebration went all night, with no sign of Kaidan much to Garrus and Lana’s relief. Lana and Celeste did indeed know the owner of Dark Star, so their antics were actually appreciated as patrons at neighboring tables were practically tripping over each other to buy them drinks and get their attention. Garrus got a fair amount of attention once people realized he wasn’t attached to any of his friends, which just made the women laugh more. Plenty of women also approached Aaron, with a few suggesting threesomes when he brushed them off as him being with Celeste. Celeste, of course, thought this was terribly funny and even flirted back with one of them, and tried to send another one to Jack, who immediately rebuffed her.

About four drinks in, Lana and Celeste both wound up dancing on the bar. After a couple of songs, Celeste waved at Jack to join them. She shook her head, laughing, but Celeste wasn’t about to give up so easily. She kept trying after every song until finally, Jack shrugged and let Celeste help her onto the bar. The crowd that had gathered around them cheered, and the scramble to buy them drinks renewed. Fortunately, Lana also knew the bartender, who knew that “light ice” really meant to make it without alcohol so they wouldn’t get completely hammered. Celeste was honestly having a great time until a familiar haptic on her omni-tool buzzed. She briefly glanced down and saw that she’d gotten a message from Anderson asking her to come meet with him when she had a chance. Her gut told her that this was about Kaidan, so she shrugged it off and went back to dancing. 

It was nearly 3 a.m. before Celeste started tapping on her omni-tool to tell the women that she was wrapping up soon. Both of them nodded, and they got down after a few songs so that the bartender could start cleaning before the shift change. Jack was actually genuinely smiling for...probably the first time in her adult life. Aaron had one of THOSE looks on his face like he was ready to devour Celeste, and Lana oddly had a bit of a twinkle in her eye. “Come on, let’s get back to my place!”

Celeste nodded. She glanced over at Aaron, who also nodded and winked at her. Lana grimaced. She rolled her eyes. “You two can have the guest room on the opposite end of the place. If I hear you, I’m kicking you out.”

“You know, the easy solution to that would be to bring back someone yourself so you don’t hear us.” Aaron raised an eyebrow. “Not like there aren’t plenty of people here to choose from.”

“Maybe. You remember the door code, Ella?”

“Yeah we’ll be fine.”

“Go on ahead and I’ll scavenge the drek here.” Lana winked. “The pool just got cleaned so I don’t wanna see any you-know-what in it. I have a couple of suits you can borrow in the outside cabinet.”

“Ooh that sounds fun!” Celeste tugged on Aaron’s arm. “You want us to pick up anything on the way? Booze, mixers?”

“I should be pretty well stocked at the condo? If not, lemme know and I’ll see what I can get here.”

Aaron held out his arm for Celeste and she gladly took it. They slipped out of the club and into the bustle of the Zakera Ward. Even at the odd hour, there was plenty of traffic. They headed for the nearest transit hub. As usual, Celeste went straight for the nearest red one. He chuckled. “Why do you always go for the red ones?”

“Because they never have pink. Red is the closest color.” She stuck out her tongue. “Plus it’s flashy, and kinda reminds me of my time on Earth.”

“How long has it been since you were there? On Earth, I mean.”

“Like at all or for a significant amount of time?”

“At all.” He climbed into the cab, holding out his hand to help her get in.”

“I stopped by right before we started going after the geth. So, what, like two years ago? But before that was when I was 17, before I joined the Alliance.”

Aaron put the cab in gear and they headed towards Lana’s apartment. Celeste looked out the window over the sprawling buildings in the Zakera Ward. He glanced over at her a few times. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Just thinking about the first time I saw the Citadel. It was on the first Normandy, of course. Crowded into the cockpit with Joker, and…. Well. The others.” The memory of watching the nuke on Virmire detonate hit and she tried to fight the tears that welled up in her eyes. Aaron noticed and quickly changed the subject. 

“You know what the first thing I did on the Citadel was?’

“Zakera Cafe’s noodles?” She grinned.

“Wait, how did you know?”

“It wasn’t the first thing I did but it was one of the first. We would get the whole crew there and just spend the afternoon there. Their spicy noodles are really good.Not as good as the ones from my old neighborhoods but the closest thing I’ve found. I like the pork and the shrimp ones best.” 

“I haven’t tried the shrimp yet. I’ve never had shrimp before. It looks weird.”

“You’ve never had shrimp? Oh, well I guess that makes sense.”

“Yeah, we didn’t live on Earth for very long. I really grew up on the Citadel.”

“Well, shrimp are good as long as they’re deveined and peeled.” She turned her attention back to him completely. “There, down there. That’s our stop.”

Aaron set the cab down gently. He got out first and helped Celeste out. “Which way?”

“Down this way.” She tugged on his arm and they set off. Aaron tried to hide his surprise at how nice of an area it was.

“What… What does Lana do, anyway? I’ve only seen her at Dark Star.”

“She’s an escort. A really successful one, actually. She has some really generous regulars, including the one that set her up in this condo. She pays the rent and all the utilities for her so she can have a nice place to… visit, if you get my drift.”

“That’s really generous of her.”

“She’s super nice. I’ve run into her a few times popping in over the last few… well, years, now.” She grinned. “We all know what’s going on and we all pretend like it isn’t. Here, this is it.”

They walked up to the front door of a very sleek apartment. Celeste punched in the code on the keypad next to the door and they walked in. Aaron paused, in awe of the inside of the place- it was nicer than even his apartment. It was huge, with top of the line appliances, sleek designer furniture that he was surprised to find was also incredibly comfortable, expensive art, and a large sparkling pool outside. Celeste saw the look on his face and grinned. “Wanna get in the pool?”

“Um… sure.” 

“Come on, let’s see what suits she has in the outdoor cabinet. She always has a ton just in case of parties. I would say fuck it and skinny dip but I get the distinct feeling neither her nor Jack wants to see you naked. Well, Lana might….”

“I’m okay with not being naked in front of them.” He smiled and followed her out to the pool deck. She opened the cabinet. She started rifling through it and lit up when she found a pink swimsuit. She tossed it aside and kept digging.

“Here.” She tossed him a suit. She casually stripped down out of her club outfit and tied on the bikini. “I’m going to find some drinks. You want anything?”

“Uh.. grab me a beer I guess?” She smiled before turning and walking back inside. He blatantly stared after her as he changed and she went looking through the fridge. She stood with a beer in her hand, pointing to it questioningly. He nodded. She grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge and sauntered back out to the pool.

“Lana and Jack should be here in a few. Garrus couldn’t get back to the Normandy fast enough.”

“That doesn’t surprise me somehow.” He winced as Celeste jumped into the pool. “How did you not get that everywhere?”

“I’ve done this a few times.” She took a long swig out of the bottle. A noise behind them turned out to be Lana and Jack. “Oh, I was hoping Lana would find someone to bring home.”

“Is she really going to kick us out if she hears us?”

“I don’t know. Wanna find out?” She winked.

“Hey bitches.” Lana grinned. “I’m surprised you’re not off fucking like rabbits.”

“Later.” Celeste grinned.

“Well that’ll be a joy.” Lana gestured to Jack as she walked back towards her room. “Pick out any suit you want, if you want one.”

Celeste turned her attention back to Aaron as he jumped into the pool next to her. Giggling, she splashed him with one hand while holding the wine bottle as far away as possible with the other. They went back and forth, laughing, until Lana and Jack jumped in at the same time. Celeste did a double-take at Jack- she’d known that Jack had to be covered in tattoos but had never seen any of them from the waist down. “Holy shit that must have taken forever.”

“It did.” Jack smirked. “That’s a no-brainer.”

“Aaron, you can peel your jaw off the floor any time you want,” Celeste joked. When he flushed red, the women laughed at him. “I’m picking on you, relax. Tonight’s about Jack.”

“It felt good to blow that place sky high.”

“You going to get any ink to commemorate it?” Lana jerked her thumb towards Celeste. “Like this nerd?”

“You know what? Maybe.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Aaron groaned and stretched as he woke up. Celeste wasn’t in bed and he sat upright, briefly panicked. Hearing noise from the kitchen, he scurried out of bed to get his clothes on and stepped out into the living room. Celeste was preparing coffee. She looked up and smiled at him. “As much fun as it was, I don’t know that I can go another round. Apparently five is my limit.”

Aaron laughed. She gestured to the coffee pot and he nodded. She opened her mouth to say something else but her eyes widened. Aaron looked behind him and was surprised to see Lana and Jack coming out of Lana’s room. Apparently Lana HAD brought someone home with her. Celeste cackled.

“Fuck off, Shepard.” Jack smirked. “No time left to dick around, we gotta get back to the ship and you know it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Celeste smiled sadly. “I made some coffee so we can get going.”

Lana smiled and fished out some thermoses to keep their coffee warm. “Come on. Get a cup to go and we'll go with you to the ship.”

Celeste and Jack made their coffee in silence. When they were done, Celeste put on a big grin and pointed towards the door. “Let’s go, then.”

They stumbled out of the apartment and towards the transit hub. Lana had a smile on her face the whole time, but Celeste knew her well enough to recognize the hidden panic. If she’d developed a thing for Jack, she had two people walking into hell. And she was handling it pretty well, at least for the time being. They piled into the cab as she regaled Jack and Aaron with stories from when she was back on Earth with Celeste. Celeste let Lana drive the cab, much to the others’ relief. By the time the cab set down near the dock, all four of them were laughing nearly to the point of tears, which was probably a good thing as they hugged and awkwardly said goodbye. Lana threw her arms around Celeste. Her voice was barely over a whisper. “You better find a way to come back. And you better bring her back with you, so help me.”

“You know I’m going to do everything in my power. We’re building a good team, and upgrading everything we can. I’ll be damned if Collectors kill me again.” She stepped back and looked Lana directly in the eye. “I promise.”


	24. Strike Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slow progress, but it's there. And the Illusive Man does his thing again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I"m feeling better about a few things. The fic will get a little less weighty.

Celeste’s eyes widened as she stared at Anderson. He’d not only not told her anything about Kaidan when she’d gone to him for help with him, but he sent him to SPY ON HER. It wasn’t as bad as the Illusive man setting her up as bait, but it was still enough to send her reeling. “At least tell me he came back with proof that the Alliance will listen to. Or at least the Council. Fucking somebody listen to us for once.”

“Yes. But he couldn’t find any connection to the Reapers. The Council still thinks this is some sort of elaborate hoax set in motion by Saren.”

“Saren died two years ago and I’ve barely given him a thought since.” Lie. “My entire focus since coming back has been protecting the human colonies.”

“Listen, I believe you. But no one saw the hologram on Ilos, and no one believes the parts of Sovereign left on the Citadel are proof of Reapers.”

“You know, wait until something bad happens. I’ll stand alone in my corner and say ‘I told you so.’”

“Don’t be dramatic. You won’t be alone. You have friends in your corner who witnessed all of this. Alenko…”

“I don’t want to talk about Kaidan anymore,” she snapped. “He let me know what he thinks about all of this. You’re right. I have friends in my corner. And he’s no longer one of them. I gotta go.”

She abruptly turned and stormed out of Anderson’s office. Kasumi jumped back from the door, pretending she hadn’t been listening. Thane was a ways down the hallway, probably scoping for weaknesses or entry points or something. Celeste walked past them without a word. Her friends exchanged glances and scurried to keep up with her. She punched the code into the cab stand just the slightest bit too hard, attracting the attention of a nearby man.

“Hey, you’re….” Celeste ignored him and practically leapt into the cab that had lowered itself in front of them.

“I know it doesn’t feel this way but….” Kasumi said as she and Thane followed her into the cab. Celeste put her hand up to silence her.

“Don’t.” She threw the cab into gear and they were off towards where the Normandy was docked. She could tell Thane was trying to refrain from saying anything, which she was incredibly grateful for at the moment- she wasn’t in the mood for his normally uplifting spiritual crap. She winced at the thought. That wasn’t fair, she thought. None of this was his fault and lashing out at him wasn’t a good look.

They rolled out of the cab when it touched down next to the Normandy. She began pulling off pieces of her armor in the airlock, still in silence, and stormed back to the elevator. Kelly raised her hand to signal her to stop. She managed to keep from rolling her eyes. “Yes, Kelly?” 

“The Illusive Man would like to speak….”

“Oh for fucks sake. What’s he gonna set me up for this time?” She spat. “He can wait a minute until I get changed.” 

She sighed loudly as she slipped into the elevator and pressed the button to head up to her cabin. She was dreading this conversation, though, if she were being honest, she dreaded basically every conversation with him. Once he set her up on Horizon and showed she was right not to trust him, every little thing he did reeked of probable sketchiness. She couldn’t wait to see where this trap led. She also couldn’t forget what they had found on Pragia.

She tossed the pieces of her armor in the general direction of her bed. She’d wound up sleeping next to it the last couple of nights- alone, of course, and that would probably continue until they went through the relay and all died horrible deaths. It was a little ironic that Cerberus had spent millions or billions or something to bring her back from the dead, just to send her off to die again. She was going to get a complex if she wasn’t careful.

She needed a drink or a friend or both. Miranda and Jacob had been growing on her, but she didn’t trust either of them as far as she could throw them without biotics. She and Jack had partied multiple times at this point, but she knew without a doubt that they weren't exactly friends. Mordin wouldn’t shut up, and probably was working on something more important than any of them realized. Grunt… well, was a krogan. Maybe Kasumi? No. Samara was too busy being Samara with her code and whatnot. She definitely couldn’t complain to the dude she currently had a crush on. She let out a loud sigh.

“Hey EDI? Can you ask Garrus to come up here?”

“Certainly, Shepard.”

“EDI, is there any way I can ask you to call me Celeste?”

“My programming requires me to be at least somewhat formal, Shepard.”

“Oh.” Celeste frowned. “Well, get Garrus to come up here, and to bring any dextrose whatever he can actually drink.”

She rifled through the small fridge under her desk. She’d apparently finished off her last bottle of wine at some point, not that she could remember doing so. All she had was that fucking bourbon. ‘I gotta remember to restock on the Citadel’, she thought. 

She easily unscrewed the cap, not paying attention to where it fell because she was definitely finishing it and crying tonight. She’d rather face down a thresher maw than even remotely deal with her feelings. She took a long swig, wincing when she heard the knock on her cabin door. “Come in!”

Garrus walked in carrying two bottles with him. One of them she recognized as her favorite vodka and she practically squealed with excitement. “I had a feeling you were low.” 

“Ugh, yes. All I have is this shit,” she said, holding up the bottle.”And I swear to god if I never saw this again I wouldn’t be upset.”

Garrus glanced over at the framed photo of Kaidan, face down and currently serving as a combination paperweight and coaster. “You’re going to ruin that frame like that, you know. It IS a nice frame.”

“It’s replaceable.” She grinned. “Most picture frames are.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“A Collector ship?” Joker was clearly annoyed. “We’re supposed to go chase down a Collector ship and just waltz on?”

“It’s derelict,” Miranda piped up. “Right now, it’s the only lead we have on figuring out how to get through the Omega-4 relay. Something allows them to come and go that tears other ships apart.” 

“I don’t like it.” Celeste shook her head. Jack looked ready to explode, and Garrus was definitely on the same wavelength as Celeste. “I can’t put my finger on it, but something’s hinky. Timmy said the Turians who found it were decimated. Cerberus just happened to intercept the signal and is stalling the Alliance?”

“We all know the Alliance will drag their feet. By the time they show up and do anything about it, the Collectors will have come to salvage the ship and strip it of anything useful.” Miranda shook her head emphatically. “We have to go now. We can leave the ship behind for the Alliance, but we need to beat them to the tech, assuming there is some.”

“I still don’t like it.” Celeste frowned. “Unfortunately, Miranda is right. Unless any of you geniuses has an idea. Unless… Mordin?”

“No. Collector ship best approach. Can scan tech, maybe learn agreement with Reapers.” Mordin tapped his finger on his face. “Need more info.”

“Well, I guess that settles that. Miranda. I need you to stay here and monitor EDI as she tries to find something in the system that can help us. The ground team will look for anything physical we can find.”

“Sounds good, Shepard.” Miranda threw a sideways glance at Jack as she turned and left the debriefing room. Jack flipped her off as she left. Celeste raised an eyebrow and shook her head.

“I guess we should be on our way, shouldn’t we? Joker, you know what to do.”

“Yes, Commander.”

Celeste looked around at what team members were still in the room. This had to be handled carefully, more carefully than on Horizon. Even a dead Collector ship was bound to have some stragglers. She hoped this wasn’t another one of the Illusive Man’s stunts. Her eyes met Thane’s, and she felt her cheeks starting to burn. “I should, uh… go…”

She awkwardly turned and slipped out of the room. She was absolutely a hundred percent sure that everyone in the room had picked up on what had just happened. Dammit.

She slipped into the elevator and frantically hit the button to go up to her cabin. She’d been slacking on reading her more “minor” reports, plus Garrus and a few of the others had apparently sent her some concerns about the Normandy and possible upgrades. If it gave them an extra edge fighting the Reapers, she knew she was obligated to look into them. The team was the closest thing to family she’d had in a long time, and she wasn’t about to lose any of them out of carelessness. Especially Garrus, who’d been the most loyal friend she’d ever had, or…

She needed to stop. She stepped out of the elevator and into her cabin, shaking her head. She was barely over Kaidan (okay, definitely not over him, regardless of how shit had gone down. Her anger at him didn’t change the fact that she’d gotten close enough to let him in, and let him stay there. Now he was living rent-free in her mind while she was constantly reminded of him by nearly everything on this damn ship. 

No.

She didn’t need to stop. She was a grown-ass woman and this was her fucking ship. If she wanted to jump someone else's bones (and they were okay with her doing so), she had every right to do it. But first, the Collectors.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Shepard. This was a trap,” EDI said with what seemed like actual irritation. 

“He set us up?” Kasmuni’’s eyes widened.

“Yeah. Again.” Jack sneered. “Why is anyone surprised by this? This is right up Cerberus’s alley.”

“For someone who sure spent a lot of money bringing me back, he definitely likes setting me up far too often.” Celeste reloaded and looked between her squadmates. “Better get ready because I’m sure this is going to get real bad real fast.”

Kasumi and Jack took cover just as the platform they were on lifted without warning. Celeste dropped to the floor. The platform only moved a short distance, and when she popped up when the platform stopped, she was surprised to find that they had connected to another group of platforms. All of them had Collectors that were waiting to try to get rid of them. “Get ready, ladies….”

Jack popped up with a shockwave almost immediately. Kasumi threw one of her trusty flashbang grenades. One positive of being up in the air at the moment was that they had no trouble just knocking their foes off the platforms and down into the abyss below. They cut through a few waves of them, then hopped off the last platform onto solid ground. They approached a dropoff. Kasumi slowed behind them, looking around. Celeste turned back to face her. “What’s up, Kasumi?”

“Don’t you hear that buzzing?” She asked. Celeste and Jack stopped, trying to see if they could pick up on whatever it was she could hear. A moment later, the color drained from Celeste’s face. “What? What is it?”

“It’s a creature Mordin calls a Praetorian. It’s devastating- if you’re near it when it touches down, it’ll wreck your shields and kill you pretty quickly. I wonder if there’s a way to go around. Kasumi, you got any ideas?”

She squinted up and searched the walls around them. She pointed at what seemed to be a vent nearby. “There. If my hunch is right, this should take us at least past the next room. It might even take us to where we left the shuttle.”

“I say we try it. What do you think, Jack?”

“What?” She looked confused.

“Kasumi’s idea. What do you think of it?”

“Uh… why? You’re in charge, you decide.”

“You’re a member of my time, and I would like to know how you feel about this idea.”

“Oh,” Jack said. She blinked a few times. “Honestly, I say we do it. Save the fight for when we can’t avoid it. You didn’t see the Praetorian on Horizon.”

“Alright. Let me see if I can….” Kasumi walked up to the vent and easily pulled off the cover. “Well, that was easy. Come on.”

Kasumi easily climbed in. Jack followed her, and Celeste followed Jack. They crept through the vent slowly and as quietly as possible. As they passed by two slots in a section of the vent, they looked out and saw the Praetorian waiting for them. Kasumi gasped quietly. Not missing a step, she continued leading them through the vent. Not much further on, they spotted the room where they had gotten out of the shuttle. “Looks like we found our stop. I don’t see any Collectors but be ready when we drop down just in case.”

Kasumi kicked out the vent cover and dropped down. It was just the tiniest bit further of a drop than expected, so each woman let out a grunt of pain. They booked it towards the shuttle, hopping in as the ship started to power up around them. “Be ready, Joker!”

The Normandy was ready for them as they steered the shuttle away from the Collector ship and into the cargo bay. They stumbled out as Joker punched it and got them out of danger with just a few seconds to spare. They trudged over to the elevator and it was Jack’s turn to punch the button. They rode up in silence, with Jack getting off on her floor on the way up. Kasumi dipped out silently a floor up, and Celeste knew it was time to have another little talk with Timmy. She rode up to the next floor and headed directly to the debriefing room. The hologram flared up around her and she was ready for him when she was in full view.

“Are you fucking serious? Another setup? You spent an awful lot on me just to keep throwing me to the wolves.”

“Relax, Shepard. The scans EDI did confirm our theory that the relay somehow recognizes the difference between the Collector ships and everything else. It’s related to an IFF mechanism they have on board.”

“A little late, buddy. I was just ON a Collector ship. Thanks for that one, by the way.”

“You wouldn’t have had time to get that on.” An extra long drag of his cigarette. “Your team is looking good. Keep building it if you like, or go after them now. The choice is yours>

The room transformed back to its normal appearance. A few moments later, there was a light knock on the door. “Who is it?”

Thane walked in, wringing his hands. “Shepard... I need your help.”


End file.
